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to think the number of rude, selfish people now completely outnumber the decent

(98 Posts)
mypokerface Sat 18-Jul-09 21:02:46

I don't walk around on tenderhooks but I try to live my life so I cause as little offence to others. This is how I was brought up - to be polite and caring towards other people. This can be simple things, like helping someone with a buggy, holding the door open for someone, offering up my seat to an elderly person,keeping my music down late at night so I don't inconvenience my next door neighbours, and not mowing the lawn at 6 am on a sunday morning You get my drift.

Lately though I seem to live among people who are are jaw dropping inconsiderate. I've had doors shut in my face because people can't be bothered to hold them open for a fraction of a second, stood up to offer a pregnant woman my seat didn't get a word of thanks, had no sleep because my next door neighbours who live in a terrace are holding a series of parties in their garden with loud music until 3 am in the morning. Not to forget the people in cars who sit outside blasting their music out or revving their engines. There seems to be a complete disrespect for everyone else. Are people oblivious to their actions or do they simply not care?

I know I sound really preachy but this is getting me down. I've started to think I'm way to 'nice'. And they do say if you can't beat them...

Tee2072 Sat 18-Jul-09 21:05:08

Keep being nice and considerate. That's what I do. And stand here on my high horse about it. grin

HolyScrotum Sat 18-Jul-09 21:05:44

Well be a shit then. Doubt you'd feel better though.

Disagree that bad outnumber good.

1dilemma Sat 18-Jul-09 21:06:49

YANBU my dh and I say this to each other constantly

my explanation is that we live in London but there is some really dreadful behaviour around never saw anything like it when I was young!!!!!!

mypokerface Sat 18-Jul-09 21:09:26

Yes I live in London too, 1dilemma!

1dilemma Sat 18-Jul-09 21:14:17

well there you go we probably live on the same street grin

southeastastra Sat 18-Jul-09 21:16:50


notanumber Sat 18-Jul-09 21:17:57

I was in the Early Pregnancy Assessment Unit of my local hospital last week.

Everyone in there is there because their pregnancy is threatened in one way or another. No-one is having fun.

There is only ever one doctor on call, and obviously emergencies (someone with a suspected ectopic for example) get seen before less urgent cases (spotting without pain, for example). This means that wait times can be very long. There are notices everywhere to this effect, and I've have thought that it was plain common sense.

But everytime I've been in there (sadly for me, that's lots) there've been people kicking off at the staff and the other patients about how long they've been waiting.

Last week a young girl was there with her partner and her mum and she was shouting at all the women being taken in "before her" about how long she'd been waiting and she'd "got a dead kid in her" (poor girl) and she's not having this, it's taking the piss and she needs to be seen NOW.

I do understand that it's very distressing to have a missed miscarriage but honestly, is it really that hard to see that some of the women waiting have pregnancies that are still viable? If she gets seen before them, then their babies might die. The staff can't do anything now to save her baby but maybe they can do something for some of the others That's why they need to be seen first. Surely it's not that difficult to get your head round?

I've seen variations of this EVERY TIME I've been in. Which is a lot.

In an ideal world of course you'd want to be whisked straight in and given counselling and an amublance ride home and your own privite nurse, but it's not an ideal world. And you are not the only person in it.

I find this me me me attidude so depressing.

Which is a very long way of saying no, YANBU!

Doodle2u Sat 18-Jul-09 21:18:28

No - I still firmly believe that the good people outweigh the bad but I do concede that as a population, we are becoming more selfish and less considerate.

We live in the "Fuck Off Era" - everything is met with the \/ sign if you dare to say anything, even if you are clearly in the right and they are clearly in the wrong!

The majority of people are still beautiful inside though smile

HolyScrotum Sat 18-Jul-09 21:21:26

Ah doodle thats blardy lovely!

I reckon this "worlds going to pot, everyones a shite" attitude is as negative for society as rude/ selfish people.

Just my onion.

mypokerface Sat 18-Jul-09 21:22:49

notanumber, I hope it was good news at the early pregnancy unit for you.

Everytime I think I can no longer be shocked, something happens to disillusion me again. Was shopping today, an old woman in the front of the queue was having problems finding her purse, the tutting and sighing from everyone behind her in the queue was awful to witness. I mean we were in Tescos FFS surely people can wait a few moments to pay for their shopping.

HecatesTwopenceworth Sat 18-Jul-09 21:23:39

I don't agree. I think it is just that the nice people don't get noticed because they don't cause trouble!

sweetnitanitro Sat 18-Jul-09 21:31:54

I agree with Hecate, you notice the rude people more so it seems like there are more of them. When we start getting loads of threads about how people have said thank you or have not been disturbed by their neighbours, then we need to worry grin

scribblehead Sat 18-Jul-09 21:42:00

notanumber -feel gulity now. I was in early preg assess a long while back. Needed a scan. Drank water as told. Then no weeing. Waited and waited and waited and waited till I felt sure my bladder would explode! I have the smallest bladder in the world anyway. Then I kept heckling the staff to see how long it would be and threatening to go and wee. I don;t think I was rude but I was a PITA! I never really thought of it till I read your post.

grumblinalong Sat 18-Jul-09 21:45:32

I've noticed this 'phenomenon' is definitely heightened and more frequent in a health service setting.

I regularly attend children's outpatient clinics for my both my DC's and see the most selfish and inconsiderate human behaviour. I understand people are stressed that their dc's are ill but shouting and being rude to staff and other patients because of waiting times seems so unreasonable. I feel like saying to them 'This is a FREE health service, the staff are here only to HELP you. They are only human.' But I don't for fear of being abused myself...don't know if this is a sad reflection on myslef or others really. YANBU.

blueshoes Sat 18-Jul-09 21:46:17

I live in London. Depends on the area you live in and where you go.

As you know, nice areas are cheek-to-jowl with less nice ones. People who shop in Waitrose are generally different (shall we say) from those in Asda. I personally shop in Sainsbury. But if I accidentally bump my trolley into someone else's, I can expect a smile at Sainsbury and a glare at Asda. Generally speaking, of course.

grumblinalong Sat 18-Jul-09 21:46:51

Sorry for sp. The 1 bottle of pear cider has affected me more than I thought.

onepieceoflollipop Sat 18-Jul-09 21:48:17

I personally think that if you have a few days with a "run" of bad experiences, this can cloud your judgment.

Overall, I think most people are decent. However ask me that on a random day when I have a headache/pms and six people have driven at me in a road ragey manner then I will tell you different.

We were at a fete today. A big teenager ish lad (13 ish) was messing around with a younger boy, and stumbled right on top of dd2 in her pushchair. (she's almost 2). Instinctively I said (firmly but nicely to him) to please be careful as there were lots of little ones also a lot of people using wheelchairs to get around. He ignored me initially (but this is the nice part) because he had stooped down to dd2 to ask her if she was ok (she was) and stroke her head. He then looked at me apologetically and said to the other boy they needed to go and play somewhere less crowded.

I was actually quite after that. If I had known who his parents were I would have gone and told them how lovely he handled his mistake.

1dilemma Sat 18-Jul-09 21:50:42

I went to a summer concert in Kew gardens (now that's pretty nice and not a cheap night out - for me anyway) whole thing was totally ruined for us by the behaviour of the people around.

Not mindless thuggery but twits who walked accross your picnic as you were eating it for entertainment

why can't people sit down eat their own food listen reasonably quietly clap at the end and go home without pushing is it really that hard/that much to ask?

onepieceoflollipop Sat 18-Jul-09 21:58:03

Were they drunk 1dilemma? Their behaviour sounds dreadful regardless of whether they were or weren't though.

We went out for a cheap meal last week (local pub) and sat near 2 couples in their early twenties. When dh got up to go to the bar their language became noticeably more offensive (very loud use of the f word, 3-4 times in one sentence as one example) and their volume dramatically increased. Almost in the way that some young teenagers swear just for effect.

I was sat alone with the 2 dcs. I just ignored it, I am 100% positive it was for my "benefit", their manner did seem slightly intimidating. Interestingly when dh returned they quietened down. The dcs were sitting quietly, so I don't think it was them being irritated by dcs being in the pub.

mypokerface Sat 18-Jul-09 21:59:54

I just wonder at the audacity of people to regularly mow their lawn at 6am on a Sunday morning. I wouldn't dream of doing this, the thought wouldn't enter my head. Do they not think, oh its a Sunday morning, people have been working all week, might fancy a lie-in or I might have shift workers for neighbours trying to get a few hours sleep in. Or worse, these things do cross their minds but they just don't give a damn and carry on regardless.

trixymalixy Sat 18-Jul-09 22:02:43

I was thinking this yesterday after complaining in my local somerfield about the member of staff who parked in a disabled bay, and then saw another girl drop her fag packet abot two steps away from a bin.

I like to think decent people are in the majority, but the rude people do seem to be increasing.

GodzillasBumcheek Sat 18-Jul-09 22:04:19

i think the behaviour of everyone i notice is on the extreme end of the spectrum, but there are definately more door-in-yer-facers than hold-door-politelyers.

But it's such a difference to your day when someone says 'hang on a minute luv, have you only got that loaf of bread to buy? you go in front of me!', or when one driver signals you across the road and smiles about it, or when someone holds the door for you when you have arms full of heavy shopping...of course we notice that, too.

jkklpu Sat 18-Jul-09 22:09:35

In the past few months, I've lost my wallet and then bag (containing wallet, house keys, coat, lots of stuff) on trains in 2 separate incidents. The first time, the person who found it lived 300 miles away, cancelled my cards straight away and then spent ages trying to track me down (no address in the wallet), eventually finding my parents and calling them. He sent it back to me without taking any of the cash inside for postage (I'd told him just to take all the cash (£15) for his trouble. Was surprised and very encouraged by this. The bag, too, was handed in to the rail company and I got it back intact, complete with 10-day-old punnet of strawberries. grin

These 2 things have given me a lot more faith in people, despite the negative encounters I see every so often. But I know the whole thing about neighbours/antisocial noise is a nightmare, especially in the summer with open windows.

mypokerface Sat 18-Jul-09 22:11:33

It made my day when an elderly chap came sprinting after me with my coat when I'd left it behind in a cafe. smile

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