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to find talk of giving and receiving 'support' incredibly irritating?

(34 Posts)
moondog Fri 17-Jul-09 23:29:10

What does it mean exactly?

mrsruffallo Fri 17-Jul-09 23:30:12

Good bra?

lockets Fri 17-Jul-09 23:30:40

Message withdrawn

lockets Fri 17-Jul-09 23:31:22

Message withdrawn

moondog Fri 17-Jul-09 23:31:45

Au contraire Lockets.This is a definable example of 'support' so completely acceptable.

NB Does it lift and separate also?

mrsruffallo Fri 17-Jul-09 23:33:38

Great minds, lockets grin

lockets Fri 17-Jul-09 23:34:08

Message withdrawn

AitchTwoOh Fri 17-Jul-09 23:36:46

why do you find it irritating? what do you think it means?

2shoes Fri 17-Jul-09 23:42:38

I often get asked if I have support, I normally say "whats that?"

TigerDrivesAgain Fri 17-Jul-09 23:43:52

baffling not irritating, what is it?

Wonderstuff Fri 17-Jul-09 23:44:15

My life has changed since I visited bravissimo. Support is very important post children imo.

AitchTwoOh Fri 17-Jul-09 23:50:33

ack, gah. don't like this. it's laughing at people who talk about 'support', when they're likely the people who can least tolerate being laughed at. don't like this one bit. yabu, moondog.

and for the record a year ago when i was in hospital with my premature baby, the support i got from here (the emails, the texts, the cards, the gifts, just knowing that people cared) meant the world to me. i couldn't have given a shit what they called it, all i know is that it was given freely and with the best of intentions and that i was happy and comforted to receive it.

Maninadirndl Fri 17-Jul-09 23:51:38

<bloke stumbles upon thread>


enlighten me!

Not sure why you all get insecure on this issue, we men have our own "ishoos" to deal with!

PeachyTheRiverParrettHarlot Fri 17-Jul-09 23:52:00

Well from my homestart days its mai9nly about someone knowing that you think they'rewoprth the time to spend a few minutes on.

The rest, IMVHO,is almost irrelevantI cewrtainly get a lot of support on here, by which I mean interaction from people in a similar situation.

OTOH I fear it would take more than Rigby an dPeller to make much of me post ds4 and extended bf.

moondog Sat 18-Jul-09 00:08:05

Oh good Lord, lighten up Aitch.
I am talking wishy washy touchy feely language that masquerades as something useful and tangible.

Not quite the same thing.

TotalChaos Sat 18-Jul-09 00:11:33

is this the behaviourist in you wanting to pin down wording rather than thinking the concept of support is irritating?

support can be anything from - "here's the info you are after", to "poor you, how awful, how do you put up with it, let me listen to your gripes", to "here's some spare clothes/books/cds you might find useful", to "let me take your child for a couple of hours while you see a film".

TotalChaos Sat 18-Jul-09 00:12:18

ah, crossposted!

hunkermunker Sat 18-Jul-09 00:12:19

To be fair, MD (hello!), you didn't explain much.

I'm still not sure of the distinction you're drawing either - the support that's wishy-washy as opposed to the support that's real and useful.

I know where you stand on bras, so far, so to speak grin

moondog Sat 18-Jul-09 00:25:16

Hello Hunker. smile
Hmm, probably TC.
I think it overused in the caring professions actually.
Isn't the phrase 'offerinig support' actually code for 'I'm doing fuck all but want to enter summat on the database so I look busy and useful'? Probably.

Hmm, ignore me. I'm far too churlish for a Saturday and really should be packing-orf to Bangladesh tomorrow. (Not much 'support'- real or imagined for those poor sods there.)

pickyvic Sat 18-Jul-09 00:27:58

well i recently said i felt quite well supported by people on MN when talking of my SN son. i dont take offence at people not understanding that - i think they must be incredibly lucky to have never need any such "support" in their lives. but im not offended in the least that anyone would find my thanking others in the same boat as me irritating. thats why i post on the SN boards.

oh and recently i spoke on here of my heroin addict brother attempts to reconcile with me after 10 years and my mothers attempts to defend her husbands abuse of my 7 year old self and i actually found peoples comments supportive when they said 'fuck that for a game of dominoes.' ...made me feel ok about my lack of interest. made me feel ok and less guilty about it all.

see. i quite like support. and i dont have to tell anyone in my RL what a fucking nut house i actually come from....
support can come in many forms. or forums even, and i quite like knowing that total strangers think my POV is ok.
so i think support is ok. especially when its anon.

TotalChaos Sat 18-Jul-09 00:35:36

I think moondog isn't really getting at the sort of support/help we offer each other on here, more the sort of woolly promises that get made in professional type reports. monitor is another awfully vague one I've been on the receiving end of - without details of the frequency/duration of monitoring, and of what action is to be taken depending on outcome of the monitoring, it can all be a bit meaningless.

best wishes for your trip tomorrow MD.

Goblinchild Sat 18-Jul-09 00:42:52

But TC, that's when you get your maternal arse in gear and go and nail their professional feet to the floor.
Having been promised 'support' I always want to know how much, what are the specifics and for how long. That's why an IEP is good, the targets detail what should be happening.
I like being given support by mates as well, pickyvic and I have staggered along, slurping from the same winebucket for a couple of years, supporting each other against the odds and the real world.
Sometimes it's what keeps you going when there doesn't seem to be anyone else even noticing you are crawling on the floor with a ton of crap on your back.
*waves to pickyvic*

pickyvic Sat 18-Jul-09 00:45:43

*waves back at goblinchild*!

ta! so....pass the wine bucket!

Goblinchild Sat 18-Jul-09 00:47:55

Four more workdays to go, then G and I are on holiday. No trouble so far, still got my fingers and toes crossed though. Bit of a bugger trying to type like this, but can't be too careful. grin

moondog Sat 18-Jul-09 00:49:39

Yes TC.
And the 'monitor'

Will enjoy the inflight entertainment and booze. I need it.

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