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to want to whinge, rant, rave and moan on here because I seem to do nothing but run around like a blue arsed fly but can't seem to please anyone?

(12 Posts)
citronella Thu 16-Jul-09 19:32:49

I really want to scream my patience and tolerance levels are running very very low.

I hate hate that I am not free of xh in every sense of the word and that he will always be in my life because of the dc

I hate the fact that everything is always f*ing negative with him - I rushed ds1 to hospital the other night in a cab (don't have a car) with a sore throat and headache. He was diagnosed with tonsilitis. So cut a long story short I tell xh and first thing he says is "you know its a not a good hospital". WTF its the one that was open and that I was sent to by out of hours doctor service. They gave ds antibiotics and he's on the mend. What was I supposed to do go 'oh no its not a good hospital let me pick and choose'?

I have booked a venue for ds1's bday party (I'm paying for it all as usual). He doesn't go 'great! Ds1 gets a party' but first thing is 'who's going and what will they have been told about him?' - Always has to be about poor little him

He borrowed £60 off me on Sunday promising to repay it on Tuesday. Told him I really need it back because I'm on a budget (according to his philosophy I shouldn't moan because I'm on a big salary. He seems to conveniently forgetting that the aftermath of our union is massive and I mean massive debts, that I am still paying the mortgage on the house he lives in and the rent on the house I live in with the children). Upon reminding him that I need it I get arsy defensive excuse response that he is struggling to pay for things and manage everything he has to manage and that he has an injury.
WHAT ABOUT ME???
All he was ever expected to do in the marriage was stick to promises and assurances made over and over again for years that he would decorate the house.
Enough of him

So, I am taking time off work to look after ds and I can tell they aren't impressed. Everyone else puts in odd hours, travels etc but I can't. I still work my arse off but it doesn't seem to be enough.

Childminder(great childminder though she is) keeps waving swine flu symptoms articles at me and says she doesn't want to look after ds1 tomorrow. I think he's ready to go back to school (he's climbing the walls at home). Doctor said he's fit for school. I don't want to pay her for a full week if she is the one saying she won't have him. I have a good mind to send him to breakfast and afterschool club and dock one day's fees from next week's pay.

I am tired and grumpy. Kids not seeing me smile much and the whole point of getting out of crap marriage was so that I could be a happy smiley mummy.

Sorry have gone on for too long and apologies for rubbish punctuation. I'm rushing so I can put dss to bed.

Thanks for getting this far.

citronella Thu 16-Jul-09 19:33:27

Lord that was long!

citronella Thu 16-Jul-09 19:56:52

Must be BU then.

<slopes off>

stonethecrows Thu 16-Jul-09 19:59:46

YANBU.... glass of wine and bar of Galaxy tonight? smile

HumphreyCobbler Thu 16-Jul-09 20:04:47

no come back

It all sounds very tough. From family experience I know that you will get used to having your ex around and he won't always get to you so much (he sounds like a prize arse, aren't you glad you are not still with him?).

You will be smiley mummy soon I am sure. The week you have had is enough to make anyone grumpy, especially with the scare over your ds. Hope he is getting better.

bedjumper Thu 16-Jul-09 20:08:25

sounds like you're having a stressful time.
sorry to hear ds is unwell, hope he feels better soon

why are you paying your ex's mortgage though as well as your rent? and why are you lending him money if you need it yourself and he is being a whinging bastard to you?
let him fend for himself and you will have one less thing to worry about!

citronella Thu 16-Jul-09 20:17:48

Oh hello

Glass of wine - check
chocolate - check (in the form of a chocolate doughnut blush)

I am sooooo glad I am no longer married to him or under the same roof. Despite my grumpiness the emotional freedom I have now is like a lump of lead being lifted off my chest and really literally does make me walk around with a grin on my face and a spring in my step. Most days.

I always paid the mortgage and everything else because he was so wrapped up in the fact that he was the home-husband and supposedly doing up the house that he never really seriously thought about getting out there and getting a job. Any job. Might have made him a happier person too.

I told him last time not to ask me for money again. He has a way of asking which makes you feel uncharitable and the bad person if you don't. I am weak enough to give in just to avoid a lengthy drawn out discusssion which would eventually lead to an argument.

citronella Thu 16-Jul-09 20:20:23

Fool that I am.

HumphreyCobbler Thu 16-Jul-09 20:44:43

What my dsis did was plan her strategy in advance. We thought about what her ex was likely to say/do and worked out the best way to deal with it. It helped if we viewed him as a sort of animal who couldn't help himself (sounds very odd I know, but it took the sting out of his behavior).

It just gave her enough perspective on the situation to stop him from manipulating her emotionally.

citronella Thu 16-Jul-09 20:48:00

That is definitely a good strategy Humphrey and doesn't sound odd because now that we are not under the same roof I can take a step back and think like that.

I think this week it's the combination of everything.

HumphreyCobbler Thu 16-Jul-09 20:49:55

you have had rather an overwhelming week

hope next week is rather more relaxing

citronella Thu 16-Jul-09 21:26:35

Thanks Humphrey. Feel a bit calmer now. Glass of wine (or two) and quiet house have helped.

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