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to think DH is thoughtless

(6 Posts)
debs40 Thu 16-Jul-09 13:14:25

I know he does it unintentionally but he does wind me up.

We have two kids - 6 and 3. 6 year old has possible Aspergers and can be pretty demanding (lots of routines etc). 3 year old is well, 3, and bonkers.

DH works an hour and a half away so is out until 7 every day.

I work (freelance) and study and do everything to do with the kids etc.

DS2 is ill today. He should have been in nursery yesterday but had ringworm. Today he has temperature and ear ache etc so might not be able to go in tomorrow.

I have a deadline for a board meeting on my PhD today at 7 - three way call with two other academics to check my progress. I had to do it at 7 as I'm surrounded by kids until then.

I now have a GP app for DS2 this afternoon. DS 1 however has end of term school disco which he will not attend without me.

So I was just explaining all this to DH. Telling him I don't know how I'm going to fit taking DS2 to the GPs with DS1 disco and any prep for this meeting.

His answer...go to the GP's then go late to the disco ...oh and no one will be very bother if I'm not up to speed for my board.

The idea of dragging DS1 to unplanned GPs visit before a disco which he'll be wound up about fills me with dread so I'll have to cancel it and try and get passed triage for another app tomorrow which, as it's a work day, means saying bye bye to the second child free day of the week.

AIBU to be annoyed with him? I know he can't solve my dilemma but he could sympathise. He never has to do this rushing around himself and has never even done the school/nursery run himself

makipuppy Thu 16-Jul-09 14:15:02

My DP is a bit aspergers too. If he can't help in a practical way he sort of wonders why I'm asking him in the first place. Sympathy is a wishy-washy directionless thing for him.

Can't DS1 go for an ice cream with you instead of the disco if he doesn't really fancy it anyway?

makipuppy Thu 16-Jul-09 14:16:51

Oops so sorry I thought it was your DP who was possibly Aspergers but it's your DS. Makes more sense that way.
Good luck with it all!

mumblechum Thu 16-Jul-09 14:21:11

Agree about the disco thing if your ds1 isn't bothered enough about going to go alone.

The priority has to be the phd thing imo.

debs40 Thu 16-Jul-09 14:21:17

Heh, I have wondered about DH too....it makes more sense to treat him that way!

debs40 Thu 16-Jul-09 14:47:40

The thing is DS1 won't go alone because he has social and communication difficulties (suspected AS) which make him very overwhelmed in busy environments. He gets anxious and nervous.

So it's not that he doesn't want to go. In fact, it's quite a big thing for him to want to go.

Oh well, just having a bad day with it all I suppose.

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