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Alright luv? This isn't OK, is it?

(138 Posts)
imaynotbeperfectbutimokmummy Thu 16-Jul-09 12:16:51

Need the mumsnet jury on this one - just to confirm that DP and I are right and his friend is wrong

DPs friend is a plumber, hes a lovely guy if a little OTT and hypercheerful, he always makes me smile. Thing is, he has this awful habit of calling women "luv" in the total stereotypical way that completely puts my back up. I forgive him because i know he doesn't mean anything by it and its just his way. But he has had problems with clients - why can't he understand that women really dont want to be called luv. It sounds condescending and patronising. Its ok coming from the old lady in the cake shop, but not from the plumber who is supposed to be entering into a professional contract and doing work in your house.

He says why should he change, its just his way - he is very "cor blimey ows yer father" and i do find it quite endearing, however the love thing does make my hackles rise.

Would it be a deal breaker for you if you needed work done in your home and the tradesman was "alright luv, dont worry about it, i'll sort if for ya" even if he is Mr lovely Smiley plumber? My DP is a carpenter and occasionally this guy has done some work for DP and vice verse and DP has had to tell him"for christ sake don't call her luv"

Your considerations?

Tamarto Thu 16-Jul-09 12:18:34

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest. However if he was saying wotcher you fat cow i may have a problem. grin

BitOfFun Thu 16-Jul-09 12:19:20

Wouldn't bother me. Unless he looked creepy.

TheChilliMooseisOnTheLoose Thu 16-Jul-09 12:20:02

I'd think he was a typical tradesman and it wouldn't bother me at all.

filchthemildmanneredjanitor Thu 16-Jul-09 12:20:09

wouldn't bother me in the slightest

fluffyanimal Thu 16-Jul-09 12:20:18

Presumably you don't live in the north then where everyone calls everyone luv? (Even the men) (joke).

I really couldn't give a toss so long as they do the job properly.

Yesterday a taxi driver called me darling. I thought it was sweet.

llareggub Thu 16-Jul-09 12:20:42

It wouldn't bother me.

suwoo Thu 16-Jul-09 12:21:26

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest either. Where I live oop north, it is quite normal to be called 'love'.

I hate to be rude, but I think you need to get out more wink.

DrunkenDaisy Thu 16-Jul-09 12:21:43

wouldn't bother me at all. in fact i like the odd term of endearment from a random.

you sound like a snob, sorry.

MadreInglese Thu 16-Jul-09 12:21:46

Wouldn't bother me, but then I'm a northerner smile

HuwEdwards Thu 16-Jul-09 12:22:58

Unless he prefixed it with 'want yer plumbing sorted out?' or 'I could flush yer tubes out' or 'want to see me plunger?'

then I wouldn't bat an eyelid.

Seriously, when a few people say it, it sounds forced and is mildly irritating at most, with others it's a natural as their eye colour.

Cosmosis Thu 16-Jul-09 12:23:19

Wouldn't bother me at all. I'm in Leeds and everyone gets called love, even blokes fairly often.

IneedacleanerIamalazyslattern Thu 16-Jul-09 12:24:21

wouldn't bother me in the slightest.
I get darling, pet, luv all sorts and doesn't bother me. In fact madam bothers me far more.

Cies Thu 16-Jul-09 12:25:09

Wouldn't bother me either.

Down in Devon you get called Me luvver.

KingCanuteIAm Thu 16-Jul-09 12:25:25

I say it to blokes, delivery drivers etc. Also Cheers Doll with a big grin, what is good for the goose and all that.

I think you are getting a bit knotted up about nothing TBH!

FabBakerGirlIsBack Thu 16-Jul-09 12:25:42

It isn't the word it is how it is said so on balance I would say it is fine. grin

I am a northerner too but not lived there for about 17 years.

minouminou Thu 16-Jul-09 12:25:53

LOL at Huw Edwards!
Wouldn't bother me in the slightest. If he was generally patronising or objectifying it'd be a prob, but he's probably not even aware he's saying it.
And sometimes older northern blokes do call each other @luv@ - I have seen it happen.

flowerybeanbag Thu 16-Jul-09 12:26:48

Wouldn't bother me at all. I don't think it sounds condescending or patronising providing the person is otherwise polite.

Greensleeves Thu 16-Jul-09 12:27:04

I don't mind this. Can see why some people do though.

To me the essence of offence lies in intent, unless it's something really crass that needs challenging all the time.

Buda Thu 16-Jul-09 12:27:37

Wouldn't bother me either.

I think it's nice actually. Friendly.

mrsboogie Thu 16-Jul-09 12:28:35

God no, how precious. It's just a colloquialism. any bothered by it needs to get over themselves.

RealityIsGettingMarried Thu 16-Jul-09 12:29:01

Message withdrawn

diedandgonetodevon Thu 16-Jul-09 12:30:34

He would get an imperious 'I am not your love' from me and sent on his way I'm afraid. Personally I cannot bear over familiarity from anyone and certainly not from tradesmen.

minxofmancunia Thu 16-Jul-09 12:30:36

have no problem with it, but then I grew up where everyone was a "duck" grin

imaynotbeperfectbutimokmummy Thu 16-Jul-09 12:31:16

lmao at the thought of me being a snob!

It does make me cringe, but as i say, he is a lovely guy and he would get away with it with me. But he has had problems with it and i just wondered what the general consensus was.

I will now of course tell DP to tell his friend to carry on as he was and that mumsnet said it was ok grin

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