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to consider relocating the entire family from the country to the middle of town?

(15 Posts)
QBEE Tue 14-Jul-09 20:16:41

I have a degenerative eye condition which has seen me go from a confident driver to a non driving virtual recluse in just over a year.
We live in a rural area, the nearest shop is about 1 1/2 hours walking distance with the kids in tow and has limited stock.
I am ashamed to say I am suffering from ridiculous mood swings, cold sweats in sainsburys and have gained weight.
I feel totally isolated. BUT my eldest two are settled in the local school (which is still a drive away from our house anyway) my dh is at work alot of the time and as he is a driver does not relish the thought of driving me about when he has time off which means I mostly only get to food shopping.

I've rambled, sorry. My point is I would like to leave our lovely big ish house with gardens and rent a small terrace in the city centre for the next six months to see if I can claw back some normality for myself. I feel so selfish even suggesting it and my dh isnt keen on the idea. The kids would still have to attend the school here so would have to get up earlier and my dh would have to take them. The dog would have to stay with our neighbour as not allowed in rented and our house would be empty for the period we were gone plus we would have to pay the mortgage and the rent on new place.I would though be able to resume a paid job as would be near family.

When I write it all down , it looks like I am being selfish and irresponsible but I am in tears most days.

ReneRusso Tue 14-Jul-09 20:26:30

shock OMG you are not being selfish, I think moving to the town is a great idea. What do you do all day if get you can't out? What does your DH expect you to do with yourself? YANBU

branflake81 Tue 14-Jul-09 20:29:37


I have never understood why on earth anyone would want to live in the countryside and have to drive everywhere anyway.

fircone Tue 14-Jul-09 20:33:05

I'll join you. I hate living in the sticks.

rupertsabear Tue 14-Jul-09 20:39:09

gosh, not not not unreasonable. Poor you to feel like that. Does your dh understand how hard it is for you?

Or, any chance you could spend the money on some kind of driver arrangement instead?

LovelyTinOfSpam Tue 14-Jul-09 20:41:25

YANBU living within walking distance from shops is essential, the idea of having to drive everywhere gives me the heeby jeebies.

Have you discussed with DH and DC (if they are old enough), what do they all say?

TBH I don't think you're BU, going back to work would also help your self esteem etc. You are all important in the family and if anyone else was having these problems you'd do it for them, wouldn't you. No-one actually missing out apart from a bit earlier start and DH doing a bit more.

whelk Tue 14-Jul-09 20:58:23

Im so sorry to hear about your condition. It must be a huge change for you and I think the whole family needs to think about the future. I think YANBU at all in your suggestion. In fact it sounds very sensible.

moomaa Tue 14-Jul-09 22:20:48

YA so NBU, You being happier will be a happier family. Living in town is fab too!

QBEE Tue 14-Jul-09 22:23:25

Thanks all for your replies. I'm going to go ahead and make some changes. I have been on the phone to my mother this evening and she said she will come down to help me pack some essentials up with a view to move at the start of august. Dh is on board for a trial period and the kids will benefit from me being able to take them out places in the summer holidays at the very least. At the minute I don't do much through the day. Chilrden and housework are my life. I can't see the tv clearly anymore and I have to magnify the computer text so large that it takes an age to read anything what with all the scrolling across then down and the time it takes to type.
I just hope it works out.

violethill Tue 14-Jul-09 22:24:02

It will be absolutely the right thing for the children. They'll love being in town!

LovelyTinOfSpam Tue 14-Jul-09 22:39:52

I really do think you are doing the right thing. You will be able to do stuff with the kids and get some independence back for yourself. What's not to like!

Good luck smile

moomaa Tue 14-Jul-09 22:41:26

Good for you for doing something about the problem.

Horton Tue 14-Jul-09 23:07:41

Very good luck to you, QBEE. I think you are doing exactly the right thing. If your eyesight deteriorates further (I don't know what's wrong so apologies if that is not going to be the case) it will be much better for you to be somewhere where you can have an independent life that isn't dependent on driving, much better for your DH not to have to drive you about and much better for your kids as they get older to be able to do things without relying on someone ferrying them about. Plus it will be very helpful to be near family. And if your eyesight remains stable then really all the above still applies. It would be crazy not to try it out now since it seems you can afford it.

I wish you the best of luck with the move and sorting it all out. You sound very sensible, FWIW. And I hope your eyesight remains stable.

Nekabu Wed 15-Jul-09 06:33:10

YANBU but why don't you find rented accommodation that will take your dog? Not all rental accommodation has a no pets policy.

Good luck with it all and I hope your condition remains stable.

MoChan Wed 15-Jul-09 06:56:52

So glad to hear that you are making plans. You're in such a difficult situation, you need to think about yourself as well as everyone else. Good Luck.

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