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to be fed up that DH doesn't make a fuss of me on my birthday?

(10 Posts)
beonit Tue 14-Jul-09 19:19:00

So, it's my birthday today, and my nose is feeling very out of joint as I feel DH has barely acknowledged the day. He managed a card this morning - fished out of a drawer full of emergency cards we keep upstairs, and, to be fair, he wants to buy me a specific (expensive) present that I've been intending to get for a while, but haven't had time to look for it properly.

But TBH it's not about presents - I wouldn't care if he had just bought me a book or a bunch of flowers. What I really want from him is some affection - a nice cuddle in bed, an offer to get DD up so I can have a few minutes more in bed, a genuine interest in the question of what I might have been up to today. I just feel really flat - my family and my best friend have bothered to ring me to wish me happy birthday and have a chat, but I feel like I'm not getting anything from him at all (and again, I'm not talking presents here...) Right now he's upstairs listening to music or something while I watch the news down here. I feel miserable.

I also feel a bit pathetic - seems a bit childish to really care about birthdays. Isn't it just another day?

So, hit me with it. Am I being unreasonable?!

JohnDory Tue 14-Jul-09 19:20:54

I got an emergency card this year after many a great birtdhay

words were had

allaboutme Tue 14-Jul-09 19:21:25

have you had dinner yet?
go up and with a smile on your face ask him what he's got planned for yor birthday dinner?
if he hasnt got anything planned, then suggest he arranges a dinner out for the two of you later in the week as a birthday treat seeing as you've not 'had time' to celebrate much today?
make him realise that you want a bit of fuss and attention!

minko Tue 14-Jul-09 19:24:00

No YANBU. Men just aren't that thoughtful sometimes though. Mine isn't anyway...

I'd have words if he's not even doing anything for this evening though. Have you had dinner? Get a takeaway at the very least!

minko Tue 14-Jul-09 19:25:01

x-post sorry. It's all about the food!

Seabright Tue 14-Jul-09 19:28:35

Happy Birthday. My DP regularly forgets my birthday. It is next week & I think he's forgotten again. I haven't had a present to open on my birthday (from anyone, him or family) for three years and it looks like this will be the fourth.

Like you, I just wish someone could spare me a little thought for one day.

beonit Tue 14-Jul-09 19:44:40

Thank you for not telling me I'm being a childish cow!

Things have looked up slightly. Basically I demanded take-away pizza(great minds think alike!) and he has just gone out to get it - usually something I would always do.

As he left, he said (with heavy irony) "I shall get the pizza because I love you." He knows I'm pissed off because I told him so. I don't suppose it will change anything in future, but at least I haven't completely bottled it up as I often do.

beonit Tue 14-Jul-09 19:46:30

By the way, Seabright, I do hope your DP does better than mine next week. x

karala Tue 14-Jul-09 19:50:18

Happy Birthday and have a virtual glass of champagne! You are definitely not being unreasonable - if a treat hasn't turned up this evening then suggest that you celebrate at the weekend which will give him a couple of days to get things sorted.

bedjumper Tue 14-Jul-09 19:55:03

seabright - start now and comment on how you are looking forward to your birthday and has he anything planned yet?
mention once a day how excited you are to see what he has planned and you WILL have a better birthday
If he is rubbish at organising things, YOU book a table and a babysitter and then let him pay on the night while you enjoy yourself rather than sitting at home feeling forgotten.
If you know now that he has forgotten with a week to go and you dont remind him, then you are as responsible as he is for you being miserable on the day!

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