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to want to take a present to a 6yr party

(53 Posts)
Blondeshavemorefun Tue 14-Jul-09 17:43:30

when the mum put on invites no pressies as she feels that her 6yr has enough toys/book etc

esp as her dc was at school today and after other children saying they got xyz for their birthday - she said she didnt know what she was getting from her mum and dad

and obv wont get any pressies from her party tomorrow sad

i really want to take something for her

surely 6yr is too young not to get pressies

mel1981 Tue 14-Jul-09 17:46:43

Wont she allow you to get a dvd or something instead? Or clothes? (i know not very exciting for a kid- but still a gift)

I agree, my boys have way too much stuff but if they didnt get presents they'd be so upset & probably think they have done something wrong.

IMO I think thats a bit wrong. Poor girl.

two2many Tue 14-Jul-09 17:47:53

maybe she is hinting at money only as a gift at least the child could use the money on holidays , when my ds gets party invites i put 20pound in a card , mind you his friends are older 10-11 yrs old ,
it is a bit strange for her to write that on the invitations though hmm

andiem Tue 14-Jul-09 17:50:54

I think you need to respect her wishes dh and I have decided to do this next year for ds1 he will be 10 he doesn't need anything else and we have stuff he hasn't even opened from xmas in the house
he gets lots of presents from family and it all just seems too excessive

bigchris Tue 14-Jul-09 17:51:35


Blondeshavemorefun Tue 14-Jul-09 18:08:28

i did say if she wanted money and then the little girl could buy a ds game etc from all her friends instead of getting lots of tat useless but nice pressies

mum said no sad

blametheparents Tue 14-Jul-09 18:12:33

Not sure a 6 yo would appreciate an Oxfam Unwrapped gift

StewieGriffinsMom Tue 14-Jul-09 18:12:59

Message withdrawn

hana Tue 14-Jul-09 18:18:00

of course its not strange, its her daughter and that's what they have decided. am sure she's getting presents from her parents/family etc. do kids really need more stuff?

and I don't get the poor girl stuff either. lots of kids that age would understand about materialism and excess. Mine did. With so many parties inviting the entire class I see it as quite a sensible approach

duckyfuzz Tue 14-Jul-09 18:21:28

YABU - if that is the request you have to accept it, like it or not. My twins were 5 last birthday and had a joint party with another set of twins in their class. We asked for 1 present from each guest rather than 4 so all the kids got 4 or 5 rather than 25, which would be 50 for each household, a week before christmas. Kids do understand and love the party as much as the presents. It is helping them understand that there's more to life than endless tat

ingles2 Tue 14-Jul-09 18:24:33

wow that's seems harsh.... surely she could have asked for books. you can never have enough books

LovelyTinOfSpam Tue 14-Jul-09 18:26:01

There was a thread on here recently from the other persepctive - the mum had posted saying she said no gifts but people brought them and she was not happy.

The responses were very mixed - will try and find it for you smile

LovelyTinOfSpam Tue 14-Jul-09 18:28:17

here it is

Not sure what i would do in your position TBH. Would feel a bit odd not taking anything, but if that's what they want...

megapixels Tue 14-Jul-09 18:38:52

YABU, I wouldn't take anything if the mum had specifically said no presents. My kids for instance just aren't very interested in presents, sometimes they wouldn't even bother to unwrap them until I've prodded them to do so. Sometimes they'll be really interested for about 30 seconds and will not look at it again ever. They have very few things that they use over and over. It's me who has to deal with the guilt of perfectly nice presents going waste because it's just thrown in a corner and never looked at until I charity bag it eventually. So I would be really annoyed if someone gives a pressie when I've asked not to.

TsarChasm Tue 14-Jul-09 18:44:46

YANBU..I said it on the other thread and I'll say it again...deep sighhmm at 'no presents' on invitations. I bet that wasn't the birthday girl's idea.

MIAonline Tue 14-Jul-09 18:47:39

YABU (but only a bit!)

I would feel bad about not taking a present, but the parents are actually in the right and deserve their wishes to be respected. On the whole, children do have too much, we are always banging on about it, yet feel bad instinctively when someone tries to do something about it like this.

As a guest though, it just feels like bad manners so YANBU to feel bad about it.

Not used to sitting on the fence on AIBU grin

SerendipitousHarlot Tue 14-Jul-09 18:47:53

I don't think it's reasonable to go completely against her mothers wishes. I would be really pissed off if someone did that to me.

Children dont have to have presents, and don't have to have parties every year. They do have too much, as much as we love spoiling them, and it doesn't do any harm to let them go without sometimes.

It's not presents they want, it's the time. And she'll get that at the party - I bet she doesn't even notice about the presents.

God I sound pompous, sorry.

lockets Tue 14-Jul-09 18:48:27

Message withdrawn

TwoHot Tue 14-Jul-09 18:49:37

You could include an invitation in the card to go to the cinema with your dd, some time in the holidays. Present but not a present

TwoHot Tue 14-Jul-09 18:50:07

great minds

mummyplonk Tue 14-Jul-09 18:54:35

Or maybe adopt a Penguin or something similar, u can do all sorts now, buy a plott of Rainforest etc, that couldnt possibly cause any resentment I would think (hope)

sweetfall Tue 14-Jul-09 18:56:34

take a present

poor 6 year old

take a present

stupid parent

take a present

SerendipitousHarlot Tue 14-Jul-09 19:15:40

Why is the child 'poor'? Why are the parents stupid? She's having a party!

PeachyTheRiverParrettHarlot Tue 14-Jul-09 19:20:22

how can a child have enough books?

love lockets idea, or alternatively either book token (how could anyone not appreciate that?) or home made item (scrapbook set or photoframe type thing)

mine'd all love adopt a puppy (dogs trust)/ donkey / penguin / polar bear type thing- another great idea

StewieGriffinsMom Tue 14-Jul-09 19:20:45

Message withdrawn

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