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dreams about DCs dying - am I fucked up?

(19 Posts)
feckedupintheheadmummy Mon 13-Jul-09 22:50:00

Posted this in AIBU as thought I might get more replies and have namechanged.

I have had two dreams now about 2 of my 3 DCs dying. First one about DD 4 years ago - I was sitting in the lounge at my parents old house (they moved long before my dream), knew that she was dead but not how hmm and for some reason blamed my mum who was upstairs hmm. That was all I could remember in the morning and it has fecked me up to this day in that I don't like DD staying with my mum. My mum and I have a very good relationship and I adore her, if DD had met with an accident while she was with her, I have no idea why I would blame her - vvv wierd.

Second one was on Sat about DS, I was again sitting in someone's house (do not recognise the house) and my parents were there (Dad and Mum), I could see the street from the front window and I saw my DS fall from the 1st floor window of a building in front of the house onto his head, I screamed and ran outside and picked him up, his face was grey and his body was convulsing (no blood).

This has totally terrified me and I feel very wierd about it. I do not think they are premonitions although I used to think that about DD but so much time has passed I had got over it. The last one has definitely done my head though. So am I in need of urgent phychiatric (can't spell) care or does this happen to other mothers(can't talk about it real life, worried people will think I'm a nutter)??

feckedupintheheadmummy Mon 13-Jul-09 22:51:54

Oh forgot to say that I very rarely have dreams that I remember in the morning and did not have any particular worries about either DC when I had these dreams.

LaurieFairyCake Mon 13-Jul-09 22:52:55

No, it's perfectly normal smile

<strokes feckedup>

Dreams can possibly mean many different things, at the moment it could mean you are anxious.

Do you have underlying anxiety?

I always dream dreadful dreams when things are going well - it's part of my brain acting out catastrophes to prepare me for life not always being great. grin

Claire2009 Mon 13-Jul-09 22:55:19

I don't think you're a nutter.

I've had 2 ongoing nightmares about dc's dying.

1- Crossing the road, zebra crossing with Dd, car doesn't stop and I seeher fly through the air and hit the ground dead.

2- Ds, on the beach, crawling, 5mths old hmm my dad was looking after him, I turn around and dad is there but no Ds, I ask dad where he is and dad says shit, and runs to find him, in the sea, drowned.

They are truly awful, I dont know what causes them but I sure am glad I'm not alone...

mrstimberlake Mon 13-Jul-09 22:55:22

i also have had dreams a couple of times about my oldest falling into a lake and i dive in after him but the water is to dirty and i cant see him then i wake up
its horrible to dream about things like this and really disturbing, but i think its just cause they are growing up and we worry about them. i wouldnt worry to much.smile

feckedupintheheadmummy Mon 13-Jul-09 22:56:27

Thank you Laurie {breathes a massive sigh of relief}. I do get anxious sometimes but not massively so.

feckedupintheheadmummy Mon 13-Jul-09 22:59:51

Thanks for your replies Ladies, am almost in tears of relief. The last dream is still so vivid and bloody terrifying. Had to wake DS up and give him a massive hug on Sunday morning [5am - he was not impressed].

LaurieFairyCake Mon 13-Jul-09 23:04:41

I had a dream last night that dd peed in her bed and we lived in a 3-storey town house and the pee ran all through the house ruining everything.

And I slapped her.

I have no desire in real life to slap her nor do I have any animosity towards her at the moment but I still remember the enormous crack of me slapping her in my dream.

So vivid I almost wanted to apologise to her this morning grin

shabster Mon 13-Jul-09 23:05:38

In my opinion they are 'anxiety' dreams - I always used to dream that a man came to my door with a baby in his arms - he handed me the baby and asked me to look after it because he didnt want it. Within minutes my two DS's had been snatched by this man and he had turned into a vampire hmm I knew I couldnt get them back. Have also dreamt quite often about my sons and water - I think its when I have been anxious about other things but then in my dreams have realised that my children are my whole World.

I dont think you need mental health help - I think you are a caring, loving mum who gets anxious like we all do.

ElfOnTheTopShelf Mon 13-Jul-09 23:07:44

When DD was born, we came out of hospital and I remember going to bed (she was in the moses basket) and DH was downstairs. I used to have a scene in my head where I'd throw her down the stairs. It was horrible, I'd get a sweat on and have to check she was still in her moses basket. I didn't want to throw her down the stairs, but would panic that I would do.

I think I was panicking that I'd drop her or fall down the stairs whilst carrying her (with her being such precious cargo) but it manifested in my head that way!

mrstimberlake Mon 13-Jul-09 23:09:59

also dreamt i had a baby and forgot i had him and left him in the hospitalhmmwhen i went back he had goneshock

treedelivery Mon 13-Jul-09 23:15:38

I've had dreams so vivid, that when I wake up I have a 10 second sob as I am there. It's real.

I dream the dd has died, and we have buried her. I choose the coffin, the flowers, the funeral tea, everything. All the tiny details.

Awful. You have my sympathy. Have some warm milk and read yourself to sleep or listen to some relaxing music or something.

<<strokes head and sings gentle lullaby>>

btw - I knew pnd had bitten my arse big style when I started sort of day dreaming this stuff whilst wide awake. So it's totally normal, but shouldn't encroach on your day light hours. Imo. So I totally relate to Elf on the stairs thing. Bonkers how our anxiety fatique has to get out, it has to express itself. Like a blow off valve I guess.

treedelivery Mon 13-Jul-09 23:17:26

Ooo Elf - that is to say my daydreams meant I was pnd'd - not you! Sorry, that read the wrong way blush

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ElfOnTheTopShelf Mon 13-Jul-09 23:25:31

I did wonder if I had PND at the time! It would just go around and around in my head. And it used to wind me up because DH would pick DD up and be comfortable going quite fast up and down the stairs. I dont think I carried her up/down the stairs for six weeks til he went back to work blush.

When I was about 15 I had a dream that my family was on holiday and gunmen burst through the doors and shot at my family. I threw myself over my cousin who was very young at the time, and one of my sisters to protect them - it was horrible. I'd wake up terrified and in a cold sweat.

MollieO Mon 13-Jul-09 23:28:10

When ds was younger I used to wake up in the middle of the night every night thinking I had smothered him in my bed. H

e was always either in his crib next to my bed or, when he was older, in his cot in his bedroom. I had to get up, put the light on and physically check, actually getting out of bed even though I could see the crib and ds from my bed. Every single night for about the 18 months. I would always wake up sobbing and it took ages to get back to sleep, if I actually managed to which often I didn't.

treedelivery Tue 14-Jul-09 00:02:16

Sounds awful MollieO sad

I bet there is nothing any one has had alone. I bet no matter what was posted, someone somewhere would have same/similar experience.

Joy of t'interweb, we can share now, and not feel so alone with this stuff.

Great thread feckedupintheheadmummy - turns out we all are we are standard issue knackered mums.

Thanks for starting it, I know it's not why you started the thread, but I feel better! smile

MissSunny Tue 14-Jul-09 00:08:43

Message withdrawn

pjmama Tue 14-Jul-09 09:14:25

I have this kind of thing when I'm awake, its really disturbing but you can't really talk about it can you? We'll be out and about doing normal things like crossing the road and I'll suddenly get a flash of dc being hit by a car, or they'll be waving out of the window and I'll see one of them falling out. Just for a second and then I shake myself out of it. It's upsetting though, I don't know where it comes from. I just assume I'm overprotective and probably a bit paranoid!

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