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to think I will always love ex DH/W as the father/mother of my children is a strange thing to say???

(19 Posts)
LoveBeingAMummy Mon 13-Jul-09 10:01:49

I just don't get it, why would you love someone as the father/mother of your children? I just don't understand this phrase, surely it really means that you still love them but for whatever reason aren't with them so why not just say that?

LadyOfWaffle Mon 13-Jul-09 10:02:58

you can love people in different ways

ginnny Mon 13-Jul-09 10:07:21

I don't know if its 'love' as such but there is a bond between myself and ex, simply because the dc are ours and we both love for them.
Also, no matter what happened between us I will never regret it as I wouldn't have my 2 lovely boys if we'd never got together.

ginnny Mon 13-Jul-09 10:08:22

* we both love them!

MissSunny Mon 13-Jul-09 10:10:15

Message withdrawn

SoupDragon Mon 13-Jul-09 10:11:40

It's a load of b*llocks IMO.

MrsMichaelSchofield Mon 13-Jul-09 10:15:58

Agree with soupdragon grin. Nonsense rehearsed type comment aimed to look good in media

SoupDragon Mon 13-Jul-09 10:17:56

To look good in media and to try to distract from any guilt felt as a result of having been a twat.

LoveBeingAMummy Mon 13-Jul-09 16:25:09

But its not just famous people who say it. I understand the bond thing and as ginnny said the fact that you can't regret being together if you have some lovely DCs out of it.

sausagetits Mon 13-Jul-09 16:27:17

This is exactly what I told my DD when ExDH and I split when she was 4. I told her that a bit of me will always love her Daddy because he gave me her.

What exactly is wrong with that, perchance? grin

Scorps Mon 13-Jul-09 16:28:19


Odd thing to say IMO

ChasingSquirrels Mon 13-Jul-09 16:35:46

I, being separated from my children's father, can totally understand it. And I think he (who initiated the split) would also agree.

sleeplessinstretford Mon 13-Jul-09 16:41:26

i on the other hand will always think the father of my first dd is a complete prick-hence the reason we don't want to be together and haven't since the day she was born

Hassled Mon 13-Jul-09 16:46:47

What ginnny said - I wouldn't call it "love", but Ex-DH is the only person in the world who loves DS1 and DD in the way I do - we share that parental love, and that's a huge bond.

BalloonSlayer Mon 13-Jul-09 16:47:09

My Mum (who is divorced, twice, BTW) often rails about the celeb couples with small children who split yet say they "will stay friends."

She thinks that if you are able to stay friends, then you should be able to stay married for the sake of the children, at least until they are older. She says there is no way she could have stayed friends with either of her exes, which is why she divorced them.


Not my opinion, so don't flame me grin.

Fairynufff Mon 13-Jul-09 16:49:36

If this is a reference to Katie Price then everything that comes out of that woman's mouth is a total reaction. To paraphrase: 'I've had a terrible 8 weeks but I wouldn't be surprised if I'm married again next year...' Yes because 8 weeks is all it takes to get completely over a divorce to the 'love of your life' isn't it????

It's an insult to anyone who has ever gone through the pain of divorce (either amicably or not) but it's also a message to Peter Andre that a window is still open.

Run for the hills Peter...and for that matter any other male stupid enough to fall for the nutjob.

TrillianAstra Mon 13-Jul-09 16:53:26

OP: Not the way I would word it, but it seems a good and positive sentiment.

BalloonSlayer's Mum: I for one have friends with whom it would be very difficult to remain friends if I had to live with them. This is entirely separate to any romantic relationship or child-rearing issues. So there are plenty of occassions when 'will stay friends' is dependent on the splitting up. Otherwise it would turn into 'can't stand the sight of each other', whihc would be much worse.

Plus I don't believe in staying together for the sake of the children, even if you wouldn't be fighting lots. Separate and find someone you really want to be with, you'd be setting the children a better example of what a relationship should be like.

BalloonSlayer Mon 13-Jul-09 16:57:38

I think she meant that she got divorced both from my Dad and my Step-Dad because, and only when she couldn't stand the sight of them.

She certainly had a cordial enough relationship with them after splitting as the tension was gone.

I kind of get what she meant - apparently, there is only one ground for divorce, that the marriage has broken down irretrievably. Thus, she would feel that if you feel at the moment of splitting up, that you have a grain of friendship left in the relationship, then it has not broken down irretrievably.

independiente Mon 13-Jul-09 22:00:39

If you want to divorce someone, no, you generally don't love them anymore. If you have children with them, I can imagine in many instances, that some part of you 'honours' the memory of the happier times that made them.

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