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If you're not coming tell the flippin truth

(18 Posts)
junglist1 Sun 12-Jul-09 11:00:07

Had a Body Shop party Friday, 3 people let me down, who were meant to be good mates. No call, ignored my phone call, nothing. The next day one of them sent me a text chatting about no credit to call me (lies) and how her man has treated her badly all week, trying to turn my anger into sympathy (they have been arguing yes, but it's not abusive). Am I being unreasonable to dump the snake, especially as she only rings when she wants something?

famishedass Sun 12-Jul-09 11:11:07

It's annoying I know.

Don't bother dumping your friend. On a couple of occasions when two of my friends started to turn into the "only ring when they want something" type - I actually said to them when they rang "oh, what is it you want this this time" in a joking manner. They soon stopped doing it.

Are you sure you don't only ring them when you have a body shop party though? Coz one of my friends was like this. In fact I got so fed up of it that one time when she rang I said "what you selling now" before she had a chance to say anything blush and she said "how do you know I'm selling something"

junglist1 Sun 12-Jul-09 11:11:38

Well Junglist, I think you sound too good for her and you should get rid

SoWhat Sun 12-Jul-09 11:13:28


junglist1 Sun 12-Jul-09 11:14:22

i used to call her quite a bit just to chat, until I clocked on. It was the way she asked for things, like having a conversation first pretending to be all interested in the kids etc, and then hitting me with it. Her tone would change, oozing sneakiness. I told my P at 6 oclock I knew she had no intention of coming, and I was right.

famishedass Sun 12-Jul-09 11:18:45

Oh God it so reminds me a an "ex-"friend of my mine. Starting the conversation all sweetness and light and then honing in for the kill.

Still, don't dump her in the sense of telling her "I'm not ring you anymore because you never ring me" - just don't ring her anymore.

Life's too short for toxic friends.

junglist1 Sun 12-Jul-09 11:21:27

I think that's the way to go, leave her wondering. Her P and my P are mates though, but she'll know the reason herself. Stupid cow trying to hoodwink me with sob stories

ineedalifelaundry Sun 12-Jul-09 11:23:32

Sounds to me like you've already made up your mind to dump her! I hate that change of tone thing - when someone phones and is all like "How are you, what you been up to?" Then just when you're starting to relax into a nice chat they say "Well, the reason I'm ringing is ..." And you're thinking, hang about, I thought you were ringing to say hello? My brother always does this angry

famishedass Sun 12-Jul-09 11:23:37

I know, it's like they're insulting your intelligence. Like they think you're a bit thick. It's maddening, but really,. just be better than them and rise above it.

junglist1 Sun 12-Jul-09 11:26:52

She only has one friend, now I can see why. Maybe she's a one friend type person, and should stick with that. That's what I want to text her but am typing it on here instead

TheChilliMooseHasGreenFingers Sun 12-Jul-09 11:28:24

Life is far too short for parasitic friends. Dump them and forget about them.

Hassled Sun 12-Jul-09 11:39:45

If she only rings when she wants something then yes, dump her.

If you're only really angry about the Body Shop party though, cut her some slack. I get invited to so many of these Body Shop/Virgin Vie/Book-sale "parties" that I would be absolutely skint if I went to them all. I just don't go to any now as it feels relentless - but I do give my apologies.

junglist1 Sun 12-Jul-09 11:43:08

It's the rudeness of not calling, yes. One mate had the best of reasons for not coming, one woman I hardly know had the decency to text me. And a few came for the piss up without buying, cos I told them come anyway, the company was the main thing, not the freebies. If I had money to lend her that night she would have came like a shot.

SOLOisMeredithGrey Sun 12-Jul-09 12:15:12

A friend in need is a friend indeed.

I'm sure we've all done it at some time or other, though maybe only now and again. She could've let you know she wasn't going though.

paisleyleaf Sun 12-Jul-09 12:53:34

I don't like these parties
and I think the friendship ettiquette goes a bit up-in-the-air when one of you is trying to sell stuff to the other.
Saying that though, it would've been manners to let you know she wasn't coming.

ihavenosecrets Sun 12-Jul-09 13:09:48


StealthPolarBear Sun 12-Jul-09 13:29:28

how strange!

junglist1 Sun 12-Jul-09 16:04:16

The amount of debt I've had to write off from her by rights she should have bought the whole frickin range!!!

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