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to be a bit miffed at what my friend's daughter repeated to me?

(24 Posts)
onthepier Sat 11-Jul-09 23:08:36

My friend hasn't been well these last few days, she's got a rotten cold which she says is flu-like, so she's been off work.

Anyway, saw her this morning, she only lives a few doors down from us and was saying she feels guilty about her kids as they're stuck in on a lovely sunny day, she hasn't got the energy to go anywhere.

I mentioned that I was taking my two to the park later, and did she want me to take hers too. She instantly said yes, and was really grateful. Anyway, my dd said she was going to text her friend later, (this lady's daughter) to ask if she could bring along her pogo stick. I said if she was texting her, she may as well ask if her mum wants anything from the shop as I'm going myself before I collect her children, (it's 15 min. walk away). Got a text back saying "No thank you".

Anyway, once we got to the park my friend's dd said, "Oh my mum just couldn't stop laughing when she got that text asking if she wanted anything. She said (high pitched), Oh aren't they sweet over there, bless them!"hmm

I may be being oversensitive, but thought it was the natural thing to offer, I won't next time if I'm being laughed at!hmm

lockets Sat 11-Jul-09 23:10:56

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stubbyfingers Sat 11-Jul-09 23:12:02

It sounds as if she thought you were being nice really, and perhaps pleasantly surprised that someone was offering help? Some people aren't used to being offered help smile

2shoes Sat 11-Jul-09 23:12:59

sory i think yabu(but I can understand why)

minko Sat 11-Jul-09 23:17:35

She can't be that ill if she couldn't stop laughing.

I'd be miffed too... maybe IABU as well...

Wanderingsheep Sat 11-Jul-09 23:17:38

I don't think she was laughing at you. It's hard for me to explain how I think the laugh would have been like, but I think it would have been in a nice "oh isn't my neighbour lovely!" sort of way.

TheTeaThings Sat 11-Jul-09 23:18:25

well I wouldn't expect to hear that my offer to help was met with laughter.

a bit odd I agree hmm

still it wouldn't put me off offering because it's the right way to be smile

Wanderingsheep Sat 11-Jul-09 23:19:12

Although, I don't know your friend, obviously, So don't know anything about her character.

jardy Sat 11-Jul-09 23:21:19

don`t worry,it sounds a nice thing to say about you.You are obviously lovely.

motherlovebone Sat 11-Jul-09 23:22:12

its just hear say, could have been a small chuckle.

hmc Sat 11-Jul-09 23:23:14

I think the mum meant that remark genuinely.

lockets Sat 11-Jul-09 23:24:51

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piscesmoon Sat 11-Jul-09 23:34:46

I don't see anything wrong with it-I would say that she likes the fact that you are always helpful.

hmc Sat 11-Jul-09 23:35:35

Yes - laughing in a kind of fond way, not a dismissive way...

ConnieComplaint Sat 11-Jul-09 23:46:32

She was probably tickled that you asked! I know I would be You sound like the kind of neighbour we all need.

NotPlayingAnyMore Sun 12-Jul-09 00:35:00

I think she was laughing in a surprised kind of way - it may be natural of you to offer but friends like you are few and far between. Her DD probably just wanted you to know how much it was appreciated

Qally Sun 12-Jul-09 01:26:14

I dunno, if she was mocking then she is an ungrateful cow, yes, but my neighbour, now a good friend, put a "get well soon" card through the door when we all had the lurgy, and she'd fetch anything for us as well. I love her to bits. I'd be mortified if my ds repeated that in a few years in a way that sounded anything other than totally sincere.

screamingabdab Sun 12-Jul-09 07:43:06

I don't think you should jump to any conclusions, myself. You only heard this second-hand from the DD. Depending on her age, she may not have got the nuances of what was said, or she may, even be lying a little bit (?)

Unless you have any other evidence that you friend is not as grateful as she should be, then I would ignore

onthepier Mon 13-Jul-09 08:37:00

Thanks for your posts, I suppose I could be being a little oversensitive, but something's telling me I prob shouldn't go out of my way to often for her!

squeaver Mon 13-Jul-09 09:02:31

If I've read your op right...

I think the reason she was laughing was probably because the text came from your dd, not you.

saintmaybe Mon 13-Jul-09 09:39:02

and you didn't even hear her say it/ laugh

You only have her dd's interpretation/ mimicking her mum

I dread to think how my dcs descrbe what I say about things; it's not meant badly, or dishonestly but I know their imaginations take hold and they make half of it up as they go along. If her mum had a big, overwhelmed reaction to your kindness when she was unwell it might have made a big impression on the dd and she wanted to tell you but didn't know how.

I really don't think you can take anything from this, truly

AintMisbehaving Mon 13-Jul-09 10:00:06

One of the biggest lessons I learnt about being a parent is the need to 'chill' a little and not get stressed about things like this. I have felt the same way - the last time was a few days ago when a Mum suddenly 'remembered' me when they needed £1 for their child at school - they had forgotten. She litteraly grabbed the coin from my hand.

...You might have got it wrong or right, but what is more important is (a) your protecting your mental state from these 'disappointments' and (b) you bring up your child the way you think you should.

Chances are your child will be experiancing the same feelings at school !

If you change your nice outlook, ulminately your child with react the same way as you. In the long run your better off being your nice self and bring up a nice child

VietnameseCobbler Mon 13-Jul-09 10:01:54

god you need to chill

HuffwardlyRudge Mon 13-Jul-09 10:10:09

One second hand remark taken out of context via a child? Yup, YABU to read anything in to it. There are so many scenarios it could have been a part of...

... how about the mum is having the worst day in the world, feeling like shite, pressure to go back to work, the boiler is on the blink, the cat has thrown up in the sitting room, the dvd player is full of cat hair, the children are sniping at each other, her husband phones to say he won't be home until 10, her mother phones to remind her that long lost cousin Sue is coming for tea tomorrow to discuss her CV, there's no change for the milkman, she's just knocked a packet of sugar onto the kitchen floor and there are no cloths in the kitchen... and she gets a text to say "do you need anything?". Then the laugh could have been manic hysteria, as if a pint of milk from the corner shop could fix everything. And then she feels a bit better because at least you are on her side and offering to help out, "aren't you sweet".

How's that?

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