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AIBU?

to think this donatation is a bit much?

44 replies

crazylizzy · 11/07/2009 13:14

DC goes to pre-school, the academic year is finishing next week. Had a letter off the other mums this week saying a few of them have agreed to go a collection and buy a little something for each member of staff.

They are asking for a donation of £20 from each parent. Of what I could see, all the other mums have already payed up.

I am going to pay, because the staff are good to be fair but mainly I don't want to be the only one seeming like a tight arse who doesn't take part in this arranged collection.

We are incredibly tight for money as a family, we barely remain afloat each week so £20 really is a lot of money for us

AIBU to think its quite a lot to ask for a donation?

OP posts:

Report

KIMItheThreadSlayer · 11/07/2009 13:17

£20 is a lot to ask IMO.

I have been doing a collection for DS2s teacher and the norm is £5, and its only if the parent wants to.

nickschick · 11/07/2009 13:17

Just say you are sorry but you have already arranged your gift and give them flowers or chocs -20 quid is excessive imo.

Lulumama · 11/07/2009 13:18

way, way too much! at our pre school we have been asked by one of the mums, if we would like to donate £5 each for a present for the 3 teachers. don;t feel obliged to give it .

Thunderduck · 11/07/2009 13:18

YANBU. I wouldn't pay £20, it's excessive. £5 is more reasonable, or whatever everyone cares to throw in.

TheDarkPhoenix · 11/07/2009 13:21

Bliddy hell, that's lots. There is no way i would have £20 to give to a kitty right now. Seems like loads. Who agrees that? Must be a well off mum because that seems very steep. Perhaps if you speak up others will too. Maybe the people who agreed it just didn't know how much to suggest and went for more so as not to be embarrassed iykwim? Might just take one person to say it's too much.

Tee2072 · 11/07/2009 13:24

Is that £20 each for one member of staff? Or is it more than one member of staff?

If its £20 each for one member of staff, that's outrageous. If its for, say, 5 or 6 members of staff to be shared out, that's no different, really, than lulumama's £5 each for 3 members of staff!

paisleyleaf · 11/07/2009 13:51

I thought the whole point in doing a collection is to avoid having to spend £20

sherazade · 11/07/2009 13:59

I hate being bullied into paying anything I havne't agreed to and seen as though we're constantly skint i;ve learnt to say no. otherwise people take the piss. YANBU

bluejeans · 11/07/2009 14:05

YANBU! £20 is too much. I usually spend £5 on DD'S teacher but she had two teachers this year so spent a bit less than that for each. They get loads anyway...

Someone at work organised a collection for a colleague who'd had a baby and wanted £20 each to buy a highchair! I thought it was too much and didn't pay (bought my own gift)but it was a bit awkward. My sis had a baby at the same time anbd got the whole high chair for under £20 at ikea...

LisaD1 · 11/07/2009 14:05

Blimey! That's a LOT to ask per parent. My DD1 goes to a private school (her grandad pays the fees thank god!) but even there they were asking £10 per child to be split between the 2 year teachers. There's no way I would chip in £20, I don't even spend that on my nieces/nephews for birthdays!

YANBU!

qwertpoiuy · 11/07/2009 14:07

That is outrageous. IN Ireland, the most we give to these collections is about e10 (about £7). And it's entirely voluntary. There's no shame in telling the leader of this collection you don't have £20 to spare, unless she's distanced herself from reality and really doesn't know what's going on in this country.

cat64 · 11/07/2009 14:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

screamingabdab · 11/07/2009 14:20

That is a ridiculous amount. I can't believe they've got the gall to ask you to contribute that much.

YANBU

SouthMum · 11/07/2009 14:21

Hell no!! £20 is a hell of alot of money, I don't spend that much on some of my family members!

I'd just tell them you have already bought a little something and buy a tin of Roses for them all to share out and a nice thankyou card.

Carrotfly · 11/07/2009 14:26

Too much. Far too much.

I did the collection for my sons teacher this year. He is at a private school and most of the class put in £10.

If all the parents had done this there would have been £150 !

However 4 of the parents didnt contribute anything. I didnt push them to donate, and I'm not bearing grudges , but I did get all the boys to sign the card, regardless of whether their parents paid anything.

Tell the mum you have already sorted something out, and thank her for offering anyway !

gorionine · 11/07/2009 14:33

Yanbu, as much as I like the staff in my DCs school this is an amount of money would nor=t be prpared to pay. £20 per pupil would amount to £560.- just for DD1's class what are they intending to buy?????? it is more than we payed for a family of 6 for 10 days in Tunisia in a posh hotel!!!!

MissSunny · 11/07/2009 14:34

Message withdrawn

gorionine · 11/07/2009 14:35

I should have said per parent, not pupil as I do not assume people whith e dcs in same class would pay £40!

dietstartstomorrow · 11/07/2009 14:40

Far too much.

Im just getting cards this year.

dilemma456 · 11/07/2009 17:07

Message withdrawn

crazylizzy · 11/07/2009 17:20

Thank you everyone for your feedback. I wasn't sure if this was the "going rate" these days! Glad it's not just me who thinks it's a bit steep.

I personally thing an open collection is far better than asking parents for a set amount, I just think it's a bit

OP posts:

zeke · 11/07/2009 17:22

That is ridiculous! £20 is way too much to suggest. Fine, if you wanted to donate that much or gift a gift of that value or more....but to suggest it?! I would have thought that £5 - £10 would have been reasonable.

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weblette · 11/07/2009 17:24

YANBU. Things like that should ALWAYS be voluntary - pay if you want, pay what you can afford.

In dd's class we've agreed to all chip in £35 at the start of each school year.

That pays for everything - Christmas presents, leaving presents for staff and children if they go, new baby presents, end of year stuff.

Anything that's left over goes towards food for an end-of-term barbecue.

lou031205 · 11/07/2009 17:35

The figures are ridiculous. Even if there were only 20 children, and 8 teachers, that means a £50 present each!

gingernutlover · 11/07/2009 17:51

i agree

whats wrong with £2 each and if everyone donated then all the teachers could have a bunch of flowers or a box of chocolates, would be plenty surely.

Last christmas i got each of dd's room ladies a nice card and a net of chcolate cins, dd chose them and we wrtote a nice message in the card, they seemed pleased and it didnt break the bank.

so no YANBU

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