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to think this donatation is a bit much?

(45 Posts)
crazylizzy Sat 11-Jul-09 13:14:36

DC goes to pre-school, the academic year is finishing next week. Had a letter off the other mums this week saying a few of them have agreed to go a collection and buy a little something for each member of staff.

They are asking for a donation of £20 from each parent. Of what I could see, all the other mums have already payed up.

I am going to pay, because the staff are good to be fair but mainly I don't want to be the only one seeming like a tight arse who doesn't take part in this arranged collection.

We are incredibly tight for money as a family, we barely remain afloat each week so £20 really is a lot of money for us sad

AIBU to think its quite a lot to ask for a donation? blush

<considers hiring DH out as a rent boy> wink

nickschick Sat 11-Jul-09 13:17:30

Just say you are sorry but you have already arranged your gift and give them flowers or chocs -20 quid is excessive imo.

KIMItheThreadSlayer Sat 11-Jul-09 13:17:30

£20 is a lot to ask IMO.

I have been doing a collection for DS2s teacher and the norm is £5, and its only if the parent wants to.

Lulumama Sat 11-Jul-09 13:18:22

way, way too much! at our pre school we have been asked by one of the mums, if we would like to donate £5 each for a present for the 3 teachers. don;t feel obliged to give it .

Thunderduck Sat 11-Jul-09 13:18:50

YANBU. I wouldn't pay £20, it's excessive. £5 is more reasonable, or whatever everyone cares to throw in.

TheDarkPhoenix Sat 11-Jul-09 13:21:27

Bliddy hell, that's lots. There is no way i would have £20 to give to a kitty right now. Seems like loads. Who agrees that? Must be a well off mum because that seems very steep. Perhaps if you speak up others will too. Maybe the people who agreed it just didn't know how much to suggest and went for more so as not to be embarrassed iykwim? Might just take one person to say it's too much.

Tee2072 Sat 11-Jul-09 13:24:38

Is that £20 each for one member of staff? Or is it more than one member of staff?

If its £20 each for one member of staff, that's outrageous. If its for, say, 5 or 6 members of staff to be shared out, that's no different, really, than lulumama's £5 each for 3 members of staff!

paisleyleaf Sat 11-Jul-09 13:51:34

I thought the whole point in doing a collection is to avoid having to spend £20

sherazade Sat 11-Jul-09 13:59:12

I hate being bullied into paying anything I havne't agreed to and seen as though we're constantly skint i;ve learnt to say no. otherwise people take the piss. YANBU

bluejeans Sat 11-Jul-09 14:05:23

YANBU! £20 is too much. I usually spend £5 on DD'S teacher but she had two teachers this year so spent a bit less than that for each. They get loads anyway...

Someone at work organised a collection for a colleague who'd had a baby and wanted £20 each to buy a highchair! I thought it was too much and didn't pay (bought my own gift)but it was a bit awkward. My sis had a baby at the same time anbd got the whole high chair for under £20 at ikea...

LisaD1 Sat 11-Jul-09 14:05:24

Blimey! That's a LOT to ask per parent. My DD1 goes to a private school (her grandad pays the fees thank god!) but even there they were asking £10 per child to be split between the 2 year teachers. There's no way I would chip in £20, I don't even spend that on my nieces/nephews for birthdays!

YANBU!

qwertpoiuy Sat 11-Jul-09 14:07:52

That is outrageous. IN Ireland, the most we give to these collections is about e10 (about £7). And it's entirely voluntary. There's no shame in telling the leader of this collection you don't have £20 to spare, unless she's distanced herself from reality and really doesn't know what's going on in this country.

cat64 Sat 11-Jul-09 14:08:09

Message withdrawn

screamingabdab Sat 11-Jul-09 14:20:06

That is a ridiculous amount. I can't believe they've got the gall to ask you to contribute that much.

YANBU

SouthMum Sat 11-Jul-09 14:21:52

Hell no!! £20 is a hell of alot of money, I don't spend that much on some of my family members!

I'd just tell them you have already bought a little something and buy a tin of Roses for them all to share out and a nice thankyou card.

Carrotfly Sat 11-Jul-09 14:26:48

Too much. Far too much.

I did the collection for my sons teacher this year. He is at a private school and most of the class put in £10.

If all the parents had done this there would have been £150 !

However 4 of the parents didnt contribute anything. I didnt push them to donate, and I'm not bearing grudges wink, but I did get all the boys to sign the card, regardless of whether their parents paid anything.

Tell the mum you have already sorted something out, and thank her for offering anyway !

gorionine Sat 11-Jul-09 14:33:41

Yanbu, as much as I like the staff in my DCs school this is an amount of money would nor=t be prpared to pay. £20 per pupil would amount to £560.- just for DD1's class what are they intending to buy?????? it is more than we payed for a family of 6 for 10 days in Tunisia in a posh hotel!!!!

MissSunny Sat 11-Jul-09 14:34:17

Message withdrawn

gorionine Sat 11-Jul-09 14:35:40

I should have said per parent, not pupil as I do not assume people whith e dcs in same class would pay £40!

dietstartstomorrow Sat 11-Jul-09 14:40:10

Far too much.

Im just getting cards this year.

dilemma456 Sat 11-Jul-09 17:07:55

Message withdrawn

crazylizzy Sat 11-Jul-09 17:20:39

Thank you everyone for your feedback. I wasn't sure if this was the "going rate" these days! grin Glad it's not just me who thinks it's a bit steep.

I personally thing an open collection is far better than asking parents for a set amount, I just think it's a bit hmm

zeke Sat 11-Jul-09 17:22:33

That is ridiculous! £20 is way too much to suggest. Fine, if you wanted to donate that much or gift a gift of that value or more....but to suggest it?! I would have thought that £5 - £10 would have been reasonable.

weblette Sat 11-Jul-09 17:24:59

YANBU. Things like that should ALWAYS be voluntary - pay if you want, pay what you can afford.

In dd's class we've agreed to all chip in £35 at the start of each school year.

That pays for everything - Christmas presents, leaving presents for staff and children if they go, new baby presents, end of year stuff.

Anything that's left over goes towards food for an end-of-term barbecue.

lou031205 Sat 11-Jul-09 17:35:14

The figures are ridiculous. Even if there were only 20 children, and 8 teachers, that means a £50 present each!

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