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Unexpected 7 year old guest

(14 Posts)
RedCharityBonney Fri 10-Jul-09 22:24:43

Today my son's school friend, Reece, came round at about 6pm and asked if my son could come out and play.

Thing is my son is just 6, and he's on the autistic spectrum and I don't just let him play out, and his friend has unspecified learning difficulties and they go to the same unit. I don't know where Reece lives and I don't know his mum's name or phone number or anything. I invited him in instead, and we had a very lively hour with him, mostly a great time, but he was rummaging in all the cupboards and playing with my things as well as theirs and I felt really weird the whole time.

I asked him if his mum was coming for him and he said no, he was going home by himself (he came on his bike). I asked him if he needed taking home and he said no again, he was fine on his bike.

Well, he went off at seven when my two had their bath, and I've been really worried ever since. I know I should have taken him home, and it occured to me after that maybe his mum didn't even know he had gone out - maybe he slipped away? But I can't ring her to ask. I think I fucked up. But what if it was all genuine, and she really let him come unexpectedly to my house, without her, to play? He knows where we live because the boys go in the same taxi to their unit, so we see him every school day in the car.

I'm not happy with how I handled it, but I'm quite unhappy with her if she knowingly put me in that position too.

My kids play in the garden, or I take them to the park, because one's four, and one's autistic - they don't just ... roam around!

But assuming Reece's mum allowed this, is she under-protective or am I over-protective? I can't get my head round it really.

What do you all think?

bigchris Fri 10-Jul-09 22:27:30

if your kids go in the same taxi do you know where he lives/
do you have a partner at home with you?
could one of you nip out just to make sure he got home ok?

and ask for their number for next time?

whatmaisieknew Fri 10-Jul-09 22:30:11

you are not over protective; I'd never let a 7 yo old go out alone on his bike. And that's without taking into account an unspecified learning difficulty. Poor little boy. sad

RedCharityBonney Fri 10-Jul-09 22:31:53

bigchris, no idea where he lives - close, but no idea other than that. DH not at home tonight even if I did know

paisleyleaf Fri 10-Jul-09 22:37:45

Sort of depends how close he lives I think.
Might it be literally round the corner, or along the road? 6pm is like the afternoon these days.

But that is really odd, and I wouldn't be happy suddenly having the responsibility of him with no contact from his mum
I hope that doesn't become a habit for you then

Heated Fri 10-Jul-09 22:37:50

Could you ring the taxi co, explain the situation, and then ask the taxi co to ring to make sure he got back safely? (assuming the taxi co have both your numbers).

LynetteScavo Fri 10-Jul-09 22:39:12

So he lives close, and found his way to your house, so my guess is he'll find his way back O>K. I'd also guess he'd sneaked out, unless his parents have leaning difficulties of thier own.

Divatheshopaholic Fri 10-Jul-09 22:39:50

why dont you call local police office or any beighborhood scheme or something there is and tell them you are now worried about this boy. i would if i was you, and you are not over protective. i would not let my 6 yr old alone in the street.

RedCharityBonney Fri 10-Jul-09 22:43:12

Heated, it's a taxi arranged by the council or kids with special needs/statements. I only know the office number and the office is shut. I really know nothing .... I never thought it would matter before.

Paisley he said he was coming back tomorrow! I told him the boys are out with their grandpa tomorrow but he didn't seem to get it really. He said again, 'I'll come again tomorrow' and I said No, because grandpa's coming tomorrow and the boys will be out. Will we see him again tomorrow? Probably!

RedCharityBonney Fri 10-Jul-09 22:45:14

FOR kids, not OR kids.

LynetteScavo Fri 10-Jul-09 22:47:37

I reckon he'll be back around 8am!

RedCharityBonney Fri 10-Jul-09 22:52:43

I'll be taking him straight back home!

booyhoo Fri 10-Jul-09 23:57:40

next time he comes round , you either get his parents number and ring them to make sure they no where he is, or tell him youre walking home with him and then speak to his parents. i would try the tax office in the morning and see if the will contact parents for you.

RedCharityBonney Sat 11-Jul-09 15:21:07

Lynette, he managed to hold off until 2 pm.

I got so het up about it last night I ended up calling the police to see if there had been any missing children reported in the area. Which there hadn't. But I still couldn't get to sleep for worrying about him and eeling guilty about letting him go off.

Was relieved to see him this afternoon... and then really annoyed. His parents clearly don't mind him popping round here without warning. I reminded him that the boys' Grandpa's coming today and that we couldn't play with him and then I told him I was going to walk him home. He said he didn't need me to and then he rode off and I couldn't keep up anyway.

Going to drop his mum and dad a note on Monday via the taxi helper, asking if his visits can please be pre-arranged and if someone can come and get him at the end of them.

A bit gobsmacked at it all really. I've definitely learned some lessons about having names and addresses etc just in case.

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