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To be a bit peeved at my Aunt & Uncle? (childfree party issues)

(33 Posts)
CyradisTheSeer Fri 10-Jul-09 16:35:29

Message withdrawn

Simples Fri 10-Jul-09 16:35:58

just say
we cant come

geordieminx Fri 10-Jul-09 16:38:44

They obviously dont want the kids there, for whatever reason.

If it was my aunt/uncle then I would probably tell them to poke it, as I wouldnt be that desperate for a night with them that I would be arsed to find a babysitter.

Their party, their rules. Doest exactly sound like a wild night so I would be grateful you've got an excuse not to go grin

piscesmoon Fri 10-Jul-09 16:50:28

Just politely turn it down. There is no reason they should invite DCs if they don't want to.

Thunderduck Fri 10-Jul-09 16:51:47

I agree with Pisces.

MIAonline Fri 10-Jul-09 16:57:30

Their choice not to invite the children, your choice to not go.

screamingabdab Fri 10-Jul-09 17:38:25

I'd be a bit miffed, but possibly as others have said, it would be unreasonable to be so.

But expecting you not to bring a 3 month old ? That's just weird IMO.

Lulumama Fri 10-Jul-09 17:44:36

you could go and leave the DCs with their dad. or you could politely decline on the grounds of no childcare

YANBU to be peeved, but nor can you make them invite your children

they must have realised that no famimly would have been avilable to help with the children so i guess you have to suck it up

mum23monkeys Fri 10-Jul-09 20:06:29

Their party, their rules.

Maybe as they don't have children themselves they a) in their 'dotage' don't want your 2yr old running around knocking ornaments over, and b) don't realise how impractical it would be for you to leave them.

I think you will have to decline, politely, and say that much as you would have liked to come, you can't leave the baby.

sweetnitanitro Fri 10-Jul-09 20:22:56

I agree with mum23monkeys, as a childless couple they probably don't realise how difficult it is to arrange childcare for the evening and especially to leave a 3 mo. I would politely decline. Maybe you could invite them to your house for dinner one evening instead.

fruitstick Fri 10-Jul-09 20:28:36

I have a similar issue with 65th birthday party. We are not going although I may pop along for an hour once DCs are in bed and leave DH in charge.

To see things from their point of view, if they don't have children they must have spent their entire married lives having to be at parties with someone else's children running around, or talking about other people's children etc.

It is probably nice for them to get to an age where their social lives no longer revolve around their peers' offspring and they can finally get of a level playing field.

You are not unreasonable to be annoyed, but you can politely say you're not going to be able to make it. If they have a problem with that, then they are being unfair. If they don't, then let them enjoy their night.

How magnanimous am I being this evening! grin

JoyS Fri 10-Jul-09 20:30:55

Do you know, I'm in the their party their rules camp, but this time I'd be miffed. They must know that you can't leave your 3mo and don't have babysitters other than your parents, so it almost seems like they didn't want you there.

On the other hand, you did have the invitation second hand from your mum, is it possible she's made it sound worse than it is?

DesperateHousewifeToo Fri 10-Jul-09 20:50:27

YABU.

They do not have children so they probably find young children tedious and noisy. We all think our own children are little darlings but to many people, children and babies are to be avoidedsmile

It's their house, their party so they get to decide.

I have to say, I wouldn't be that bothered about missing an aunt or uncle's party.

LoveBeingAMummy Fri 10-Jul-09 21:34:09

Do you REALLY want to go that much? If not then YABU.

Are you the only one that has children thats been invited?

CyradisTheSeer Fri 10-Jul-09 23:29:23

Message withdrawn

ravenAK Fri 10-Jul-09 23:32:31

Go without dh & dc, surely? Could be fun.

SoupDragon Fri 10-Jul-09 23:35:27

They don't want your small children knocking stuff over. And who can blame then?

You've not been excluded - they have no idea about babysitters

Mind you, you really should sort out a reliable non-family sitter.

ravenAK Fri 10-Jul-09 23:37:18

Ah just seen your youngest is 3mo! Sorry, that might make it less practical.

TigerDrivesAgain Fri 10-Jul-09 23:39:42

neither you nor they are BU

It would be reasonable for you to take your DC along, and they probly wouldn't be too much bother for the oldies (in fact probly stars of the show).

If they are childless they will be baffled by DC. We have very good friends the same age as DH (mid 50s) who can never understand why we can't drop everything for a week away in school term, or why we have to sort out travel arrangements etc with some sort of certainty. No good being cross with them, they just don't see it.

Frankly, though, it doesn't sound like a rockin' evening.

LivingLaVidaLurker2 Fri 10-Jul-09 23:43:20

Actually, I think YANBU. I do understand this with weddings - children could be taking up spaces, it costs extra money etc. But a house party? I would be horribly offended! Presumably you're not planning to let your children run wild and ruin the house? (Not that I can imagine any damage a three month old could manage...)

I think this is rude. You're a family. Your uncle can't just pick and choose which members of the family he invites. Well, he can, I suppose, but I would be pretty peeved myself.

DesperateHousewifeToo Sat 11-Jul-09 10:14:10

''In fact stars of the show''

I suspect this could also be part of it. Your Aunt and Uncle should have centre stage as it is their party. An adult party is very different from a party where children attend.

I don't think they have done this to exclude you at all. As a SoupDragon says, they have no idea about sitters.

I'm afraid this is one of the disadantages of only having family as sitters.

TheDarkPhoenix Sat 11-Jul-09 10:21:49

To expect you to leave a 3m old is U and therefore to expect you to take 3m old and leave 2yr old is U so i think YANBU.

I would just not go.

Lots if not most people don't have a sitter outside family esecially with a baby so young.

CyradisTheSeer Sat 11-Jul-09 11:10:00

Message withdrawn

sunfleurs Sat 11-Jul-09 11:19:41

Everyone entitled to ban kids if they wish but I wouldn't go to a "family" event that banned kids.

Wouldn't make a big deal out of it or even be that offended but I think it is weird when families do this.

nkf Sat 11-Jul-09 11:29:23

It's practically an old people's party though isn't it? And it's "little." Just don't go. Or go in relays.

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