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To think a single women should not keeping coming on to a man when she knows he is married??

(164 Posts)
memoo Fri 10-Jul-09 12:15:21

and that his wife is 7 months pregnant!!!!

I'm getting really pissed off with this women at DH's work. She is always flirting with DH, I know this because DH is very open about it and doesn't try to hide it from me.

When we went out on his works do at xmas she was all smiles at DH but completely ignored me.

She is always sending DH emails with rude jokes in them and she usually includes quite suggestive comments too.

she even commented in one "bet you're not getting much with memoo being all fat and pregnant"

Yesterday DH said when she was showing him something on his computer she was leant over him almost shoving her boobs in the back of his head!!!

DH says if it carrys on he is going to have a chat with his boss.

but why the feck does somebody think its ok to behave like this with a married man!!!!

JesuslovesDubrovnik Fri 10-Jul-09 12:17:43

why the fuck does HE think its ok to make you upset about it

why the fuck doesn't he go and see the boss - NOW

he likes it and you know it.

sit him down and say this " sort it the fuck out NOW"

Nancy66 Fri 10-Jul-09 12:18:03

Can he not tell her that her behaviour is inappropriate and not welcome?

But, no, YANBU!

McSnail Fri 10-Jul-09 12:21:38

YANBU. HE needs to nip this firmly in the bud. And SHE needs to feck off and leave him be.

junglist1 Fri 10-Jul-09 12:21:56

If he won't tell her (which he should, NOW), then you'll have too. Oh and she thinks it's OK because she's a tramp, and because your H has given her signals by not putting a stop to it the first time.

FigmentOfYourImagination Fri 10-Jul-09 12:22:15

He needs to make a formal complaint to HR about her behaviour if he has already told her that it is inappropriate and she has ignored it and continued.

FigmentOfYourImagination Fri 10-Jul-09 12:24:47

lol @ "she's a tramp"

Go Ricki!
Go Ricki!
Go Ricki!

[does that arm circling thing]

memoo Fri 10-Jul-09 12:26:12

He doesn't think its ok to upset me! he told me becuase we don't keep things from each other. I intially told him to just ignore her and she'd get bored and move on to somebody else.

Obviously that hasn't worked and so he is going to speak to his boss.

Nancy66 Fri 10-Jul-09 12:28:31

I really think he has to speak to her before the boss.

crokky Fri 10-Jul-09 12:29:08

I think he should flag the situation to his boss/HR discreetly just so that if the situation continues/gets worse then it was documented already. I don't think he should ask them to inform her/take action YET because it might calm down...and if she does have to be officially spoken to over this, she could be a real nightmare to work with. Better for her to see him loved up with a new baby than to have to have HR speak to her like a sex pest.

Anyway, you shouldn't worry about it as long as your DH has things under control - she is just humiliating herself really and showing a disgusting lack of morals.

A few days before our wedding, my DH had to stay away for 1 night on a work course. One of the women on the course said to him, look you're getting married in a few days, how about a last fling - why don't you spend the night in my hotel room - nobody need ever know shock - I had met the cow and she knew I was marrying him!!!!!!!!!!!

brimfull Fri 10-Jul-09 12:30:22

Get him to talk to her and warn her that he will take it up with the boss if she carries on.

She is a tramp and yanbu

I have a maried friend who finds it impossible to not flirt with all men....and I mean all men old ,young.Tis quite sad really.

Blondeshavemorefun Fri 10-Jul-09 12:35:38

obv it is not right

but

to this woman it prob is harmless flirting
as your dh hasnt told her not to do it iyswim

so he needs to tell her bluntly to stop, that she has gone over the inviserable (sp) line

then if it continues go to boss

tbh at the moment she is probably just having a laugh and thinks it is harmless and as your dh doesnt say stop, she does iyswim

slug Fri 10-Jul-09 12:37:45

Tis sexual harassment. The fact that it's a woman doing it to a bloke is irrelevant. Get him to send a polite email to her, cc'd to his boss stating that he is made uncomfortable by her sexually inappropriate behaviour, especially comments about his pregnant wife, and that he would appreciate it if she refrained from it in the future.

If she's bright enough, the fact that his boss has been cc'd should stop it. If not, at least he has flagged up the behaviour and demonstrated that he has made efforts to address it should she continue.

dittany Fri 10-Jul-09 12:40:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dittany Fri 10-Jul-09 12:41:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

McSnail Fri 10-Jul-09 12:43:05

Well, it would be worse if he didn't tell her. Imagine finding that out third-hand? It'd look well-dodgy.

foxinsocks Fri 10-Jul-09 12:44:16

I think it's a good thing that he's told you tbh. He's probably feeling horrendously uncomfortable about the whole thing and wanted to tell you!

I tell dh stuff like this about work and vice versa .

Blondeshavemorefun Fri 10-Jul-09 12:48:51

i think it is good that he has told you - means there is nothing going on and he is being honest

drlove8 Fri 10-Jul-09 12:52:12

i think it good that he's confident in your relationship enough to tell you.smile .... but i would encourage him to speak to his boss as it is sexual harrassment. good luck with the birth btw! grin let us know when BABYMCSNAIL arrives lol x

NBelle Fri 10-Jul-09 12:56:52

I think your husband was right to tell you about it as it shows he has nothing to hide but agree that he should have a word with the dirty slapper to let her know that her attention is not welcomed. He should then let HR/Management know that he has, just so they have it documented. If it doesn't stop, then it is and HR/Management issue.

I had an old work colleague that used to say it's not your man you have to worry about it's other women....thankfully yours isn't easily lead astray like some.

Qally Fri 10-Jul-09 13:00:29

What an appalling, obnoxious bint. She seems to have no pride, never mind morals. People can be unutterably crap.

He needs to keep the emails etc. if he's going to tell her himself, in case she decides to get her own back by claiming he harassed her. She clearly isn't the most scrupulous of women. I do agree that that's the best way to go, though - he needs to make it clear this crap is unwelcome before seeking to take it up with his boss, I think.

boogiewoogie Fri 10-Jul-09 13:00:47

I agree with others that it's good that he's made you aware of it meaning that he also thinks that it's inappropriate but does your dh find her attractive?

He seems to be enjoying the attention but if he doesn't put his foot down and tell her quite bluntly where to go then the "harmless flirting" could turn into something more sinister.

I don't want to alarm you uneccessarily but your dh needs to know that this is insensitive of him and that he needs to nip it in the bud before it damages your relationship.

Dizzyclarebear Fri 10-Jul-09 13:10:56

what a trampy cow!!!!

Inform him the correct response to: "bet you're not getting much with memoo being all fat and pregnant" is: "oh she's still so sexy. I'm so lucky, she's one of those woman manage to look stunning when pregnant."

Oooh, I'm all angry for you!!!

but good for DH for telling you even if you are upset by it. Keeping this sort of thing secret isn't good.

barnsleybelle Fri 10-Jul-09 13:16:29

memoo... FWIW i admire your husband for telling you. Better to be open about all this. Imagine if you heard about her behaviour from someone else. That would be worse imo.

I also think he should say something to his boss first, as if he says anything to her she may get annoyed and get in with the boss first with a pack of lies.

ilovesprouts Fri 10-Jul-09 13:18:35

yanbu !!

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