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reeeeeeally trying not to judge

(72 Posts)
HollyBunda Fri 10-Jul-09 10:50:23

I am 7 months pregnant so admittedly I am pretty full of spite and bile.
This morning on the bus I found the last seat in the priority seat section. A mum was sitting across from me in another with her at least 4/5 year old in a buggy next to her.

A man got on the bus who obviously needed a seat. I noticed she put her head down and starting reading her CHAT magazine, so I got up and offered my seat to him.
I moved over to stand next to her buggy and then she OH! offered me her seat. OK fair enough, although I only think she did it to save face after she realized that a pregnant woman had better manners than she had.

But moving on, her son was sitting in his buggy with a PSP totally engrossed. Mother totally engrossed in her mag.
The little boy finished his game and put his PSP down a bit and I could see what he was playing - Grand Theft Auto.

really, I try not to make judgments on parents, I know it's bloody hard to bring up kids, I have two and one on the way.
But honestly, GTA! What on earth is wrong with this woman!

I can let the seat thing go, the fact he outgrew his buggy a year ago, even the crap magazine choice (although my SIL is the promotions mgr for that mag),
but how can I not sit in judgment over letting her little one play that game.

The mind boggles.

RumourOfAHurricane Fri 10-Jul-09 10:52:14

Message withdrawn

HollyBunda Fri 10-Jul-09 10:52:59

no I suppose not, but perhaps in 10 years he'll be beating her with a big stick.

ihavenosecrets Fri 10-Jul-09 10:53:22

It isn't exactly appropriate though is it?

hester Fri 10-Jul-09 10:54:51

I would judge too, and without even the benefit/excuse of pregnancy hormones!

cory Fri 10-Jul-09 10:55:49

<trying hard to see a positive here>

it is just possible that the little boy was disabled: my dd has an invisible disability which means she cannot stand up on buses; if she had had it when she was 4, I probably would have used a buggy rather than a wheelchair; sometimes I've thought of sticking a big label on her for the days when she's not using the wheelchair (but still can't stand on the bus)

<can't help you with Grand Theft Auto though>

GrimmaTheNome Fri 10-Jul-09 10:55:53

There does seem a mismatch between the game and the buggy, unless the little boy was older than he looked with a physical condition causing him to be small and need a buggy. Not particularly likely, but not impossible I suppose.

cory Fri 10-Jul-09 10:56:29

though of course I would get up and offer my own seat

<not really being much help here, am I?>

currymaid Fri 10-Jul-09 10:56:39

I read Chat magazine.

Have no knowledge of Grand Theft Auto.

This thread has gone right over my head.

GrimmaTheNome Fri 10-Jul-09 10:58:57

x-post with cory...

But anyway, v decent of you to give up your seat at 7 months PG. Offsets a bit of judginess grin

RumourOfAHurricane Fri 10-Jul-09 11:01:25

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HollyBunda Fri 10-Jul-09 11:01:37

GTN - thanks. I declined her offer as well as I knew it was under duress. She didn't insist.

weegiemum Fri 10-Jul-09 11:06:00

I would judge the GTA, but not the buggy - my dd2 has an invisible hip condition which means that, though she can stand, walk, run, jump etc she is not allowed to, and I went back to using her baby buggy until the OT appointment came through to get her Major buggy. The only way to keep her in it on bus journeys was her ds!!

Even in the Major I have had occasional comments (Old ladies saying "you would think a child of that age could walk, wouldn't you".

I always give up the prority seat and stand with the buggy if someone needs it more than me, and I would fold the buggy and sit her on my knee if a wheelchair user or someone with a greater need had to use the space.

HollyBunda Fri 10-Jul-09 11:06:02

Shineon - Do you really think it doesn't impact your life though?
what about when that kid becomes you kids best mate? It could happen.

All of these lazy things we always hear about parents doing on here in some way DO impact our lives. They are part of our society and will add to it good or bad.

I am just getting really fed up with the idea that everyone should just mind their own business.
That guy who dangled his kid from a balcony in China was attacked by an angry mob afterwards.
Sometimes I think a little of that would do a lot of good here.
(but like I said I am full of spite and bile right now).

VinegarTits Fri 10-Jul-09 11:06:10

I bet she lets him listens to Eminem on his ipod, crazy mother

(though maybe she doesnt actually know how bad GTA really is (in that case though she is a crazy dumb mother))

PeachyTheRiverParrettHarlot Fri 10-Jul-09 11:06:26

I'd have assumed a child that age in a buggy had mobility issues'd ahve to know the difference between a disability buggy (ehg Major) and a usual buggy to tell teh difference I think

Wouldnt let mine anywhere near GTA though!

Whether she offered you seat to save face, yiou both got one so no problem really.

PeachyTheRiverParrettHarlot Fri 10-Jul-09 11:08:54

VT so many people dont seem to know about GTA do they? Laods fo ds1's mates play it, all supposedly able parents

Some poeple dont even know what grand theft auto is it seems, becuase when DH and I were forced to sit a fundraising exam we didnt want to we listed it as a potential source of revenue and were passed blush

SusieDerkins Fri 10-Jul-09 11:09:46


She was reading CHAT?

Oh My God.

You were right to judge.


expertinscunthorpe Fri 10-Jul-09 11:10:34

I like Chat.

HollyBunda Fri 10-Jul-09 11:10:35


weegiemum Fri 10-Jul-09 11:11:24

I'm probably stereotyping my dd2 into domestic servitude as she sits in her "big girl" buggy with her Nintendo ds and plays Cooking Mama 2!


RumourOfAHurricane Fri 10-Jul-09 11:12:11

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RumourOfAHurricane Fri 10-Jul-09 11:12:58

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VinegarTits Fri 10-Jul-09 11:13:04

I know a few parents who wouldnt know what GTA was, the little boy could have been playing a game that was lent to him by an older sibling/cousin/friend, however any parent who does know it and allows a 4/5 yr play it is a dumbass

I try not judge, it makes my life much easier

imaynotbeperfectbutimokmummy Fri 10-Jul-09 11:13:24

Try harder! but i would have judged too so do feel too bad. Some people are just inconsiderate. The thing is, she is probably none too bright, doesn't really get the implications of GTA (which i think is awful btw) and has had a poor upbringing with no manners taught. So, at the end of the day - not really her fault!

As for the buggy, The only reason my DD, who will be four in a couple of weeks doesn't still have one is because hers broke. I couldnt bring myself to buy another one, so for the past 6 months she has used a microscooter. I don't drive so we walk for quite long distances - if it wasn't for the scooter, i think she might still be in a pushchair sometimes. She is also very tall for her age and i have seen hmm looks in the past which clearly show the people thinking, why is that child still in a buggy.

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