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to expect thank you cards when others received them but we didn't?

(17 Posts)
HoneyDue Thu 09-Jul-09 11:01:24

My dc recently went to a birthday party for 4 separate children who had joined together for the party. I got birthday presents for each and because 4 of my dc were invited, I made sure each child gave a present to each child having a birthday. So that meant we gave 16 presents.

I noticed last week that a child who did not attend the party had a thank you card but we did not receive a single thank you.

I don't normally worry too much about this but after all my effort to try to ensure I treated each child as an individual, I'm feeling a bit upset tbh.

One woman coordinated it (2 were her own dc, 2 her cousins' dc whose mum I don't know)

I'm being silly aren't I for bothering?

RumourOfAHurricane Thu 09-Jul-09 11:03:58

Message withdrawn

mummyrex Thu 09-Jul-09 11:05:29

YANBU about the thank-you cards

YABU to give 16 presents!!!!!!

crazylizzy Thu 09-Jul-09 11:06:33

YANBU, it grates me so much when people don't say thank you, especially after birthday parties or weddings, it's very rude IMO angry

Personally though, I would have just given each child something from all of your children, rather than what you did and ending up having to buy 16 presents. You are very generous but it must have cost you a fortune shock

Sayyesmummy Thu 09-Jul-09 11:06:49

Have to agree that giving 16 presents is obscene in my eyes

perhaps they are still in shock

hiphopapotamus Thu 09-Jul-09 11:09:33

Hmmm, do you need to have a card to say thank you? Maybe your 4 DC were thanked in person at the party, but because it wasn't possible for the absent child to be thanked then they did it by sending a card.

choccyp1g Thu 09-Jul-09 11:14:20

Did they get party bags? DS has sometimes received a (pre-printed) thankyou card inside the bag. I do think it's cheating a bit, but it is so hard to get DS to write thankyous I don't blame the parents. FWIW I'd have done one (biggish) present to each birthday child from all 4 of yours, but that's your choice.
Another thought, they may have got muddled up with who gave what to whom, and be too embarrassed to ask.

proverbial Thu 09-Jul-09 11:24:38

16 presents? That is insane shock I agree with sayyes, perhaps they have no idea what to say to someone who goes to a birthday party with 16 presents?

I can't say I would expect to recieve thank you cards for presents at childrens birthday parties, presumably they said thank you when handed the present?

HoneyDue Thu 09-Jul-09 11:25:32

We gave smallish presents, pretty books, arts and crafts things which did not cost a fortune but that's not the point.

I realise it's a big thing to invite all my dc so to get a pressie from each to give to each birthday child is normal in my eyes.

They did not get party bags.

But if I approach her to make sure they got the presents it's not on is it


sad

louii Thu 09-Jul-09 11:28:11

Goodness, i cant believe you gave 16 presents, how much did you spend?
Maybe they don't know where to begin with the thank you cards.

TheChilliMooseOfDoom Thu 09-Jul-09 11:31:11

Regardless of how many gifts you gave, I think that thank-you cards are just a courtesy and I would be upset too at not getting one.

zeke Thu 09-Jul-09 11:35:34

How long ago was the party? I know that many of the thank you notes given to my son arrived up to a month after the event.

You should definately get a thank you for them though.

I have to agree - 16 shock

I wanted to have a joint party for my son this year so that he would get HALF the presents (i.e. invited half of the class to have a full class party).

HoneyDue Thu 09-Jul-09 11:37:56

I spent about £5 because I have so many dc I hunt around fetes, bazaars etc to find small, nice things that don't cost a fortune (I'm not that stupid!)

But it takes time to find nice things and wrap them up as I'm sure you'll appreciate.

It appears shocking to give so many presents but what would you do if you've so many dc?

I certainly couldn't afford to give big expensive presents!

titchy Thu 09-Jul-09 11:44:10

sorry - £5 in total, on 16 presents? Or £5 on each present, so £80 in total?

If the latter you must be mad! If I had 4 children I'd given the recipient one large present, maybe spending 2 or 3 times what you'd spend on one present from one child IYSWIM.

titchy Thu 09-Jul-09 11:44:59

And if the former then you only spent 31p per child.....

currymaid Thu 09-Jul-09 11:46:33

YANBU I was a bit annoyed that my Mum received a lovely thank you card for her engagement gift to my cousin where I just got a text.

HoneyDue Thu 09-Jul-09 15:21:03

Yes it was £5, may be a bit more incl wrapping paper and birthday cards, but no more than £10 in total.

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