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In thinking that if you pick a name for your child, that's what you should call them.

(140 Posts)
whiteKnightblacKstars Tue 07-Jul-09 17:10:47

Have namechanged in case person i'm talking about is a member.

My SIL had a son and gave him a certain name - which can be shortened.

Since birth she has never called him by his full name and insists on calling him by this shortened version (which to me is nothing more than a nickname)
To all of her friends its really cool that her soon has this shortened name. And my DH reckons that she doesn't like the full name at all and that is why she uses the shortened one, and he also reckons that she does it to impress her friends with her 'cool' ways. (She named him after her and DH's Uncle who passed away while she was pregnant) DH reckoned that she only gave him the name to bring the family's focus back to her after the funeral.

AIBU to think that she should have named him something she intended to call him. I realise that its not really my place to say what she should be calling her son, but to me its just daft to give your child a name and then NEVER use it.

OldLadyKnowsNothing Tue 07-Jul-09 17:13:37

YABU. Lots of people pick a name where they like the shortened version better, because they think they have to give the child the full name on the birth certificate. Choosing a family name in memory of a late uncle is lovely. You and your DH sound very bitter, is there something else going on?

posiedullardparker Tue 07-Jul-09 17:13:49

No, maybe she felt the nickname wasn't formal enough and would like to give him the choice when he's older.

Like Edward and Teddy, for example.

littlelamb Tue 07-Jul-09 17:14:03

Not your place. Fwiw, I have the shortened version of a classic name as my actual name and it's a pita trying to tell people that, no, that really is my name iyswim

Overmydeadbody Tue 07-Jul-09 17:14:37


You need to get out more grin

potplant Tue 07-Jul-09 17:14:56

We call our DS by his shortened name, we always intended to do that. We never use his proper name. His GPS do but he usually corrects them.

YABU - its nothing to do with you and you are being a bit cynical about her choices. Perhaps she wanted to honour her uncle's memory.

FenellaFudge Tue 07-Jul-09 17:15:47

I think the issues between you and your sil are more tangled than your nephews name, so perhaps you should focus on why you dislike her instead of taking cheap shots at non-issues.

It's up to her what she names her child, it's up to her what she calls him day to day. It really is not a problem.

"....which to me is nothing more than a nickname" It has NOTHING to do with you.

Tamarto Tue 07-Jul-09 17:16:19

YABU - Giving a child an option for when they are older is a good thing. hmm

MaDuggar Tue 07-Jul-09 17:17:06


I gave my DS a long name and only ever call him by his shortened name. I prefer the nickname, but gave the long version as his given name so he could use that as an adult if he so wishes.

belgo Tue 07-Jul-09 17:17:21

YANBU. For some reason this really bugs me too, especially Eveline/Evangeline who always get called Evie.

123andaway Tue 07-Jul-09 17:17:35

YABU, all 3 of mine have shortened names which they are called by, and were enrolled at school using their shortened names.

bigchris Tue 07-Jul-09 17:18:07


we never call dd her full name, even though we really love it

my nephew is called Charlie , never Charles

it give the person more options when they are older

an Edward who is called Teddy at home would probably prefer to be called Edward at school for example

and hjow many Alfred's or Harold's would rather be called Alfie or Harry

it isn't really any of your business, are you still grieving perhaps and it is making you lose perspective and blowing this out of proportion?

Overmydeadbody Tue 07-Jul-09 17:18:36

Loadas of people have longnames and always go by their shortened versions.

Sounds like you have issues with your SIL.

belgo Tue 07-Jul-09 17:18:42

It does seem a bit of a trend to have a 'baby' name and an 'adult' name. I just don't see the point.

TheArmadillo Tue 07-Jul-09 17:18:46

yabu - it's very common to do that.

Another practice some people use is an indoor or family name (usually the middle name) and an outdoor or public/professional name (usually the first name).

Seems to me like you and your dh really have a problem with you SIL.

TrillianAstra Tue 07-Jul-09 17:19:18


I have always gone by my shortened name, but it owuld be a strange thing to have on a birth certificate.

I think it would be more wrong to give a child a 'nickname' as their full name on the birth certificate because then they don't have the choice when they are older.

Don't really know what a dead uncle has to do with anything.

MaDuggar Tue 07-Jul-09 17:20:23

belgo many people do it because they want to name the baby after a relative, but the long name doesnt suit the baby or is a bit old fashioned. Nothing wrong with it at all.

2shoes Tue 07-Jul-09 17:20:25

sounds like you have issues

Lulumama Tue 07-Jul-09 17:20:38


DD was given and registered a different name to the one she has now. we changed it via deed poll as it became her given name

i really think you need to find more important things to worry about

mummiesnet Tue 07-Jul-09 17:21:09


Tamarto Tue 07-Jul-09 17:21:28

Yes belgo a trend that has happened for years and years and years hmm

belgo Tue 07-Jul-09 17:21:50

Honouring relatives is why middle names were invented.

funkymonkeymoo Tue 07-Jul-09 17:22:02


My ds name is shortened from whats on his bc

If I do call him the long version, he tells me its the short version.

Me thinks theres more going on with op than DN shorterned name

belgo Tue 07-Jul-09 17:23:26

yes actually you're right Tamarto it has been happening for years and years. But I still don't get it.

I love calling my dd2 her full name, even thought it has about 10 possible short versions.

funkymonkeymoo Tue 07-Jul-09 17:23:32

Woops I ment YABU all new to this (moves slowly to the exit and runs)

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