AIBU to take my best friend up on her offer??

[macdoodle]

Even though I dont think I should!

Quick back story - best friend and I close, live across the road, work together, daughters 2 weeks apart in age! We help each other a lot with childcare !

We usually go out once a week (dinner and movies) - her DH watches her DC, her eldest DD (age 17) watches mine (age 7 and 18 months) - I always pay for this babysitting happily !

Anyway, they are having some financial difficulties and she has cancelled this week which is fine (I would treat her but there is no way on earth she would accept), so another friend who I havent seen for ages contacted me to ask if I was free one evening this week to catch up - she cant do tomorrow but can do thur - best friends DD cant babysit on thur nor can my other regular babysitter!

So heres the crunch - best friend has very kindly offered to babysit for a few hours for me - but I just feel awful about doing this to her, she stays in watching my DC while I go out and we couldnt have our regular night out because she cant afford it I would offer to pay her but she would be mortified!

I would love to see my other friend but I dont think this is a nice thing to do is it???

[mckenzie]

It sounds as if you are very close so perhaps you could tell your friend what you've told us. I'm sure she will understand that you have other friends too and it might make her feel less bad about having let you down to know that you are still going to get a night out (I'm not saying she has let you down, just suggesting that she might be feeling that way )

[flowerybeanbag]

What hanaflower said, that would be nice.

I don't think you should be expected to curtail your own social life because of her financial problems, and as long as you help each other with childcare, in other words you will reciprocate later, then it's fine.

Perhaps you could suggest you change your weekly nights out to fortnightly if she is having problems, so she doesn't feel she's letting you down if she can't manage every week.

[mamalovesmojitos]

hmmm. she probably genuinely wants to help! but i know i wouldn't feel completely right about that situation.

could you ask the two friends to come to your house for a cheap and cheerful tea with a bottle of plonk and chat instead?

[jicky]

How about taking her up on the offer, but saying that the two of you will be going out next week and you will be treating her in return for her favour this week?

[zeke]

That is a nice idea Jicky.

Sounds like you two have such a lovely friendship!

[Confuzzeled]

I agree with Jicky, take her up on the offer and treat her next week.

[hullygully]

Another agree with Jicky

[DesperateHousewifeToo]

Does she know your other friend?

Could you not all meet at yours instead of going out? That way you won't need a babysitter and she won't be left out/at home.

Alternatively, do as Jicky suggested

[macdoodle]

Best friend and other friend dont really know each other - we would be talking mostly shop ;)
I have a hundred DVD's here she can watch but she will prefer to internet!
Jicky am liking your idea it might just work - she is very proud though!
When new DP is home next I have invited them over for BBQ and drinks, we will all get merrily drunk till the early hours and saves them having to worry about buying rounds
I may just invite other friend here for takeaway and wine to save having to make a decision!