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to be furious with the teacher

(16 Posts)
sausagetits Sun 05-Jul-09 21:01:48

who on a residential trip told my 9yr DD to wear one of her nighttime pajama pants on a day trip?

The school were made aware that she suffers from primary enuresis and can self manage.

However, just before the class were due to set out on a day trip a teacher told DD that she should put a pajama pant on as there weren't going to be many toilets shock

I asked DD if she explained that she only wore them at night but DD is a timid sort and was afraid she's get into trouble so she did what she was told.

When I found out about this (and only because I put a spare pair in her luggage and I asked what had happened when it did not return) I was horrified. DD is not incontinent and has not worn nappies in the daytime since she was about 2.

My heart breaks to think of how she was feeling wearing the pants on a flipping day trip.

So, what do I do? Who do I complain to and am I being unreasonable to be so angry?

corriefan Sun 05-Jul-09 21:07:21

Poor girl I hope she's OK. Had there been a lot of communication with the school staff as to her needs? what prompted the teacher telling her to do that? Had your dd expressed any worries about being caught short for example?

Lilyloo Sun 05-Jul-09 21:09:16

Did the teacher fully understand the situation before dd went on the trip ?
Otherwise she may have thought she was being 'helpful' to dd ?

katiestar Sun 05-Jul-09 21:10:41

Your poor DD !!
Had you briefed the teacher on what DDs condition is ? I think the teacher was trying to be thoughtful but I would have been fuming too.YANBU !

sausagetits Sun 05-Jul-09 21:11:21

hello corriefan, my DD has no bladder issues at school and as far as I'm aware I made it clear it was nocturnal. However, there is a chance that the teacher did not realise. I'm a little disappointed that DD did'nt make more of an issue of it but I think she was embarrassed. It's atricky one because I don't want to go in all guns blazing but I'm still pissed off, iyswim.
I don't think DD would have told me had I not asked. She did tell me that it felt weird to wear one in the day.

sausagetits Sun 05-Jul-09 21:13:42

I had briefed her form teacher (who went on the trip)and included it on the medical form. However, this was a teacher form Yr 5 who made her wear one. DD is in Yr4 and I didn't for one moment imagine that I'd have to brief the whole staff. Fo the record, I did not even know that the teacher in question was also going.

corriefan Sun 05-Jul-09 21:19:31

It does seem very odd if she'd not had any issues during the day. Lots of kids her age are the same. I would ask about it but try not to get angry, I'm sure no malice was intended.

sausagetits Sun 05-Jul-09 21:22:56

I'm also sure no malice was intended but at the very least it's a little odd and insensitive. Not great one one's self esteem on a first trip away with the school and you only turned 9 two days before.

sausagetits Sun 05-Jul-09 21:23:29

No great for one's self esteem, I meant.

sausagetits Sun 05-Jul-09 21:24:24

So should I speak directly to the Year 5 teacher or instead to her class teacher?

Sassybeast Sun 05-Jul-09 21:26:34

You definately need to flag it up - how awful for your little girl. My DD also wets at night and she would be MORTIFIED if this had happened to her. Definately have a word - lack of communication and sensitivity at the very least.

sausagetits Sun 05-Jul-09 21:29:57

Yes, i thought so too.I think I'll flag it up with her form teacher tomorrow morning.

Harri1 Sun 05-Jul-09 21:33:12

Def speak to class teacher in the am and if I were you I would speak to the yr5 teacher too. All staff are briefed on all medical issues on residential so he/she should have been aware.

sausagetits Sun 05-Jul-09 21:37:07

Thanks all, better go now as got to do a few more things before bed. Thanks for not making me seem a bit pfb ish. I'm going to gently kick some teacher butt tomorrow.

cory Mon 06-Jul-09 08:12:45

Dd was incontinent when she went on school trip aged 9; we sent incontinence pads with her and the school were very tactful about it and always helped her to manage her problems in the least conspicuous way.

But what I have found is that individual teachers often do not know quite what is going on, particularly in a large school. Gentle kicking is the way to go.

Pyrocanthus Mon 06-Jul-09 10:31:01

Yes, kick gently. They'll almost certainly completely understand. If you kick too hard, they just hop around shouting 'ow'.

I very politely raised the issue with our HT about DD not being allowed to use her inhaler by vile cricket coach (the school buys in sports coaches from local clubs) until he'd decided 'that she really needed it'. I also very tactfully drew to her attention the fact that a member of staff should have been with the class, but wasn't. She was very shocked in both cases and things have been done...

Obviously, if they don't get it, then you get your hobnails out.

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