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...to be annoyed I couldn't take my kids to this party?

(17 Posts)
Flyonthewindscreen Sun 05-Jul-09 16:18:48

Myself and DH were invited to a "schoolgates" friend of mines 40th yesterday. We are fairly good friends and both our DCs are in the same classes. Anyway my DH had already arranged to be away this weekend so I said to my friend "thanks for invite but I will have to see if I can get babysitters before I confirm". I admit I was hoping she would say "no prob, bring the kids" but instead she said "oh you can bring them if you are really having babysitter problems" but in a really doubtful tone that made it obvious she didn't want them there.

I though fair enough, she wants a civilised child free do so I sorted for my ILs to babysit. They are grudging babysitters but as the party started at 4 I felt I had to have a family sitter as it would involve tea, bath and bed etc.

Anyway, myself and another friend who had had to leave her DH at home with the kids as no babysitter arrived at the party to find it awash with kids. There was even a bouncy castle for them and the food was a barbeque so also child friendly. About 20% of the guests were family with kids in tow and another at least 60% were neighbours, also with their kids there.

I had a nice time (don't want to be ungrateful as she didn't have to invite me smile) but left at 8.30 to relieve ILs who had obviously found the babysitting a PITA.

AIBU to be annoyed that my friend didn't want me (or other non neighbour friends) to bring my kids when that means I've used up precious babysitting credit with my ILs for a party that would have been perfectly suitable for them to attend?

CharlieandLolasMum Sun 05-Jul-09 16:24:55

Depends on if the children were relatives or close friends children rather than school gate ones

DesperateHousewifeToo Sun 05-Jul-09 16:24:56

Maybe she had done the sums and figured all the extra children would be unmanageable in terms of catering and space.

Kimi Sun 05-Jul-09 16:25:57

Well she did say you could take them if you had no babysitter, but you read it as her not wanting them there.

So I think you are being a little unreasonable

bigchris Sun 05-Jul-09 16:28:32

yabu

she said you could take them

the party wss at four pm, i would have anticipated kis being there

if she'd made it clearer u could have put kids to bed and gone later though

LadyRaRa Sun 05-Jul-09 16:29:11

asre your kids horrendous?

Sassybeast Sun 05-Jul-09 16:37:15

YABU. She said that you could take them and you chose not to.

Symapthies with using up the baby sitting credits though - oh to have grand parents who enjoyed helping!

Flyonthewindscreen Sun 05-Jul-09 16:42:16

That would be a unanimous IABU then! Don't worry I am a big girl and can take it grin

zeke Sun 05-Jul-09 16:46:01

She may have said it in a doubtful tone because she assumed that you wanted a babysitter so you could relax and enjoy it more.
However, if that was the case then she should have made it clear that lots of other children were going to be there.
A party that started at 4 pm is really making a point of being child friendly imo.
I'm sorry that your IL's aren't very supportive - it makes such a big difference doesn't it?

StealthPolarBear Sun 05-Jul-09 16:46:17

I can see what you mean - you'd have expected her to say "No problem, bring them along, there will be loads of all ages", but she didn't for whatever reason

Doodle2u Sun 05-Jul-09 16:54:01

What's up with your in-laws then? Sound like right miserable feckers to be honest. That's the issue I'd be addressing, I think!

Flyonthewindscreen Sun 05-Jul-09 18:28:44

My thoughts exactly re inlaws Doddle2u but that would be another thread smile

Flyonthewindscreen Sun 05-Jul-09 18:30:54

Sorry Doodle not Doddle...

junglist1 Sun 05-Jul-09 18:53:06

YANBU it's either little uns allowed or not allowed.

IKnowWhoYouAre Sun 05-Jul-09 18:59:03

I think you are over-analysing this and reading too much into her "doubtful tone". Maybe she did mean you could bring them, but was stifling a fart, or distracted by itchy piles and wanted to clear off sharpish for a discreet scratch. Sometimes it's not you, it's them. Don't waste your energy fretting over it.

junglist1 Sun 05-Jul-09 19:06:40

grin at stifling a fart!!!! That's a Mumsnet classic mate

Flyonthewindscreen Sun 05-Jul-09 19:23:08

And on that note, I am logging off for the day grin

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