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to be annoyed at the pecking order of the breaking baby news?

(60 Posts)
CakeandFineWine Thu 02-Jul-09 20:54:34


So my Brother-in-law, (DH Twin) and his DP
have announced they are expecting their first baby on 25/12/2009!!
Yeah good news and all

Then we fine out that all her family and our family were told first, fair enough can cope with that we live furthest away, out of sight and all that!

Then he drops the bombshell that they also told some of their (and our) friend before us?!?!?! shock

Surely this is bad baby breaking news etiquette?
I mean its his twin?!!?

deep breath

RumourOfAHurricane Thu 02-Jul-09 20:56:04

Message withdrawn

sagacious Thu 02-Jul-09 20:57:15

Theres etiquette?


Take a deep breath and think about how whiney you sound.

hf128219 Thu 02-Jul-09 20:57:37

Yeah - does it matter?

canttouchthis Thu 02-Jul-09 20:57:47

it doesn't really matter who finds out first, there's always going to be one party who are disappointed to not have been told first. you can please everyone...try and see it from their point of view.

MrsTittleMouse Thu 02-Jul-09 20:57:56

I wouldn't be thrilled. It's difficult to know the circumstances though. Sometimes friends find out first because they are there and spot the symptoms, or because you need someone to help through morning sickness or so on.

How does your DH feel about it?

mummiesnet Thu 02-Jul-09 20:58:06

I told a handful of friends then nobody, inc my Mum, Dad and brother til 13 weeks.

I don't think there are any hard and fast rules tbh, depends how close they are.

canttouchthis Thu 02-Jul-09 20:58:35

oops, you can't please everyone blush

MaggieBeeBeau Thu 02-Jul-09 20:59:41

I told my boss before my mum!! blush

FabBakerGirlIsBack Thu 02-Jul-09 20:59:58

Really, it doesn't matter.

There is surely no etiquette and people can tell who they want, when they want.

Mine are 8 5 and 4 and I still haven't told some people I was pregnant with them.

mummiesnet Thu 02-Jul-09 21:01:06

Actually I think you're being really odd if your only reaction to their news is: "Yeah good news and all" and then "I must go and rant about something insignificant on MN."

You hate your SIL, don't you?

pointydog Thu 02-Jul-09 21:02:00

I didn't think there was any etiquette on this issue.

If my sister gets pregnant (and I do wish she'd get a move on) I wouldn't be at all surprised if she told some of her friends first

PrincessToadstool Thu 02-Jul-09 21:02:11

Do you get a prize for being in the first 5 people to know, or something?


wonderingwondering Thu 02-Jul-09 21:05:11

I told my friends in the pub half an hour after I'd done the test as they spotted I wasn't drinking and quizzed me until I confessed! DH and I only just knew, we told our parents when we next saw them, a day or two later. Then siblings, then everyone else after 12 weeks. It is just logistics, they might have wanted to tell you face to face.

Good news doesn't 'wear out' for being shared!

MiniMarmite Thu 02-Jul-09 21:06:05

People just get carried away with the excitement and accidentally tell people they see on a day-to-day basis before their family

I did anyway

I told anyone who would listen TBH blush

You're going to an Aunty grin who cares about etiquette?!

hf128219 Thu 02-Jul-09 21:06:10

I really don't get the big deal here. She's only what 14 weeks pregnant? Of course her family would be the first to know, then his parents and so on.

Your dh is only a lowly uncle after all grin

CakeandFineWine Thu 02-Jul-09 21:07:01

I don't hate my SIL at all actually!
I'm really quite happy for them,
We sat down both our families within 24 hours and told everyone practically at the same time.
Yes I understand best friends/bosses ect may be told first, but it feels like everyone knew before us, I'm surprised we didn't hear via a friend on facebook or something, and I guess its more odd by the fact they had a perfect private opportunity to tell us on Saturday eve?

Our lack of pecking order is probably exaggerated by the fact I found out I am expecting #2 yesterday, the day they announced to us so am a bit emotional anyway?

PS I LOVE MN, you never know the reaction your going to get!!! wink

Tambajam Thu 02-Jul-09 21:08:08

You tell people when it crops up, when you see them, if they are part of your daily lives. Not a biggie.

CakeandFineWine Thu 02-Jul-09 21:09:36

I think my beef is the fact it was mutual friends, therefore they could have accidently slipped it out to us in conversation and we would have found out third hand,

Also they SAW us on Saturday face to face but rang last night so told us over the phone anyway.

AitchTwoOh Thu 02-Jul-09 21:09:38

congratulations on your pregnancy, mad hormonal etiquette lady. grin

Pingpong Thu 02-Jul-09 21:10:40

Dry your eyes!
It's no biggie is it?
YABU smile

AitchTwoOh Thu 02-Jul-09 21:10:43

your 'beef' is silly, lol. smile who honestly gives a stuff about this sort of thing, good news is good news.

ImOverHere Thu 02-Jul-09 21:10:55

I had a similar thing happen to me and it got to the point that, although I knew my Bro and SIL were having a baby, I had to pretend I didn't (and I think they knew that I knew but still didn't say anything. I broke the stale mate by putting a congrats note in SIL birthday card and all was well after I had).

Bloody pathetic and not a little bit hurtful. I understand how you feel and although it doesn't matter in the long run (you do get over it when you realise that a new person is going to come into the world and how exciting that is) I was left wondering what it was all about and why I was such a pariah I couldn't be told at the same time as everyone else (still don't know, but have decided it doesn't matter now).

Not helpful for you other than to know your not the only one.

CakeandFineWine Thu 02-Jul-09 21:11:18

Why isn't there a crazy looking smileys?

I guess I have manners and standards higher than others grin

mummiesnet Thu 02-Jul-09 21:14:43

Well that's good you don't hate her - just trying to see if we could get to the crux of the matter.

It transpired there isn't one.

Do you think you might be overblowing the whole thing though somewhat:

"We sat down both our families within 24 hours and told everyone practically at the same time."

So what if you did?

You're right and they're wrong?

Perhaps they just don't think people will assume it's as groundbreaking as you did.

Congrats on your pregnancy btw - hope you've told everyone you know in RL before you told us lot wink

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