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To be fed up how often the word 'bully' is thrown around?

(8 Posts)
Tamarto Thu 02-Jul-09 15:55:06

One incident does not a bully make, and just because your little love doesn't get on with someone doesn't make the someone a bully.

This isn't about any one thread rather the millions of them (slight exageration) that seem to be going round.

IMO it takes away from how serious actual bullying can be.

iamtrufflepig Thu 02-Jul-09 16:04:07

It obviously is serious to the people who are posting about their dcs being bullied. I was bullied at school, not beaten or hit so maybe that doesn't count but the drip, drip, drip of negative comments are just as bad.

Tamarto Thu 02-Jul-09 16:18:30

I am refering mostly to how quickly someone answering a thread cries bully.

EG: Tarquin likes to miss the cracks in the pavement while walking, and Joe Bloggs is standing in his way, because Joe wouldn't move Tarquin cried.

Mum posts someone say oooh what a horrible bully Joe is, i think hmm

welshdeb Thu 02-Jul-09 16:20:04

I kind of agree.
Many posters write my dc is bring bullied at nursery / plagroup/ preschool when in reality other children are acting like most typical 2 3 or 4 year olds who dont have the maturity of thought or expression to give any thought to the consequeces of their actions.
There are also the pfbs who cry bullying in respect of normal playground behaviour. Yes your child may be upset at this incident but one offs are not bullying.

I also think this view trivialises hard core bullying which in my opinion is much more nasty long term sustained actions either pysical or mental.

OrmIrian Thu 02-Jul-09 16:22:19

It's just used as short hand for someone who behaves aggressively I think. Obviously real bullying is sustained and personal. But being the victim of someone having a bad day can be just as unpleasant at the time. But not bullying.

BalloonSlayer Thu 02-Jul-09 16:30:07

My DS1 sometimes says "I was bullied today."

On investigation, it always turns out to be that someone was not very nice to him.

I keep explaining that not everyone in the world is going to be nice to him every day of his life, and that bullying is something that goes on and on and on.

I still don't think he gets it. I think the school message is "Bullying is being nasty to people."

I do worry that schools may treat a one-off incident, which maybe ended up with someone getting pushed, as bullying, but brush off a sustained programme of ignoring and belittlement against one person because it doesn't involve anything physical.

(I do agree though that some people are bullies, and will always try to get their own way using the force of their personality to the detriment of others.)

iamtrufflepig Thu 02-Jul-09 16:32:02

Ok, I understand what you are saying now. Definitely agree with Welshdeb about very young children being accused of being bullies when they are just acting like young children. When I read the OP I was thinking of older children.

Kazzi79 Sat 04-Jul-09 19:05:46

I totally agree, a seperate topic rants on about teenagers using the word "gay" as banter. On that topic is everyone jumping on the same bandwagon then because I pop up with an alternative view they as good as lynch mob me! I tried to point out that its just teenagers being teenagers having banter as the majority of people with a sense of humour do and jeeeeeeeezus I was called an ignorant bigot and all sorts lol

Theres a big difference between bullying and banter and I do think people are too quick to cry bully (and I've been the victim of bullying both as a child and adult)

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