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to want to hit a mum at playgroup?

(65 Posts)
BirdFromDaNorf Thu 02-Jul-09 15:18:09

Scenario: Husband working away, 2.5yr old had a bad night with the heat, 12 month old teething + heat = bad night all round, so v bad morning follows today for me, when I forced the kids to eat cheerios for brekkie...they didn't want them and I forced them. Little one to nursery, elder one out with me to a playgroup in Girton.

DS1 has cup of milk in car to keep him quiet en route. We get to Girton, go to get DS1 out of car, find he has been sick everywhere. Go to give DS1 drink of milk to rinse mouth - realise it's the milk. Waitrose milk too! Only bought yesterday Grrr been in fridge.

Anyway, DS1 into playgroup in shorts and no top. Someone comments on it to me, I start to explain that he's been sick, so no t-shirt. She jumps down my neck about why on earth would anyone in their right mind take a sick child to playgroup etc. We are going on holiday on Sunday etc ranting at me. I try to get in, saying "you've not given me chance to explain, do you think I'm that sort of mother, he's had some milk that I didn't know wasn't right, that's all. What sort of mother do you think I am, that I woudl do that??"

No apology, no sorry, no sheepish "oh right". Just a repeating of "well we are going on holiday on Sunday and I don't want sick children".....

She didn't give me chance to explain. She didn't draw breath. People were looking. Being very tired, hormonal (12 days late with period grrr) and utterly beffudled by the whole thing I've picked up DS1 and walked out. And cried in the car that things are not going my way today.....

What I should have done, was hit her, or embarass her, or demand an apology. Something surely. I don't know her well so this isn't going to be nice next time I see her. AIBU to go back next week and hit her if she doesn't come to me and apologise instantly?? angry

RoseBlossoms Thu 02-Jul-09 15:23:16

Let it go. You've had a horrible day dont let this anger fester for a week. everyone is hot and bothered and rude this week!

Take the high ground next week smile and dont even mention it!

Hope you are having a lie down or somewhere cool!

MangoJuggler Thu 02-Jul-09 15:24:18

You should have taken him home straight away - how do you know that the off milk was not a coincidence and he has got the sick bug?

Tamarto Thu 02-Jul-09 15:26:09

Yes i think you should hit her, then if she says anything again put out a hit on her. hmm

Why should she know what sort of mum you are? and tbh if my child had just been sick regardless of why i'd not have taken them into playgroup.

wilkos Thu 02-Jul-09 15:26:31

well yabu if you were to ACTUALLY hit her

yanbu just for thinking it. she sounds charming hmm

if she is like that to others eventually someone else will do it for you!

OrmIrian Thu 02-Jul-09 15:27:09

"AIBU to go back next week and hit her if she doesn't come to me and apologise instantly?? "

Poor you sad But yes you would be very unreasonable. It might have been understandable this morning when you were overwrought but not a week later.

Cool down, calm down and let it go.

rubyslippers Thu 02-Jul-09 15:28:11

yes of course you should hit her

what a sensible reposnse

if my child had been sick - because of off milk or not I wouldn't have taken them to playgroup either

would have taken them home to have some quiet time/freshen up

Tamarto Thu 02-Jul-09 15:28:27

'It might have been understandable this morning when you were overwrought'

Really? You think it's ok for someone top hit someone else because they are overwrought? shock

AitchTwoOh Thu 02-Jul-09 15:28:41

you sound a bit wound up, tbh. how do you know she wasn't having an eually stressful day?

WriggleJiggle Thu 02-Jul-09 15:28:46

Ignore, ignore, ignore.
She must have had a truely horrendous morning to be so grumpy.

Singstar Thu 02-Jul-09 15:30:49

YANBU for wanting to hit her but you did the right thing by walking away. Ultimately she looks like a right idiot and everyone else there will be looking at her thinking what a bully and bitch she has been to make you so upset and not even let you have the chance to clean up your little one.

She's going to be on holiday next week which means you can go next week and set the record straight bitch about her whilst she's not there, make sure everyone knows how upset you were. When she comes back you can sit there nice and smugly while everyone gives her mean looks for being horrible. Sorted grin

fanjoforthemammaries7850 Thu 02-Jul-09 15:33:04

Do people really hit each other at playgroups? shock I must lead a sheltered life!

OrmIrian Thu 02-Jul-09 15:33:06

No tamarto, I don't think it's 'OK' to hit anyone ever, but I could understand the heat of the moment. However planning to go back and do it a week later would be quite another thing.

She does sound a loon.

Tamarto Thu 02-Jul-09 15:34:32

So, child has a bad night then is sick but it's not a bug because you in your mediacal capacity know this for sure how exactly?

LOL @ her being a bully and a bitch because the OP is having a bad time of it!

imaynotbeperfectbutimokmummy Thu 02-Jul-09 15:34:43

ah well, you ask if you should have embarrased her - i think she managed that all by herself! BITCH!

Hope your day got better

Fanjita Thu 02-Jul-09 15:34:58

Doesn't sound like she'll be there next week if they are going on holiday so perhaps it will give you and her both chance to cool off before you meet again.

If you go whilst she's not there you can explain to the other Mum's what happened and have some support for the week she is back.

I don't think hitting her would have helped though, maybe she had just as bad a night as you and flipped.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 Thu 02-Jul-09 15:36:24

yes, you can all send her to Coventry and stick nasty notes on her back saying "i smell" as well.

Fanjita Thu 02-Jul-09 15:38:00

You mention Girton, which I understand is in Cambridgeshire. Is there some link with Cambridgeshire places being unfriendly to people?

AitchTwoOh Thu 02-Jul-09 15:41:33

you people are all mad, the OP was clearly in a TERRIBLE mood by the time she got to nursery. i doubt anyone could have said anything to please her.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 Thu 02-Jul-09 15:43:03

i was being sarcastic there Aitch, hope you didnt think I was being serious (and mad!)

MangoJuggler Thu 02-Jul-09 15:44:56

But WHY would you want to impose your vomitous child on others?

I don't get it

Poor little chap, I'll bet he was glad to get home and get cleaned up

Jajas Thu 02-Jul-09 15:45:07

Poor OP crap day

AitchTwoOh Thu 02-Jul-09 15:45:25

lol i did think you were being sarcastic, fear not. but all this 'bully and bitch' stuff is a bit ott imo. fgs all the woman said was that she was goiing on hols on sun and didn't want sik kids. fair enough, imo. if i was going on hols i wouldn't want sick kids either.

Fruitysunshine Thu 02-Jul-09 15:46:41

I reckon the woman was probably even more wound up than you were by her reaction to be honest. Maybe she has had a bad day and is obviously preparing to go away on holiday with all the stress that entails. Be more gracious and understanding that some people just speak their mind instead of bitching behind your back. I hope your little one is better soon.

Singstar Thu 02-Jul-09 15:51:37

I read that thread about cambridgeshire folk too ! Might avoid given that part of the country a visit!

I think the fact that the woman didn't let the OP finish what she was saying, or get her point across, did make her a bully. She certainly did sound very friendly. We don't know whether or not the OP didn't just want to clean up her kid before bringing them home. I don't think it was reasonable for the woman to be 'jumping down her throat' as she put it. Especially not if she's stood there with a kid covered in sick. She's going to be stressed enough.

Everyone has bad days, but I certainly wouldn't storm up to someone in that situation and have massive go with the intention of embarrassing like the woman did - I think it was a bitchy thing to do.

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