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To want to give these cats a home?

(34 Posts)
Alestorm Tue 30-Jun-09 14:09:46

My friend was adopted by a cat, who then went on to have 4 kittens under her bed! She can't keep them as she already has 2 cats, but I would really like to give them a good home.

I don't want to keep all of them, possibly just one kitten and the mother (who is barely out of kittenhood herself) and find homes for the rest of the kittens. But dh has said no, because apparently I'm always complaining about the amount of work I have to do to keep the house sorted and cats would only add to that.

Bearing in mind we have a 2.5 year old and a 17 week old, and dh barely pulls his weight at the best of times, AIBU? The only thing he'd need to do is change the litter tray as I'm breastfeeding, and that would only be for a short amount of time, as IME cats much prefer to go outside - although then he'd need to de-poo the garden. But it's not like I'm going to be bf-ing forever (although it feels like it at the moment! wink) and cats live up to 20 years.

Alestorm Tue 30-Jun-09 14:10:30

Ps - we would get the mother cat checked for a microchip first, to make sure she's not someone's beloved family pet!! grin

Alambil Tue 30-Jun-09 14:12:54

cats are very little work though - I have an indoor cat, fill her food and water daily, sort the litter tray when it needs and that's it - the rest is fun and playing / her sleeping!

Its not like a dog that needs walking

Alestorm Tue 30-Jun-09 14:15:23

So AIBU or not Lewis?! wink

Dh told me to start this thread - i think he thinks MNers will be on his side!

Callisto Tue 30-Jun-09 14:16:57

Kittens and small children don't mix. A toddler can easily give a cat internal injuries just by 'hugging'.

Also cats crap everywhere, not just your garden, but gardens all over the neighbourhood. You will need to house train the cats to use the litter tray and be aware that cat piss smells vile. You will need to get them both spayed/neutered to prevent any more kittens. Also, they will bring into the house birds, mice, rats etc, not always dead either. Cats get very flea-ridden at this time of year so you will need regular flea treatments, not to mention worming them regularly. If you can put up with all of this then go for it. wink

Alestorm Tue 30-Jun-09 14:21:41

Callisto - ds is very wary of cats since he got swiped by my friend's cat last year! Also, kittens are fast little blighters and can vote with their feet (or paws) if they feel threatened.

I don't mind if they bring mice in - in fact we have a mouse living (somewhere) in our lounge at the moment, so maybe it might fuck off if we get a cat (or 5!). Flappy, half dead birds are an issue, but IME of having cats - and I grew up with my parents having cats - it's a fairly rare occurrence.

It's the poo thing really - we already have cat poo in our garden from neighbour's cats which dh has to clean up (cause of the bf-ing thing) and so long as litter is changed daily it doesn't smell too bad. The other option is to have a litter tray in the shed, and train them to use that.

SouthMum Tue 30-Jun-09 14:25:35

I thik go for it if you want a cat. They aren't that much hassle and the kittens will just steer clear of the kids.

Alestorm Tue 30-Jun-09 14:26:33

Well dh has said no, and that's it. sad

The cats are going to a shelter.

SoupDragon Tue 30-Jun-09 14:26:49

I can't find anything that says you shouldn't change a litter tray whilst bf-ing, only when pregnant.

Alestorm Tue 30-Jun-09 14:31:16

Oh? It was my friend who told me that, Soupy. Perhaps she was mistaken. Mind you - now you've said that (and dh is reading at work, cause i've just sent him the link) i'm going to have to take my turn at de-pooing the garden now! And it won't even be for my own cat! sad

Alestorm Tue 30-Jun-09 14:39:01

Dh says I haven't given the story accurately. He says that he's not opposed to getting a cat eventually, but he feels that the time isn't right just at the moment. He's worried that the cat might run into the road while I'm getting the dc into the car (although the front door is open for a matter of seconds and I can easily shut them in downstairs - and in fact would probably do this as I'm not mad keen on having cats upstairs in bed with us as we co-sleep) and...um...other sundry reasons he's giving for being a total arse over the whole thing.

This discussion is totally academic, of course, as the cats are already going to a shelter. Thanks, dh.

I've now said that I don't want to get a cat at all, and he can forget about ever getting a dog. AIBB (Am I Being Bratty?)

Boys2mam Tue 30-Jun-09 14:50:28

YAB (a little) Bratty....

....I'd be gutted too but once the children are bigger then you will surely want to revisit this issue and if you've given in graciously this time you're more likely to get a yes.

As to whether its a cat or dog, this can be discussed as a family at that time (I love my cat to bits but would love a little dog at some point in the future - DP says a categoric no sad)

Cat litter trays and crawling babies do not really mix.

Alestorm Tue 30-Jun-09 14:56:06

I don't want a dog. I've never wanted a dog - ds isn't keen on them At All and I'm not a dog person in the slightest.

I may have been persuaded to compromise, but not now dh has been such a massive twat about this. It feels like he's taken on the role of parent, saying, "You won't clean them out, I'll have to do all the work," (to put this into context, the sum total of his housework is doing the washing up of an evening and leaving the sink in a frankly disgraceful state) and handing down a judgement from on high. I feel like it's marred the whole issue of getting a cat ever.

Just to clarify - I didn't want to keep all 5 cats. I would even have happily rehomed all the kittens and kept the mother cat, as a compromise. But no, this was not acceptable. So I'm not going to compromise on him getting a dog, ever.

MisterAlestorm Tue 30-Jun-09 15:13:24

DH in question here -

First, DW insulting me and name-calling over this really hasn't helped, as I'm just thinking about that and pissed off with how unnecessary it's been, and less about the actual issue at hand. It doesn't exactly feel like she's thinking like a sensible grown-up over the issue, and has been swayed by beautiful kittens with big eyes and soft fur mewling gently at her.

I'm not opposed to having a cat or cats. In fact I've already got one, that's been living at my parents house for a few years now, that I'd love to come and live with us now we're a bit more settled. The problem is that she likes sleeping on top of people and that's not great when we've got a small baby.

I'd thought that our general agreement had been that we'd get a cat flap sorted out - not simple, seeing as it would have to go through a wall, as we have a glass sliding rear door at the back, and when the little one was a bit bigger, my cat would come and live with us. I'd thought we were all cool with this, and it was the plan.

Then, suddenly, it gets sprung on me that there is a cat with four kittens and please can they come and move into our shed. Straight away.

Oh, and I never do anything around the house and am a lazy arsehole, despite working full time and having to be out of the house by quarter to eight in the morning and not getting home until seven in the evening, and all my failings are being pointed out, with added obscenities, because I've said 'whoa, hang on, let's think this through a bit and try to make a sensible decision'.

I want a cat. Maybe two.

I want a dog, but maybe not whilst we're living in the house we're in, and maybe not until one of both of our kids decide they'd like one, if ever. I'm hardly demanding it on a regular basis. I'll say I miss having one around, or miss my old dog that died a good few years ago, but I'm not especially hankering afer one, and even if a sad eyed puppy turned up on the doorstep, I'd still have to think about the right thing to do, and find a home that was actively looking for a puppy to home it in, rather than taking it in.

And yeah, DW does get very stressed out with the kids at times. She asks me if I can pull sickies or come home early, when she knows I've got a fairly stressful work situation, that's possibly at risk. I have to say 'No' then too, and also feel shit about it. Because I have to save the sick days and pisstaking with work attendance for the times when it's really, really necessary.

So - what I've said, really, about this situation is not 'no, never', but 'whoa, hold on, can't you see this isn't really the best idea right now?' and to try and think about it all.

And that makes me a twat and an arse and all the rest of it...

Alestorm Tue 30-Jun-09 15:14:45

Oh do fuck off, there's a dear.

MisterAlestorm Tue 30-Jun-09 15:20:58

Yeah. Because that's really going to bring me round to your point of view.

HellHathNoFury Tue 30-Jun-09 15:21:12

YABU

You might not have to clean up the crap, but you you might live 5 doors down from me and I might have to clean up the crap.

This is purely my own opinion, but I don't like cats, I don't think cats and small kids mix, cats kill local wildlfe and leave nuggets of toxoplasmosis in my flowerbeds.

The only good cat is a house cat.

HellHathNoFury Tue 30-Jun-09 15:25:24

ooh I didn't realise I stepped into a domestic!

As you were grin

MisterAlestorm Tue 30-Jun-09 15:29:50

Message withdrawn

MisterAlestorm Tue 30-Jun-09 15:36:39

I'm now being told I 'got what i wanted'.

Can someone please try to point out that I really didn't, as an argument over this was the last thing I wanted, and in an ideal world, i'd love loads of cats around the house.

MisterAlestorm Tue 30-Jun-09 15:47:23

Anyway - does anyone else have any input on this?

HellHathNoFury Tue 30-Jun-09 15:49:00

I think you've scared them all off.

It's only a cat ffs.

Give me a mutt any day grin

MisterAlestorm Tue 30-Jun-09 15:59:18

I don't think 'it's only a cat' will go down well, and I wouldn't say that.

Part of the reason I feel like I'm being really put out here is because I actually like cats and do want one! Just not now and not like this and I don't want to be sworn at and insulted in discussions about it, because I'm not going along with what DW wants.

SoupDragon Tue 30-Jun-09 15:59:36

"does anyone else have any input on this? "

Yes. You both need to grow up.

Alestorm Tue 30-Jun-09 16:00:52

HHNF - it's not really about the cat. As i said further down, the cats have been rehomed to a shelter, so that particular ship has sailed. It's more the fact that "d"h feels he can hand judgements down from on high and treat me like a small child who doesn't know any better. I mean, "It doesn't exactly feel like she's thinking like a sensible grown-up over the issue, and has been swayed by beautiful kittens with big eyes and soft fur mewling gently at her."

Really? Hence, do fuck off, there's a dear.

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