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AIBU?

to think that people who are griefstricken over the death of celebrities have serious issues and may even be in need of professional help?

53 replies

wannaBe · 30/06/2009 13:49

I'm not talking about the ones who shed a tear/think about said celebrity all day on the day it's announced and then move on with their lives. But the ones who head out to lay tributes/who camp outside the home/travel for thousands of miles to attend the funeral/who tell people they are grieving.

This morning there was a michael jackson fan on GMTV talking about the o2 tickets, and he was saying that he couldn't yet figure out what to do about whether to have a refund or a souvenir ticket because he was so overcome with grief that at the moment he is unable to think straight.

And we get this every time someone in the public eye dies.

And it really isn't normal, and I can't help thinking that these people who need to grieve like this for someone they've never met must clearly have some serious issues in their own lives that they are unable to address, and that the public grieving somehow gives them an outlet.

OP posts:

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girlylala0807 · 30/06/2009 13:51

yanbu

Some people need to get a grip

PM73 · 30/06/2009 13:54

YAB a bit U. tbh they arent hurting anyone are they?

Yes it is a bit strange to really mourn over a 'stranger' but to these people the celeb wasnt a 'stranger' but a friend.I dont know,i am just trying to see it from both sides.

Bucharest · 30/06/2009 13:55

YANBU at all...I've discussed this on another forum, many times...it's grief-haggery, grief-hijacking.
Yet when they are called out on it, it's you with the problem, for being cold and unfeeling.
These people don't just do it with famous people either. They do it all the time on these forums....compassion and sympathy are fine and honest desirable emotions to have, and to show, but when people are posting about others who, let's face it, they don't know, to use hyperbole like "devastated" is just weird.

Nancy66 · 30/06/2009 13:55

Michael Jackson has always attracted his own unique breed of fan (ie nutters) - remember the woman with the doves at the court case?

MJ was an oddball and he seems to attract like for like.

Lulumama · 30/06/2009 13:58

then if people do have serious issues, they don't deserve contempt...

people who have followed a sleb for decades and collected information, memoribilia, gone to concerts, etc etc do feel like they have lost a true friend .

people who might not be able forge real relationships in real life might well fixate more on a sleb, as someone distant, who is not complicated or demanding

it causes no-one any harm, except acutally to themselves. which is quite sad really.

JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 30/06/2009 13:59

YANBU, they're weird.

Callisto · 30/06/2009 14:09

It reminds me of a couple of posters on the Madeleine McCann threads who described themselves as 'devastated' etc and seemed to become very emotionally attached to a little girl they had never met. It is very, very strange.

Iklboo · 30/06/2009 14:12

When Diana died a manager at work asked me if I had cried. When I said no she had this big screaming go at me. I was a bit stunned to say the least.

Meglet · 30/06/2009 14:13

yanbu. getting that attached to a celeb is not healthy.

mylifemykids · 30/06/2009 14:13

Apparently 7 or 8 fans have committed suicide since hearing of his death. It's bizarre

TheProfiteroleThief · 30/06/2009 14:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lulumama · 30/06/2009 14:19

i think though you have to ask what is lacking in peoples' lives ,that they feel they have no purpose or value, to be galvanised into action by something happening to someone they don;t know

e.g two local women who went to moroco to follow up sightings of Madelaine McCann

i can;t get my head around that

but i don't feel contempt or scorn

Callisto · 30/06/2009 14:19

Well yes, but there is empathising and then there is getting into such a state that you cry all night and can't sleep (as I'm sure one poster stated).
The suicide thing is very bizarre.

WinkyWinkola · 30/06/2009 14:22

I don't think it's normal either. I feel sorry for them because I think it's odd.

But then they will get over it because it's not like they actually have lost a relative that they had a meaningful, two way relationship with.

Nancy66 · 30/06/2009 14:24

my best friend got married on the day of Diana's funeral - she'd been planning her wedding for a year, yet it's astonishing the number of people that expected her to cancel it.

a few people didn't attend because they didn't think it was appropriate.

The priest even asked if she wanted diana mentioned in the service - it was bonkers.

IpeeFreely · 30/06/2009 14:24

urgh

Competitive sadding

Emotional vampirism

Overmydeadbody · 30/06/2009 14:25

yanbu

It is not normal, it is very very wierd.

wasabipeanut · 30/06/2009 14:28

YANBU at all. I find this competitive grieving thing very wierd and distasteful. Life goes on. I got very uncomfortable with the constant emoting after Diana died.

Taking a moment to feel a little sad and remember someone is one thing but calling in sick to work on the day of MJ's death saying you are too upset to work (one of DH's colleagues) is another.

southeastastra · 30/06/2009 14:30

who cares, nowt as queer as folk and all that. lol at professional help.

barnsleybelle · 30/06/2009 14:31

I think anyone who claims to be grieving and overcome by the death of someone they have never met/had relationship with etc etc have clearly never really known grief.

UnquietDad · 30/06/2009 14:32

The whole Diana thing annoyed me because it was so counter-productive.

If everyone who had spent £5 on a bunch of manky cellophane-wrapped flowers to show off their Competitive Grieving had donated it to one of her charities, they would immediately have done something positive as a result of her death - which, presumably, deep down, what they were after.

spokette · 30/06/2009 14:34

YABU

If it is not normal, why does it happen all the time.

I was shocked to the core when I heard of MJ's death. I admire him and love his music. I cried (I must be a real saddo then, huh). I am saddened by his untimely death and the fact that he will never make brilliant music again and I will never get to see him live. I am saddened at the devastation and loss for his children and for his mother as well as his siblings.

There is nothing competitive, moronic or voyagistic about my sadness.

What I find sad is the self-righteous, smug perfectos who think there is something wrong with expressing one's feelings.

MJ meant a lot to many people and if that is how they want to express their feelings, respect and loyalties, leave them to it. They are not hurting you or anyone.

spokette · 30/06/2009 14:36

I personally would not spend money on flowers or anything like that. However, if that is how others want to spend their money, it is nobody else's business.

southeastastra · 30/06/2009 14:37

my mum laid flowers for diana and donated.

think that was just quite nice actually.

ABetaDad · 30/06/2009 14:38

The thing that annoys me is the way the news channels just go on and on about it. The reason being that it is 'cheap' news, ready packaged space filler that takes no research or effort to gather the story.

Fine, report that Michael Jackson is dead and his funeral perhaps but for goodness sake, why do we have to have Sky reporting it non stop?

I think that feeds the 'fake' hysteria more than anything else.

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