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to think I am going to have to change my identity and leave the country because of this...

(60 Posts)
VerityClinch Tue 30-Jun-09 11:38:59

Am 38+3, and booked for an elective CS the day after tomorrow due to major placenta praevia. Am somewhat anxious, suffering from pregnancy brain, melting in the heat and all-round a bit out of touch with reality.

Spent the morning so far lying in bed, in a tshirt which now covers not much more than my boobs, under the fan.

The doorbell rang, and, without even thinking, I got up out of bed, went downstairs and answered it. It was the Ocado man. I stood there, in just the tshirt, my hairy fanjo on display (for clarity, one of the items in my order is VEET) to the entire neighbourhood without even realising.

To his credit, Ocadoman did not bat an eyelid, although he certainly wasn't in the mood for chatting and was in and out of the house very quickly!

I only realised once I had shut the door.

And now I am mortified. AIBU to think the only practical solution to this is to get immediate facial reconstructive surgery, assume a false identity and leave the country forever? What ON EARTH must that man be thinking?

SparklyGothKat Tue 30-Jun-09 12:55:01

PSML!! grin My BIL, SIL and brother all work at Ocado wink I bet I hear the story from one of them too

suwoo Tue 30-Jun-09 13:09:03

OMG!!!!!!!!!! shock

I am 34 weeks and if your hairy lady garden is anything like mine, it is not fit to be seen by another human being.

Just marking my place on the thread to show DH later wink.

expatinscotland Tue 30-Jun-09 13:10:58

PMSL! I've done some messed up things, but never anything that BAD!

CherryChoc Tue 30-Jun-09 13:19:56

Once I had a Tesco delivery and was bending down to pick up the items, the man (a young lad actually blush) suddenly seemed insistent that he could carry it through to the kitchen for me if I wanted, I merrily declined and carried on unpacking the shopping not realising that since I had a fairly baggy top on and my feeding bra open he probably had a very good view right down my top blush

CherryChoc Tue 30-Jun-09 13:20:58

Oh also I used to answer the phone (in the windowsill, we live on a busy street) with my norks out when bf... it seems the instinct to cover up is not there when answering the phone!

expatinscotland Tue 30-Jun-09 13:24:13

Once I was climbing in a sports top thingie. One strap was really loose on my shoulder and it had come down and I didn't realise my left boob was on full display until I heard a voice on the route next to me say, 'This climbing shit's the bomb! I'm coming back tomorrow night!'

My ex boyfriend was belaying me and didn't say a word! angry

hairygodmother Tue 30-Jun-09 13:26:56

Actually, I don't think it does get worse after you've had the baby Verity, but I think you'll find that gradually you care less! Hairy fanjo in public? Whatever ... Once you've been puked on and been mauled all over, showing your fanjo to people will be nothing ... Hilarious story tho, good luck with c-section smile

StealthPolarBear Tue 30-Jun-09 13:33:00


expatinscotland Tue 30-Jun-09 13:39:16

Just think of it this way, OP, stories like yours are the stuff of urban legend!

JackBauer Tue 30-Jun-09 14:14:02

Sorry, but that's hystericalgrin

When DD2 was small I was Bfing her in a wrap, but it was hot, so I took my bra and top off, so basically a blue wrap around me in just a pair of PJ shorts, and then PIL's arrived.
MIL ahem'ed about 5 minutes after arrival saying 'Do you want me to watch the DD's while you get dressed?
I nearly didn't come back downstairs.

funtimewincies Tue 30-Jun-09 14:26:17

But I don't were wearing a t-shirt. Sounds suitably respectable to me, anything else is just accessorising grin!

Lilyloo Tue 30-Jun-09 14:29:54

Lol makes my going out with two odd shoes on with pg befuddled brain a minor blip grin
Hope you have another source of grocery shopping for the future!

Deeeja Tue 30-Jun-09 14:51:32

This has made me laugh so much grin
Was having a really terrible feeling sorry for myself sulky day, you snapped me out of it.

dawntigga Tue 30-Jun-09 15:12:17

OMG that made me laugh


PricklyVelvet Tue 30-Jun-09 15:15:51

most hilarious thing i have read all day...sorry

leothelioness Tue 30-Jun-09 15:18:26

Oh i just snorted tea up my nose, that is so funny.
I have to give the delivery man credit for being too polite to mention it.

giveloveachance Tue 30-Jun-09 15:21:44


and yes pregnancy brain does get worse when baby brain takes over....

leave notes out for yourself....

step 1 - get DRESSED

step 2 - check in the mirror that you are in fact DRESSED

step 3 - open the door

good luck with your elective c section and try and get as much rest as you can - you will need it!!


oh and no need to leave the country - when the ocardo man gets back to his depot, no-one will believe him!! they will think its a wind up!!

bellavita Tue 30-Jun-09 15:22:15

Oh bless you grin you have made me laugh..

KerryMumbles Tue 30-Jun-09 15:23:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

If your pubes are as overgrown as mine were at the end of pregnancy when I could no longer properly reach nevermind see, he probably thought you were wearing dark knickers anyway until you turned round grin

merryberry Tue 30-Jun-09 15:28:05

>sits on hands<
>sits on hands harder<
>nails hands to floor<
>rips them out<

...he got there for your delivery slot OK then...

>apologises and leaves the planet<

audreyraines Tue 30-Jun-09 15:29:42

if it makes it better i order ocado nearly every week, and hardly ever get the same driver. just mix up your days and time slots and hope for the best!

Baisey Tue 30-Jun-09 16:08:45

Yes at least it was Ocado.
Heaven forbid if an ASDA delivery man had seen your fanjo. grin
And also you do know if you do keep getting the same delivery man now, you've pulled!

differentID Tue 30-Jun-09 16:10:33


don't stress about it.

Just keep a loose skirt handy next delivery!

sarah293 Tue 30-Jun-09 16:10:50

Message withdrawn

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