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AIBU?

AIBU to not go along with my husband who wants to sack our cleaner?

87 replies

Danceaway · 30/06/2009 11:36

She gets a lot done in 2 1/2 hrs but dh nitpicks about things she misses (dust in crevice in bathroom after supopsedly mopped); I said we've got a big house and she needs more time! He said Get someone else. I have a good relationship with her after 18 mo's of weekly visits. I stay in the house (dh insists) while she's here - so I know how hard she works. I don't think anyone else would do a better job and don't want to have to find another cleaner I like and trust who can do the hours I need on the day I want. But dh is in a right strop.
He also doesn't think I iron his shirts well enough (despite investing in steam generator iron which is amazing); he'd like our cleaner to do them but when she did them before he said they weren't good enough. I think he just wants to sack her as he is a miserable sod who doesn't like me having help with 'my job' when he doesn't get help with his!! Help!

OP posts:

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kormachameleon · 30/06/2009 11:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

talbot · 30/06/2009 11:52

2 1/2 hours isn't a huge amount of time to do a house. Have you tried spray starch on the shirts? My DH would be far too scared to complain to me but I do find it makes a big difference.

stillstanding · 30/06/2009 11:54

YANBU. If you are there and know what she does and are comfortable that she is doing a good job then it is not for him to interfere. The next cleaner will suffer the same fate and in the meantime some poor deserving girl has lost her job.

spicemonster · 30/06/2009 11:54

Your cleaner does 2.5 hours and you have a big house and she does ironing in that time? No wonder she doesn't do a great job. My cleaner is here 2 hours and I have a 2 bedroom flat.

Why don't you send the shirts to a laundry/ironing service and leave her to clean. And if he doesn't like that, how about he irons them himself?!

stillstanding · 30/06/2009 11:55

Incidentally we have just changed cleaners as our previous one wanted more money but I so wish we had just paid up. It really is quite hard finding someone good who you can trust and rely on.

bamboostalks · 30/06/2009 11:57

Your husband sounds a bit of an arse really.

hullygully · 30/06/2009 11:59

Squeeze and twist his testicles really hard while smiling pleasantly.

VinegarTits · 30/06/2009 12:00

He sounds like a control freak

hmc · 30/06/2009 12:04

I couldn't be married to your dh. How do you do it!

CoffeeCrazedMama · 30/06/2009 12:09

'He doesn't get help with his job' - sorry, there are very few jobs that exist in a vacuum (arguably motherhood is one though!) - I presume he has a secretary, or there is an office assistant, postroom person, cleaner, etc at his office?

My cleaner is here for 4 hours, a small terrace, and she doesn't stop. Two-and-a-half wouldn't be enough for more than a lick and a polish.

Bathsheba · 30/06/2009 12:13

I think when he comes out with nonsense l;ike that you nod, smile, say "Yes Dear" and carry on doping exactly as you were before.

If he is so so so so so busy at work, where no-one helps him, then would he even know who was cleaning the house??

DrunkenDaisy · 30/06/2009 12:17

Jesus - my DH wouldn't dare speak to me like that.

Tell him to go and fuck himself. What a twat.

nametaken · 30/06/2009 12:22

Oh dear, everything I was going to say had already been said.

Those mumsnetters don't mince their words do they

AliGrylls · 30/06/2009 12:22

Tell him to do it himself if he thinks he can do better.

2 1/2 hrs is nothing for a house. We live in a town house and our cleaner does 4 hours everytime she comes and she often stays an extra half hour for free. Your DH is expecting way too much.

Danceaway · 30/06/2009 12:22

Thank you thank you everyone - wish I had the guts to show him your answers - I know, our house is 4 bed 3 recep and 2 bathrooms and our cleaner does an incredible amount in that time. I know it's not long so I asked her when she started to do different things here and there eg windows one week cobwebs the next as she sees fit and she gets on with it brilliantly. I did go off on one in a big way with dh - he said sack the cleaner or he goes - and I said she's staying. He said, So you'd rather have the cleaner than me?? This is what I am dealing with! I accused him of being a miserable sod who had no frame of reference for what he's talking about. If I started on all the things that drive me crazy about him I'd be here all day - he is a control freak who doesn't seem to appreciate me; we used to be equal partners when both worked but I feel he's wanting me to be more and more of a Stepford Wife!

OP posts:

nametaken · 30/06/2009 12:24

Oh please show dh our answers. - and add a special little "eat shit" from me

Pinkjenny · 30/06/2009 12:24

She sounds amazing! God, my cleaner does 3 hours a week and we have a three bed semi! Sounds like an enormous overreaction on his part to threaten to leave unless you sack the cleaner!

differentID · 30/06/2009 12:24

tell him that he has to do the work himslef in the same amount of time.

nametaken · 30/06/2009 12:26

I also vote you get rid of dh and keep the cleaner.

Danceaway · 30/06/2009 12:27

Oh hee hee I think on balance it's the right call.
I have emailed him saying life's too short to stay mad and if he wants to apologise and admit he's being an arse then we can move on.
Am waiting on his reply...

OP posts:

nametaken · 30/06/2009 12:30

I'll tell you a secret. We used to have a cleaning service that as Merry Maids and really expensive. Well, I decided that I wanted the money for myself so I kept the money and did the work. My stoopid dh didn't even notice, although I was nowhere near as good and thorough as Merry Maids.

What about just agreeing with dh and pretending you got rid of the cleaner?

katiestar · 30/06/2009 12:31

Would employment legislation apply if she's been with you for 18 months ?

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QuintessentialShadow · 30/06/2009 12:32

I think I have gone through 5-6 cleaners, getting one that is decent is hard enough, let alone finding one that also manages to get all specs of dust, too!

I had a 3 bed semi, the cleaner spent 3 hours. The last one I had did a great job.

But beware, the cleaner who makes it look extra good, may not actually be making it any cleaner, just spreading the germs...

I have caught 2 cleaners using the same cloth to clean the kitchen worktops AFTER cleaning the toilet with the same cloth....

Lilymaid · 30/06/2009 12:33

Another vote for sacking the DH. 2.5 hours is insufficient to fully clean a large house (I know from experience).

imaynotbeperfectbutimokmummy · 30/06/2009 12:36

its your job to iron his shirts? Is this a post from the 1950s that has been ressurected?? I suspect your DH has issues with you not doing it rather than the cleaner. Tell him to get over himself.

Dust in the crevice in the bathroom ??? Does he have OCD?

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