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To have dished out a punishment that was promised at the weekend?

(55 Posts)
LovingTheRain Mon 29-Jun-09 16:03:15

Yesterday DD1 was behaving in a really silly way and not doing as she had been asked.
I gave her a warning and then told her that if she carried on she would not be allowed to meet up with her friends at the pool after school today. She carried on and i told her that she was not going to be going swimming etc etc. I don't think she thought i was going to go through with it but i have blush
When we got home this afternoon she got her swimming things and asked if i could drop her off and i reminded her that she would not be going because of her behaviour yesterday. She's been crying and sulking on the sofa telling me what an awful mummy i am etc hmm for about 20 mins now. Atleast she won't be doing it again any time soon!! grin

I don't think IABU as she knew what the consequence would be yesterday.

Am I BU?

mrsruffallo Mon 29-Jun-09 16:04:40

I don't know, does the severity of the punishment fit the crime?

bumpybecky Mon 29-Jun-09 16:05:07

how old is she?

littleducks Mon 29-Jun-09 16:05:20

how old is she?

muffle Mon 29-Jun-09 16:05:35

God no, you have to follow through with this kind of thing. It's not that serious is it? - she can go again soon. How old is she?

Colonelcupcake Mon 29-Jun-09 16:06:50

I don't know what her behaviour was so can't comment on that, however, I would have given her the opportunity to earn it back (simply to avoid mummy guilt)

LovingTheRain Mon 29-Jun-09 16:07:59

She's 10 and was going to be meeting four of her friends and one of their Mothers at the pool. I rung her friend's mum to explain so they weren't looking for her!

Mutt Mon 29-Jun-09 16:08:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

theyoungvisiter Mon 29-Jun-09 16:08:36

I'm not sure if YABU or not - but I think the punishment sounds a bit odd and random. Why not do something more appropriate at the time?

LovingTheRain Mon 29-Jun-09 16:09:10

She can go again soon yes grin. We have a pool in the back garden anyway so it's not like i am depriving her of her swim!

5inthebed Mon 29-Jun-09 16:09:10

She is 10, she is old enough to know what is right and wrong. YANBU.

bumpybecky Mon 29-Jun-09 16:10:39

at age 10 YANBU

idranktheteaatwork Mon 29-Jun-09 16:11:53


Child is naughty, child gets a warning to stop, child carries on, child is told of the consequence if behaviour carries on, child realises the consequence.....

Have no idea why you would describe that as odd or random. Has more of an impact than " no telly for an hour" or no pudding etc etc.

10 is plenty old enough to know why she is not going swimming.

Mutt Mon 29-Jun-09 16:12:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

muffle Mon 29-Jun-09 16:12:54

I think it's good on occasion to actually show you mean business - and although it's given her a shock because she didn't believe you would, it's actually a fairly harmless consequence. She hasn't missed a big do or someone's birthday or anything. And hopefully she'll remember (or you can remind her) next time you say "If you don't behave I will xxxxxx AND I MEAN IT".

She'll respect you more for it.

<schoolmarm emoticon>

Mintyy Mon 29-Jun-09 16:15:26

Yanbu. I feel a little sorry for your dd (she is learning a hard lesson) but not because I think you've done anything wrong at all smile

dilemma456 Mon 29-Jun-09 16:15:51

Message withdrawn

katiestar Mon 29-Jun-09 16:16:56

YABU as I don't think
a}it is fair to give backword to the other girls and mum
b} I think it is abit humiliating as it involves explaining to others why she won't be coming.

stoppingat3 Mon 29-Jun-09 16:28:12

YABalittlebitU, Not from stopping her going as that is what you threatened, but maybe next time you could chose something less public for her to lose.
Its really hard but I remember a mum at school who kept calling me and saying that my DS couldn't come as her son had "lost" him playing.
Bit unfair on my DS and probably unfair on the other girls at the pool.
(does that make sense?)

PeedOffWithNits Mon 29-Jun-09 16:38:36

NBU at all, tell that what you expect them to do/not do, threaten with consequences, if ignored carry through!

Bathsheba Mon 29-Jun-09 16:42:48

My concern is that the punishment isn't immediate - she was naughty yesterday and you are punishing her by not letting her do something today - so that has elongated the whole process, and yesterday's naughtiness hasn't been put to bed and moved on from....its still "active" today because the matter isn't closed off.

Was there not something more immediate that she could have been made to do without yesterday (TV, computer game etc etc)

lisasimpson Mon 29-Jun-09 16:46:17

agree with Batsheba - quite right to follow it through but would consider something more immediate next time.

sweetfall Mon 29-Jun-09 16:47:51

at 10 you're doing completely the right thing IMO

pranma Mon 29-Jun-09 16:47:54

Its just a bit hard that her friends and her friend's mum have to know she is being punished-the 'crime' was at home so I feel the consequences should be private too.However you were right to follow through.

ABetaDad Mon 29-Jun-09 17:18:50

YANBU - DS1 had similar treatment from us age 9.

I know it is not 'positive parentng' but it works.

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