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to get highly irritate with feeling judged at every turn??

(38 Posts)
GhostOfPsychomum5 Mon 29-Jun-09 10:25:48

nothing in particular, and no one in particular, but I just feel that whatever we do nowadays seem to induce a judgefest, and it gets irritating!!

I am trying to be confident enough in my skin/mind/parenting skills to start thinking that I don;t give a flying fuck what others think of me, and then, some stupid tiny comment (be it here, in the papers, on the radio etc) and I start feeling all inadequate and unsure of myself again.

<<argh>>

Nahui Mon 29-Jun-09 10:28:19

Message withdrawn

yappybluedog Mon 29-Jun-09 10:29:06

I know exactly what you mean, everything is analysed and debated and discussed

just shut it will 'ya

TrinityRhino Mon 29-Jun-09 10:29:24

AAAAGGGGHHHHHHH a ghost!

seriously though
DONT LET IT GET TO YOU

if you want to wear star patterned trainer thingies
knickers in your hair
no bra
and a furry grey caot that looks like a chincilla

then just dont let what anyone says bother you.......cause I dont grin

GhostOfPsychomum5 Mon 29-Jun-09 10:30:40

it so is isn;t it!

I have put on a small amount of weight recently, much needed according to my DH. but god I feel as tho all the mums up at the school are probably noticing and judging me for it.

they probably are not of course, I just feel paraniod like they are...........I mean, a sleb puts on 1lb and they are slated for letting themselves go!!(mind you, that is normally in the daily hate which we should all avoid anywaywink)

GhostOfPsychomum5 Mon 29-Jun-09 10:31:29

lol trinity

<<whooooo>>

CountessDracula Mon 29-Jun-09 10:36:02

You should be irritated with yourself
as you say people prob don't even notice
try addressing your self esteem issues as getting annoyed with others for your feelings is totally pointless

AMumInScotland Mon 29-Jun-09 10:40:07

Do you notice other people putting on a pound or two? Personally, I don't - and I live my life on the assumption that other people probably don't notice either.

Back in my teens I was very insecure and thought everyone was noticing and judging every little detail about me, but I got more confident with age, as I realised that they were probably all so busy fretting about whether I was judging them that they wouldn't notice or care!

You just have to learn to shrug it off.

GhostOfPsychomum5 Mon 29-Jun-09 10:42:33

CD, I know that, and am trying to not let things get to me, but christ, occasionally it does, hence the moaning on herewinkgrin

muminscotland, nah..........normally notice them for looking fab TBH. weight gain or loss never even occurs to me on others......really cannot get why it irks me so much for ME.

<<shrug>>

need a thicker skin I think!

cat64 Mon 29-Jun-09 11:04:19

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McSnail Mon 29-Jun-09 11:35:28

I judge people all the time (I don't necessarily verbalise it all the time)and it's a fact of life that others judge too. Those people who judge those who judge (see what I did there?)are unrealistic, imo.

Frankly, I'm a bit like teflon when people judge me - I suppose I'm a bit arrogant when it comes to my own beliefs/what I think is right etc, and other peoples' judgements don't upset me (in general)

Nothing wrong with a bit of judging.

Although I agree with the poster who suggests that some people don't seem to have anything more important to do.

V. entertaining though - on mumsnet, the AIBU forum is my favourite.

TrillianAstrahasaJOB Mon 29-Jun-09 11:45:48

If they are thinking anything they are probably thinking you look better (gain of bum is a good thing). But unless you've made a drastic change I doubt school-gate people wil notice.

Stop being paranoid.

missmem Mon 29-Jun-09 11:48:09

OP, posting on Mumsnet is not going to help these feelings! wink

MamaLazarou Mon 29-Jun-09 11:48:38

I can't imagine giving a shit what people think of me and my weight/heels/opinions/whatever. It must be horrible.

GhostOfPsychomum5 Mon 29-Jun-09 11:54:11

missmem, I know....own worst enemy reallywink

ach, probably got PMT!!

TrillianAstrahasaJOB Mon 29-Jun-09 12:00:36

Uh-oh, if you've got PMT and 2 3 (kind of) teenage girls you know what's coming next!

GhostOfPsychomum5 Mon 29-Jun-09 12:05:19

yup, hell will break loose tonight and the world will blow upwink!!

ought to go buy some wine in prep really.....

they are all tired and irritable today too, and home.........all were up till gone 11pm doing the dance show last night at the pavilion, and were there from 8.30am. will make the yelling oh so much more funhmm.

TrillianAstrahasaJOB Mon 29-Jun-09 12:14:31

Grumpyness not allowed, it's a sunny day.

Them's the rules.

GhostOfPsychomum5 Mon 29-Jun-09 12:17:31

really??

tis very windy here!!

right, I really need to go wake them up and make 'em tidy their rooms....they not getting a completely lazy day..........all the rehearsing for the last 4wks has meant trashed rooms<<argh>>

Ledodgy Mon 29-Jun-09 12:23:18

Judging has always gone on though hasn't it? Look at how women used to be judged on how clean their front step was ffs.

TrillianAstrahasaJOB Mon 29-Jun-09 12:23:42

I thought you were complaining that they would be tired and grumpy! They shouldn't be tired if they've all been in bed til now!

Sunny here, although I am looking at it out of a window so don't know if it's windy or not.

GhostOfPsychomum5 Mon 29-Jun-09 12:27:02

very true ledodgy.......maybe we should bring back doorstep judging, then we will stop caring about everything elsewink

trillian, DD3 woke up tired and grumpy, went back to sleep...........DD1 now awake, also grump........DD2 will be a mare to wake, and will stay grumpy regardless simply because that is what she does best on days after showshmm<<sigh>>

TsarChasm Mon 29-Jun-09 12:28:10

YANBU. In some ways mn is the worst thing for me. I was quite happy bombing along pre mn days.

Now if I mentally 'mummsnet filter' what I'm doing/thinking etc I know much of it would induce mass tutting if I posted it on here.

It is hard not to doubt yourself when you regularly tune into the opinions of quite a few hundred other mothers.

I'm almost glad I didn't discover it when my dc were small babies and I was at my most confused and vulnerable. While this is a good source of support and info it has a very definate other side to it and you often need quite a thick skin on here.

TrillianAstrahasaJOB Mon 29-Jun-09 12:37:40

If I were doing a non-MN-acceptable thing (and if I realised) then I would be walking along trying to suppress a smirk and checking passers-by for catsbumface to identify MNers. grin

GhostOfPsychomum5 Mon 29-Jun-09 13:02:18

yeah, maybe I should just go out with the children all mismatched, me with bra-straps showing, feed everyone a greggs sausage roll and fruit shoots, and then wait for the judging, get it all out my system, and then I can relax into normal mode againwinkgrin

tsarcharm, that was me too........MN has a lot to answer forwink

actually, pre-interweb I never cared or knew people judged so much. I blame who-ever invented that TBHwink

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