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To be annoyed with xDP for taking off the condom

(84 Posts)
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Mon 29-Jun-09 09:16:45

ok, I have been single for a long time but have still regularly sleeping with xDP, we have never used condoms and we had a condition that if we slept with anybody else unprotected we would tell each other and start using condoms.

Recently I ended up have unprotected sex and told xDP about this and he came over last night and we ended up getting together, we used condoms but when he was taking me from behind he took off the condom.

Then I got annoyed with him for being so stupid, I was still annoyed at myself for being so stupid, and was lecturing him about STDs and had a go at him and he said it wasn't all his fault, which I felt very angry about because I still love him and wanted to wear a condom because I didn't want to risk passing anything on.

so, AIBU to be annoyed at him?
And is he BU to think that it is partly my fault when I didn't even want him to have unprotected sex with me?

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Mon 29-Jun-09 09:25:50

Sorry for namechange, I just don't make a habit of letting people know I still sleep with my xDP.

Perfectgangofthree Mon 29-Jun-09 09:28:57

And they say the Age of Romance is dead hmm

Go and get yourself checked out at a STD clinic.

Tortington Mon 29-Jun-09 09:30:11

its all wrong.

why are you sleeping with your ex?

as far as i am concerned you have risked yourself - which is the most stupid thing to do

you told him - he made a choice - thats his look out

get yourself checked out

mrsjammi Mon 29-Jun-09 09:31:15

Message withdrawn

Trikken Mon 29-Jun-09 09:31:57

In a way Yanbu to be annoyed at him cos he shouldnt have taken it off but in a way Yabu as you should have made sure he was wearing it, I know this is easier said than done tho.

NorbertDentressangle Mon 29-Jun-09 09:33:42

Putting aside all the questions I have about why you're even having sex with your ex......

Why are you worrying about your ex getting a STD when you have put yourself at risk by having unprotected sex with this other guy?

You told your ex, it was his choice to remove condom, don't worry about him...worry about yourself

spicemonster Mon 29-Jun-09 09:34:39

YANBU to be pissed off that he took off the condom without telling him but YABVU having unprotected sex with more than one man. Very silly behaviour

spicemonster Mon 29-Jun-09 09:35:24

telling him? Good grief - need more coffee. Telling you I meant, obv

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight Mon 29-Jun-09 09:36:03

YABVU in everything

Why are you sleeping with exDP when you still love him? End in tears.

Why did you have unprotected sex with someone else?

Why is your priority not passing on an STI to your ex?

Your original AIBU Qu is beside the point.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Mon 29-Jun-09 09:39:39

I know, it's all wrong, I just keep finding comfort in xDPs arms whenever anything goes wrong

I wish I could just get him out of my head, but I can't.

I was stupid and niave, the other guy told me that he wanted to be with me and that he gets dchecked out whenever he has unprotected swex, and doesnt sleep with anyone unless he is in a relationship, I fell for it hook line and sinker, I am a mug.

He was the first person I had slept with since xDP and in a way i thought it woiuld help me get over him, we keep in yoyoing back to each other.

I wish I could move on

ReneRusso Mon 29-Jun-09 09:39:48

agree with Norbert, Custardo, you told him, he had a choice, don't be cross with him. I guess you are projecting the anger with yourself a bit onto him. Anger not just about the unproteced sex, but anger that you are still sleeping with him?

BreevandercampLGJ Mon 29-Jun-09 09:41:20

we used condoms but when he was taking me from behind he took off the condom.

Why is this relevant ?

Is this just a bum sex thread by stealth ??grin

kormachameleon Mon 29-Jun-09 09:41:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ReneRusso Mon 29-Jun-09 09:42:17

sorry Grrr, cross post. I think you can move on. The first step is to recognise that you are not comfortable with this situation and it needs to change

kormachameleon Mon 29-Jun-09 09:43:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BreevandercampLGJ Mon 29-Jun-09 09:43:52

All joking aside, you unhappiness is shining through.

Please try and make a clean break from this man, he clearly has no respect for you.

Ivykaty44 Mon 29-Jun-09 09:46:31

Did you want a reaction from your exdp that you slept with someother guy? I think you need to sort your head out first and then get your fanny sorted, you need to do both for the sake of your health

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Mon 29-Jun-09 09:46:51

BVC, you made me smile for the first time this morning, I didn't mean bum sex, just taken from behind (aka doggy blush)

Korma, he said he had done it because he thought that it is what I want, I had been a bit sad earlier on in the night because I had realised that being together with my xDP would be barriered, it is silly but I had thought (pre sleeping together) that sex without a condom would be less intimate.

(he wasnt trying to get my pg, am on the coil)

mrsjammi Mon 29-Jun-09 09:47:13

Message withdrawn

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Mon 29-Jun-09 09:49:46

The point off saying that it was when i was being taken from behind is i was saying that it was then he took the condom off, i didn't see it at all.

In fact the only reason I actually realised is he started getting more noisy blush

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Mon 29-Jun-09 09:52:18

I know I am selling myself short, I know he has no respect for me, but I get so lonely at night and dont have any friends

kormachameleon Mon 29-Jun-09 09:56:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kormachameleon Mon 29-Jun-09 09:58:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nahui Mon 29-Jun-09 10:01:43

Message withdrawn

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