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To think that I shouldn't have to choose like this?

(3 Posts)
Schnullerbacke Sat 27-Jun-09 21:14:20

I'll try to keep this as brief as possible.

Since I can remember my parents have always argued, threatened to get divorced only to get back together again. At the moment, they are having a 'hate phase' again and are not talking to each other, I would expect this to last for the next couple of month. As crap as this is, its ok, I have learned to live with it and can work around it.

Now, they also have a really nice allotment garden, massive place with a little garden house on it where they used to stay at the weekend. Mum has decided that she doesn't want to go there anymore (sees garden neighbours husband and wife have nice chats etc and is jealous as she doesn't have it with her husband, thinks that everything has to be done as my Dad says although that is totally not true as she can be quite pushy herself).

Anyway, my DH wants to take his PILs to Berlin to show them around and also have another friend come along. The plan is that the parents stay in the garden house and DH & friend camp on the lawn.

Mum hasn't said it out loud (although came up with lots of reasons why it may be better for them all to stay elsewhere) but I think she doesn't want them all to stay there. Reason I guess it because it would look odd if she doesn't come to the garden.

AIBU to still go ahead with the plan and let everyone stay there even though I know she rather wouldn't? Fine, she doesn't get along with Dad and doesn't want to spend time in the garden but should that also impact on my life? Would make things pretty awkward if they wanted to have a BBQ.....

I rambled, sorry but I hope it makes sense.
I'm just sick of always having to consider her feelings since she instigates most of the arguments.....

Schnullerbacke Sat 27-Jun-09 21:33:32

Am probably being VU for bumping myself but really need to me told

MadameDefarge Sat 27-Jun-09 21:38:34

Was this planned and agreed before your parents fell out? If so, YANBU, if it was planned after, and she does not want to agree, I'm afraid I would have to say that YABU, as it is her garden! Has your dad said it was ok and she said no? In that case, I would stay well out of it and stay elsewhere.

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