To think this country is sooooo un-child friendly

[imanidiot]

That's it really.

Wherever you go with kids it seems like they get scorned, frowned at or told to be quiet.

I.e. in a well known noodles restaurant, beginning with a W....and DD was in the entrance foyer. She was playing with a relative (a grown up) when a man who worked there told her to shhhhh. (she was not in anyones way and away from the diners) He was making fruit juices with an industrial juice maker FGS - which was way more noisy and the place was full of toddlers!

I cant stand this country's unfriendliness towards children. I get that overly noisy children shouting or running around is annoying, I understand that is annoying in restaurants, I take DD out or bring lots of books and crayons to keep her distracted, but please!

I feel like complaining! I guess it's just when someone tells your child off

[mamas12]

Complain That is soooo child unfriendly I am in total agreement.
The more children are accepted into public places properly, the better it will be as everyone will benefit from the improvement of child/ adult interaction and behaviour will improve.
Adults will no longer feel aghast at children existing and children will learn how to behave at table.

[JoPie]

If you think the UK is bad, don't go to Ireland. Seriously.

[brimfull]

A woman scowled at ds in waitrose today for tapping his foot.
I was stupid enought to tell him to be quiet-could kick myself now.

[imanidiot]

I'm going to email them this afternoon!

I get my DD is loud, she is very loud, that's just her, but she wasn't causing a nuisance.

They don't like children walking around in there - I get that, so I keep DD in her seat, but to tell a child to shhhh is overstepping the mark - they should have spoken to me, or to the adult with her. It makes me so angry.

And I apologise if I keep saying "I get"....

[Thunderduck]

Was she being particuarly loud? Was she shrieking, because that makes me want to pull my ears off when kids do that.

He should have asked the relative who was with her to ask her to keep it down though, rather than speaking to her directly when there was an adult with her.

[mamas12]

My kids are loud, but it's happy noise and not squabbling and fight whining noise, they laugh and joke and sing.
It's called being a child.
Children are a fact of life. I really don't get the they should be seen and not heard mentality.

Email them

[Thunderduck]

I don't think a restaurant is the place for a child to be loud, even if they are happy noises, it can be irritating for other diners.
It doesn't mean that children should be seen and not heard.

[Thunderduck]

Wagamamas is generally quite a noisy place though, from my, admittedly limited experience from dining there.

[duchesse]

I just think that there are lot of crabby people here. It's directed at everyone I think, but parents (usually mothers) and children are easy targets, and likely to take things to heart. I think smiling broadly at crabby people and ignoring/ pitying them for their crabbiness is the best option for your own mental health.

[mamas12]

Children are not always loud all during one meal though are they It's probably a one off exclamation which is so acceptable.
Adults do it too. Everyone has a loud moment once a day surely and no one says anything about that.
This country is so judgey about normal child behaviour being unacceptable.

[imanidiot]

I understand that, she was loud, but with kids they can be loud one minute and quiet the next. When she was seated she ate her dinner, smiled and talked to us

I don't let my DD shout and scream in restaurants, the friend had admittedly got her a little excited, but she calmed down and the thing that got me was that he should have told me or the other adult. And it was only about 1 min or less and then it was over!

Anyway here is the email I've drafted. I admit it, I have PMT

I am a regular in this restaurant with my daughter. However I would like to complain about a member of your staff telling my child to shhhh (be quiet). She was with a family member in the entrance foyer, waiting for the other members of our party to join us, when a member of staff told her to shhh,

I would like to point out that the restaurant was full of children, that my daughter was not being a nuisance to anyone else, that the gentleman in question completely overstepped his authority in telling my daughter off - perhaps he should have spoken to either myself or the adult who was with her at the time, and the fact that he was running an industrial juicer at the time which I would assume was making more noise than my daughter?

Your chain prides itself as being "child friendly", however every time I have been there with my daughter I feel that we are not welcome, that we are too noisy or an inconvenience.

It is a shame because the enjoyment of the meal was ruined by the rude and out of line attitude of your member of staff.

Perhaps he should go and work in a library. (Although even in libraries now you cannot tell people to be quiet, so perhaps a monastery would be better?).

I would like to thank your other members of staff in the xxxxxx branch, who however, are always courteous, friendy and polite.

Whilst I do understand that the noise of children is not always welcomed in some eating establishments, children do make noise, unfortunately they do not come with volume control (if I could work out how to make some kind of volume control, I would patent it, sell it, and retire on my millions) and as parents we do not intentionally want our most beloved little ones to annoy anyone else or distrupt other peoples meals, I feel the response of the man in question was very over the top - considering my daughter, when seated, sat in her chair and was quiet and happy for the rest of her meal.

Perhaps you could convey this to the member of staff in question and I hope for his sake, that when he does have children, they are very, very silent.

Yours faithfully

[Thunderduck]

Loud moments fine. Constant loudness is not, and yes loud adults annoy me too.
I'm not suggesting that the OP's child was constantly loud by the way.

Actually just going to Wagamamas would put me in a bad mood.I dislike the food which generally tastes of nothing. And a friend wants to go there for her birthday.

[Thunderduck]

Loud moments are fine sorry.

[Thunderduck]

I wouldn't include the part about the juicer. That's a necessary noise, if people want juice, part of being in a restaurant.

[bigchris]

if you were being loud right near the reception bit maybe the grumpy man was struggling to hear phone bookings or people ordering/paying

[mamas12]

I have sais my dcs are noisy but they know when the level is unacceptable and behave accordingly and that is what the majority of families do.
I do see other parenting styles which are a bit different and can see that point of view but then you take it up with the parent attending and not the child, and when that doesn't seem to get results then you ask the child.
I don't do so called child pubby things I can't stand the 'corraling' into one activity and limited menu thing.
We go and annoy adults in adult places (wink)

[Thunderduck]

Actually I'd change a lot of that letter. It's too emotional and they won't take it seriously.

It is possible that another customer complained about the noise, but again he should have directed the request to the relative that was with your dd.

[imanidiot]

It was loud for a moment and then I went over there to tell her to be quiet. It was another man telling my DD to shhhh which got me - considering it was lunchtime and there were about oooooo 5 other squealing babies there!

Wagamamas is noisy anyway? That's what I don't get. Stupid man. Bet he never had kids.

I don't like that restaurant now!!!

[mamas12]

Take out the paragraph about the unwelcome noise of children in restaurants.
Sounds as if you apologising for having a child.
Don't He was in the wrong not you or your normal lovely dd

[imanidiot]

Ahhhhh well I was just giggling to myself because I sound like a nutter......an emotive nutter

But, I'm with every parent out there, in that a child screaming and shouting is unacceptable and they need to learn to sit and behave in an adult environment - however being the little beings that they are, they do make noise sometimes. I don't let her run around or shout, I'm aware it's not very nice.

I think it's him telling her off that got me.

[mamas12]

Stop apologising for normal behaviour that you could see could louder and so went to say something and was interupted by the child unfriendly person

[Nancy66]

Write a letter by all means but I don't think you should send the one you have drafted - it sounds a bit hysterical.

Remove all mentiones of juicers, libraries and monastries.

How old is your daughter by the way?

[imanidiot]

SHes 18. No, sorry shes 2.

I've amended it, all emotives are taken out and it's a lot more serious, I've basically said that perhaps in future he should speak to the adult first, not the child.

[imanidiot]

And that I was about to speak to her.

[ByThePowerOfGreyskull]

I have read the thread and don't think the letter you have drafted sounds bad but I wouldnt send it.

I don't think that as a whole this country is unfriendly to children, I do however think that there are some places that are more welcoming than others, that chap sounds like he was having a bad day - it was wrong for him to take that out on your child.
I have personally only had good experiences at W.