To not want to take DD out of her nursery even though they are shite?

[muminthecity]

I have posted lots about nursery lately, I am so, so pissed off with them. First, I posted in Parenting about some 'issues' the nursery had with DD's development - they were concerned about her writing and her concentration. Everyone agreed that their expectations were too high. I found out this week that the reason they were so high was because the staff thought that she was a WHOLE YEAR older than she actually is! Obviously it would've been far too much trouble for anyone to check her file and find out her actual age!

Secondly, there was the Father's Day problem (I posted here about it.) I discussed it (really nicely, without complaining) with the deputy head the next day who was incredibly patronising and felt the need to tell me: "The thing is, muminthecity, some children do have daddies."

The final straw came today, when DD's keyworker phoned me (after I had just seen her and chatted to her at nursery) to let me know that next week's trip, which DD has been looking forward to for over a month, is cancelled as she has booked her holiday for that week and none of the other staff can take the children. So now I have to tell DD and I know she will be absolutely devastated.

With all of these problems, the sensible and obvious answer would be to take DD out and find a new nursery. However, there are no other suitable nurseries in the area (believe me, I have looked!) and DD does actually love it there. So I am thinking about reducing her hours and writing a letter of complaint to the head of the company that runs the nursery.

AIBU?

[piscesmoon]

If she loves it and is happy I would leave her where she is.
I think it a bit worrying that they had her age wrong, but I said at the time that you can't leave father's day to chance-you need to organise what she is going to do first. When my DS didn't have a father we had to accept that the other DCs did. The trip is unfortunate but obviously a mistake that is easy enough to make. I wouldn't write the letter-I would try and get on good terms with the nursery staff.

[MIAonline]

If you believe they are 'shite' then YABU to keep her there.

[annh]

Hmm, tricky. If she is happy and you believe that she is being well looked after from the point of view of food, play, cuddles etc then I would leave her. The age thing is a real worry however. Sorry, don't know what age your daughter is but am assuming that she is perhaps 3 and they thought she was 4, which is just mad! It's not like they are confusing a 14 and 15 year old for example where the physical differences would not be so noticable.

[muminthecity]

I agree that the letter is probably not a good idea. I am on good terms with the staff, they don't know how pissed off I am - I haven't said anything for fear of ruining the good relationship we have. Also, forgot to mention the other thing that has pissed me off - they still haven't cashed my last 3 month's cheques that I've paid as they 'haven't had time to go to the bank' so I currently have a rather large amount of money in my account which I have to be extra careful not to dip into until they decide they have time to go to the bank and cash the cheques! I will be paying by standing order from now on.

[piscesmoon]

They seem very disorganised! Have you thought of a child minder instead?

[purepurple]

What a bunch of amatuers, really unbelivable.
If your daughter enjoys it there, then keep her there. But do raise these concerns with the manager.
The age thing is pretty mindblowing, but if the age was written down wrong on the register then the staff would have no reason to doubt it. Stupid mistake, but it has been rectified now and you can't undo the past. Let that one go.

Father's DAy cards is a tricky one, you can't do right for doing wrong with this subject. If you do cards then you risk upsetting those families withouy dads, but if you don't do cards then the dads feel left out. Most children have a significant male in the family that a card can be given to, grandad, uncle, etc.

The trip thing is a bit disorganised, but not the end of the world. Children do have to deal with some disappointment in their lives. For trips you need to follow guidelines about levels of qualifications and first aid certificates, so maybe the other staff can't take them.

As for the cheques, I would be tempted to ask for them back and withdraw the money and give them the cash. And not write any more cheques.
TBH the management sound really disorganised and a bit pants.

None of these issues warrant you taking your DD out.

[BradfordMum]

If they are as bad as it sounds, then YUBVU to consider leaving your DD there!
Find a decent childminder, who will treat your child as an individual and not a money making machine.

[rubyslippers]

i would take her out

they are sooooo lazy - how can they not bank cheques, check your DD's age or staffing for a trip?

yes it is a PITA to find someone else but i wouldn't hesitate - they simply can't be bothered and that would worry me

[FabBakerGirlIsBack]

Is there a chance that your DD will forget about the trip if you don't mention it again? Or can you offer to go to help?

[pickyvic]

some childminders are absolutely brilliant and i found one who did much more with my DD than the nursery ever did, she had a dedicated room in her house for them, loads of messy stuff to do, cooking, crafts and lots of really well organised trips out with other childminders at not much expense. she was brill.
id consider a childminder too if you think the nursery is really crap. thats what i did for similar reasons to yours and she thrived.

[Pyrocanthus]

I had the opposite problem, sort of, with my younger dd who has always been very small for her age. The staff at her nursery always seemed amazed that she could do anything at all, and it wasn't until I took her out when she was three and they gave me her file to keep that I spotted the note that her key worker had added about a year earlier: '...... was premature and is very small for her age'. Right on the second count, but she was full-term, good birth weight, perfectly healthy and developing completely normally. They'd obviously decided they couldn't expect too much from her. I was a bit disappointed that her 'prematurity' hadn't led anyone to give her a bit of extra input...

[cheesesarnie]

yabu to leave your dd with people who you obviously dont think can look after your childs needs properly

[chubbleigh]

Sort it out, don't be afraid to complain to management about staff lower down not doing their job properly as long as you do it in a reasonable and well thought out manner. You may well not be the only one who is unhappy, standards will only improve if someone gets an arse kicking and they all know parents are monitoring standards in the nursery and won't tolerate slackness. Don't take her out unless it gets worse, I assume you are not concerned about her actual safety, in that case it could be an awful wrench to put her somewhere else.
Your complaints are organisational weakness and need to be pointed out to management and dealt with.

[muminthecity]

Thanks for all your comments, it seems there are quite conflicting opinions. If i thought that DD was not safe or well looked after then I would have no hesitation in taking her out, but she does love it there, she seems to get plenty of attention, does lots of different activities and has made lots of friends. The staff are just so disorganised, mainly due to the fact that the manager has just returned from maternity leave and I think the person they got in to replace her has messed things up a bit.

As for the trip, I will still be taking DD, I had booked the day off anyway to go along as a helper, it's a bit of a pain for us to get to but it is do-able.