First time I've started an AIBU, but I'm keen to know if I'm over reacting, or if other parents would feel slightly peeved.
Am a regular but namechanged because I'm paranoid!!
Ds over reacts to many situations and if you didn't know him well you might think he was just making a huge fuss over nothing, but little things do upset him.
Basically ds turned on a tap, and the water suddenly gushed out which resulted with ds shorts getting slightly wet. He over-reacted as he would normally do, and squealed. An lsa who knows him fairly well watched ds 'over react' and told him to "Grow up!"
I feel I'm normally a level headed person, but on this occasion I feel that an LSA shouldn't tell a 9 year old child to 'grow up, he already has huge issues with confidence and self esteem which has been well documented.
Well...... am I making a mountain out of a molehill. AIBU for being rather annoyed??
Well, it wasn't really her place to tell him to "grow up", so you have every right to be annoyed. And no, it's not going to help his self-esteem at all, being told that by LSA - even if he was being a bit silly about things.
You mention an LSA - does he have any Special Needs? And the squealing - are we talking lots of noise or just a brief exclamation?
There is a danger that by allowing the over-reactions to happen without comment you're sort of sanctioning them as being an acceptable way to behave. And in the adult world, lots of noise (I'm assuming) over slightly wet shorts is not acceptable behaviour. The LSA's phrasing wasn't good, but neither is letting a 9 year old think that actually, everyone over-reacts to little things and it's fine. I know I'm making a huge range of assumptions here.
Yes he does have SN's, but I was interested to know if that comment would bother parents of NT children as well. I imagine the reason why the comment has offended me so much is due to ds being emotionally/socially behind his years anyway, so to hear that an LSA has told him to 'grow up' has annoyed me, I kind of expected better from an LSA.
I've explained many times to ds before how he really needs to try and control his reactions to things, I certainly don't sanction his behaviour but I'm also aware that I am very protective towards him and am aware that perhaps, at times I am far too soft, like I'm making too many allowances because of his SN's.
YANBU. An LSA should not be speaking like that to a child whether he's NT or has SNs.
My 9yr-old can also overreact to things (he's autistic). The strategy used at school is that if it's something relatively minor then he will get the equivalent of a 'There, there, <ds1>' and then directed to whatever task he's supposed to be getting on with. It acknowledges that he's upset but also that it's not worth getting too upset about. I'd be annoyed if he was just told "Grow up!".
Other than this particular LSA I have no concerns with how the school manage ds, in fact if anything they show a real sense of understanding and patience, but this LSA, well she has made other comments which I've also been troubled by. She obviously doesn't like ds, and I accept that not all teacher/LSA's have to like particular children, but it does upset me that she's actually showing her dislike towards ds.
Thanks for all your comments on this, it's good to know that others would feel equally annoyed and I'm not just being overly sensitive.