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To ask my sister to remove photo's of DC's from Facebook

(174 Posts)
Sheeta Wed 24-Jun-09 12:46:45

At a party and lots of pictures were taken. She's put up photo's of her DD, along with pictures of my DC's onto Facebook. I kindly asked her to take them down, and she has, but now she's really pissed off with me.

Was I being unreasonable? I'm not that keen on the idea of pictures of the DC's online (even if they are friends only pages), and DH is totally against it (he hates the internet).

Is this what happens these days? Is it acceptable for people to put up pictures of your kids on the internet without even asking? I've got pics of her DD, but wouldn't ever dream of uploading them.

Am I alone? Would love the general consensus on this one...

gegs73 Wed 24-Jun-09 12:49:16

I personally wouldn't mind but I think some people go over the top with it. However my DH hates it and is really funny about putting pics of our boys on facebook or his blog. I think your sister should respect your wishes. They are your children and you don't like it YANBU.

SomeGuy Wed 24-Jun-09 12:50:42

My wife puts photos up of friend's children on internet. So do all her friends.

I think a lot of people would think you were mad to object.

Numberfour Wed 24-Jun-09 12:53:42

a friend of mine did that too, and while i did not say anything, i did not like it either. it is my choice whether i do so or not, not for her to decide.

so YANBU and your friend should grow up a bit and respect your wishes.

Numberfour Wed 24-Jun-09 12:55:09

sorry: your sister, not friend.
btw, i would not put up pictures of other people's children whether they were family or not.

Sassybeast Wed 24-Jun-09 12:55:24

YANBU and you are not 'mad' to object. Your children, your choice. I wouldn't dream of putting pitures of anyone elses children online and I make sure that any pictures of my own children are only viewable by friends. It never ceases to amaze me that people are so naive about internet privacy. I have been shocked by the pictures I have been able to view on facebook of people I either don't know - or only vaguely know. i have no real desire to see the pictures of drunken friends of friends have taken by sticking cameras up each others skirts in the pub hmm - one of them is DDs former teacher.

SomeGuy Wed 24-Jun-09 13:03:35

I don't see pictures of children with cameras up their skirts on facebook.

Children's photos are usually pictures of kids playing in the park or something of that nature.

I think my wife's friends don't worry about this because they are foreign and don't assume that a photo of a child on the swings is going to cause them to be abducted by a paedophile.

porcupine11 Wed 24-Jun-09 13:09:31

My brother in law posted pictures of my DS on the first day he met him, when DS was three days old. Consequently, were the first pictures all my closest friends saw of MY baby. I was so angry. He wouldn't think it acceptable to email all my friends with the first pictures of my baby, so why put them on Facebook? Why are some people driven to --show off-- document every second of their lives on the net.

SouthMum Wed 24-Jun-09 13:15:32

YABU - I never get why people get so uptight about this.

Think its a bit alarmist and overdramatic and is probably the reason why so many places have stopped proud parents from being able to take photos of their kids.

As long as there isn't a link to your home address or naked pics of the DCs I don't see why all the angst.....

MIAonline Wed 24-Jun-09 13:15:54

SomeGuy, I don't think many people would 'assume that a photo of a child on a swing is going to cause them to be abducted by a paedophile' hmm

OP - YANBU

It is your decision to make and your sister should not be annoyed with you for deciding whether pictures of your children are on facebook

Kimi Wed 24-Jun-09 13:15:58

YANBU in the least, if you wanted your childs photos all over the internet I guess you would put them there.

We have had some of DH1s family do this and we have demanded they take them down as we do not put our children's photos on the web.

They have taken them down but if they had not I would have had their whole account deleted

(many techy friends grin)

onagar Wed 24-Jun-09 13:19:15

Some of the first photo sharing sites were started for the purpose of putting family pics up. After all with people often living so far apart it meant your relatives in Australia etc got to see the kids.

It's no worse than relatives putting them in their photo album as you have no control over which of their vistors can look at them.

KingRolo Wed 24-Jun-09 13:23:22

Those of you who don't want picures of your DCs on the web - do you cover them in a shawl when walking down the street, playing in the park or at the swimming pool? I'd argue that 'friends' only pages on FB are far less public than any of those places.

Though despite this, YANBU as they are your children and it's up to you if their pictures are up there, not your sister.

Elliemama Wed 24-Jun-09 13:26:38

YANBU. Its up to you if you want photos of your kids on the internet. Hopefully she'll get over being pissed off soon!

Actually isn't it illegal to publish photos without parents signing a permission form or something?

porcupine11 Wed 24-Jun-09 13:27:23

onagar - it's completely different - electronic photos are instant, so hundreds of so-called 'friends' get them delivered to their home pages instantly. And it could be randoms they met once in a pub, or went to school with 20 years ago. I bet there are not many people who would invite every Facebook 'friend' to their house to browse their photo albums over tea & biscuits.

poshsinglemum Wed 24-Jun-09 13:28:36

yanbu- why is she making a fuss of this hmm you are the parent- you decide if you want picyures of your dc on the internet. There are risks with it.

onagar Wed 24-Jun-09 13:29:03

And?

Sassybeast Wed 24-Jun-09 13:29:36

It's not about being abducted by paedophiles. It's about a familys right to privacy. Photo sharing sites which are password protected are great - I us one myself for family who live far away. Random pictures of other peoples children on facebook with no regard to privacy settings are 'not' okay. My friends are fostering siblings who are subject to a court order forbidding biological family members to contact them. Many of our other friends aren't aware of the background to their situation. So should the children be hidden at home or should other parents respect their right not to have photos of the children at a summer bar b que posted all over Facebook ?

onagar Wed 24-Jun-09 13:30:43

I've got photos of my grandchilden on the wall. The plumber gets to see them and the tescos driver.

barnsleybelle Wed 24-Jun-09 13:31:34

I'm looking it from the other way, and they are her photos. Why does this bother you? What risk is there? I'm not being rude but i just don't get why it bothers you. Strangers can look at your child everytime they leave the house.
If your so concerned then don't let her have a photo taken at these events.
My Ds plays for a footy team and i'm always posting pictures of them all on facebook, would never cross my mind to ask.

Sorry, don't get what the concern is?

KingRolo Wed 24-Jun-09 13:32:39

That's so irresponsible onager! wink

onagar Wed 24-Jun-09 13:32:46

As others have said you DO have the right to say you don't want them up. (a moral right as I'm pretty sure it's not a law) but they have the right to think you are being unreasonable.

MissSunny Wed 24-Jun-09 13:33:35

Message withdrawn

Neeko Wed 24-Jun-09 13:33:51

YANBU

seeker Wed 24-Jun-09 13:34:38

So if she had prints of pictures of your children she couldn't show them off at work, or have a photo album on a table at home where any visitors could look at it...YABU in my opinion.

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