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new parents i met yesterday with 4 day old baby

(99 Posts)

Was slightly angryand hmm at this so aibu??

Couple came into restaurant yesterday with a tiny new born baby. Of course me expecting my own I asked the parents if i could have a look, said how cute he was etc and asked how old he was. Mum said he was born on Saterday, i commented how great he was being fast asleep looking so adorable! The dad then tells me 'well he's been a little ** the past 2 days!' I just commented 'oh well he's only a few days old' and left them to it.

Was not juding them that on way home from hospital (she still had wrist band on) they'd popped in for a fry up she probably needed it but hmm at being a little s**t the past couple days hmm hmm

bigchris Wed 24-Jun-09 10:50:04

Yabu, it's not like calling the lo a mother bleep bleep is it?!

Bucharest Wed 24-Jun-09 10:51:29


JeanPoole Wed 24-Jun-09 10:52:12

poor little baby

differentID Wed 24-Jun-09 10:52:50

it doesn't bode well that the baby is less than a week old and she is already thinking negatively about him.sad

SolidGoldBrass Wed 24-Jun-09 10:52:59

It's a bit startling, but maybe the dad was trying to be funny (in a Jimmy Carr sort of way). Or maybe he was just reeling with the shock of sleep deprivation and therefoe not operating a filter between brain and mouth.

FioFio Wed 24-Jun-09 10:54:40

Message withdrawn

lucyellensmumisgreat Wed 24-Jun-09 10:56:01

he probably meant it affectionately. I remember my cousins little baby stopped breathing once. Thank God, it turned out OK (hes 18 now!)but i remember going to see him and his dad saying "oh, hes great, but a right little bleeder to scare us like that" something like that, twas 18 years ago. That was meant affectionately.

I think when you are two days into motherhood and you have had no sleep, you may not choose your words so well either. I had NO sleep for the first three days and i was incapable of speech. saying that, i dont think i would have called my DD a little shit!

steviesgirl Wed 24-Jun-09 10:56:03

Probably knackered right out. I take it you are expecting your first? When you have your PFB you might have a little empathy to how the dad was feeling!

YAB A bit U. Although I agree it's not the nicest thing to say about a newborn, he was probably very sleep deprived!

AMumInScotland Wed 24-Jun-09 10:56:18

Well, new dads often take a while to settle into it, and his mouth probably just said what his brain was thinking without any attempt to be polite. And some people use terms like "little shit" without meaning anything very strong by it. And if they've had very little sleep for 4 days, then "little shit" might be the first term that sprang into his head.

SoupDragon Wed 24-Jun-09 10:56:51

Are you expecting your first?

VinegarTits Wed 24-Jun-09 10:59:40


EyeballsandherSunburntNorks Wed 24-Jun-09 11:00:33

I was going to judge but then I remembered being wheeled around the hospital the afternoon after I had dd (I had her at 3.15am). I was in a bad way with sky high BP etc and had been having tests all day and someone commented on how cute she was. I snapped no she isn't! I can't even remember now why I said that as she wasn't even old enough to have kept me awake for a night. Not I feel awful when I think back to that and I can't even explain why I said it

Of course she did turn out to be a PITA at night but that's a different story wink But the upshot is, not a very nice thing to say but give him the benefit of the doubt.

lucyellensmumisgreat Wed 24-Jun-09 11:04:34

I have lost count of the things i have put my judgeypants on over. When i was pregnant, when DD was a baby - Thing is, i think ive done most of the things i have looked down my nose at other mums for. We all think we are going to try and be the perfect mums. We ARE but there is no definition of perfect.

katiestar Wed 24-Jun-09 11:06:13

I don't know.I had very many negative thoughts about DC! during the first few weeks of his life !Wouldn't have called him a little s**t but many people use that word in virtually every sentence

FAQinglovely Wed 24-Jun-09 11:08:12

I didn't say anything horrible (that I can recall) but I certainly had lots of "horrible" names going through my head when DS1 wouldn't sleep when I was in hospital - and I mean he WOULDN'T sleep - not that he woke up lots he was just awake and SCREAMING

<<<<<<<<<<gets flash backs to those first 6 months of his life and thinks that nealry 9yrs on nothing much has changed - expecting the "screaming" has been replaced by ranting and shouting>>>>>>>>>> grin

roulade Wed 24-Jun-09 11:09:09

But, if they were on their way home from hospital then the bby could hardly have been keeping the dad up all night could he? So YANBU in my books.

WishingChairAgain Wed 24-Jun-09 11:11:39

It does seem rather sad.

Galava Wed 24-Jun-09 11:14:53

I think thats an awful thing to say about your son.

Sleep deprived or not.

So yanbu

IDidntRaiseAThief Wed 24-Jun-09 11:21:14

well not a nice thing to say, of course, yet that's some people for you. my neighbour said a similar thing, about her baby after about as many days, as yuo've described. I though, 'oh, that's charming' but she was totally totally knackered, and things have improved.

fgs not everyone considers every word they say before it comes out of their mouth. They were probably hungry and sleep deprived and just wanted to have a quiet meal without having to speak to everyone who wanted to see the baby, so didn't really put much thought into coming up with a perfect parent response for a stranger.

Wait until you have your own child and see if you never make any throwaway responses when you're exhausted.

it was the dad who called the baby a little s**t not the mum and he was def not being funny, i wish he was. He was not a very pleasant chap really. To the point where he was complaining about nothing and his wife/partner had to keep telling him to leave it.

If only he was trying to be funny solid honestly i was hmm.

VinegarTits Wed 24-Jun-09 11:37:01

He said 'he's been a little shit the last couple of days' they have obviously both had a difficult time of it, maybe a traumatic birth, difficult pg, difficult time BF, sleep deprived, so obviously its not been a walk in the park for them, so give him a break, he hardly said he hated the kid and his life was now in bits, your over reacting.

junglist1 Wed 24-Jun-09 11:38:39

If it was said in a jokey way that's one thing, but if it's the way you describe maybe he's a big shit!

PuzzleRocks Wed 24-Jun-09 11:39:27

YANBU and all this PFB talk is nonsense. I have two and think it is an awful thing to say. Neither DH nor I would dream of saying such a thing and DD1 never slept.

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