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AIBU?

To think some train passengers are complete s**ts?

56 replies

DollyDiamond · 24/06/2009 08:24

I travel with my one year old every Mon-Wed on the train from Richmond to Waterloo (pre-7am to avoid the big crush), but am finding it increasingly unpleasant. Twice this week I have been brought to tears (and I am definitely not the weepy type) by callous passengers who feel we are in their way (despite all attempts to ensure we are not). Part of the problem appears to be that some passengers do not see the spaces with flip up seats as priority for buggies and as a result, either refuse to let me park there or demand that I move the buggy to let them sit down. If I did so, I would block the exits or corridors and thus obstruct all other passengers. I never take up 2 spaces and am always polite in requesting people give up their seat (or even just move up one seat to park nearest the door, where it is widest), but can't believe they don't appreciate that these seats are meant to be used by buggies/wheelchairs etc and should you sit there, you may need to give them up (preferably without me having to ask). The tube has signs above some seats saying they may need to be surrendered to someone who needs them more (eg parent and child/elderly) and I have asked the train company to consider installing these and in the meantime, ask the train announcers to politely remind passengers to give these seats up graciously - but we'll see...?

I just find it so depressing that people are so rude and such bullies. The man today made such a verbal demonstration of how much of an inconvenience we were, that dd was terrified and started to cry -his response - to stand way too close to me in presumably some attempt to intimidate me. I was there first - who did he think he was?? When I talk to DH, he's always outraged that no-one jumps to my defence, but I guess that's London?

Sorry for rambling on, but I'm so fed up I want to go home and not come back (despite havoing worked 15 years to get this job). What would you do?

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belgo · 24/06/2009 08:28

What would I do? I would carry my child in a sling or a small umbrella buggy.

sarah293 · 24/06/2009 08:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

belgo · 24/06/2009 08:29

But yes you are right, some people are awful but people won't change unfortunately.

TheOldestCat · 24/06/2009 08:30

Oh you poor thing. We've just moved out of London, but I still work there and my hour-or-so train journey in is a delight compared to my ten minutes on the tube with hideously rude folk.

I think Belgo's idea is a good one - would a sling or lighter, more foldable buggy work (you could carry any other stuff in a rucksack)?

foxinsocks · 24/06/2009 08:32

what train are you getting? are you getting the fast train or the stopping one?

I am on those trains every day and never see behaviour like this and we have bikes and all sorts....

liath · 24/06/2009 08:32

You poor thing. I don't think you see human nature at it's best on public transport. I used to hate using the bus with a buggy. I know it sounds a bit defeatinst but would you consider using a sling instead?

foxinsocks · 24/06/2009 08:32

are you plonking yourself in the busiest carriage? I actually find this hard to believe tbh

junglist1 · 24/06/2009 08:33

Tell them to jump onto the fucking tracks and stop wasting oxygen. They are wankers who need to be told.

PM73 · 24/06/2009 08:33

I would get a cheap umbrella buggy & sit dc on my knee.

Ignore the fuckwit man from today,in his next life he will probably come back as a mum of triplets.

KingRolo · 24/06/2009 08:34

YANBU.

I live in the north and it's not quite as bad (largely due to the fact that it's just not as busy and frantic, not because northernerns are any more polite) but I have had days like this too.

Last week I was getting the bus home from town and a woman was sitting in the buggy area with a suitcase. She just stared at me as I struggled around her and when I asked if she could let me get the pushchair into the space she moved but left her case so I had to sit on one side of it and reach over to keep hold of the pushchair. There's a luggage rack ffs! And this might be controversial but ime it's almost always middle aged or elderly women who do things like this, rarely men or young people who often get all the bad press.

The only thing you can do is keep smiling, be polite to the shits and don't lose your rag - they'll feel they've won then. Then, complain, complain, complain when you get home to anyone who has the power to change things - the train and bus companies. Things have got better for people with access issues in recent years so let's keep the pressure on to see that continue.

KingRolo · 24/06/2009 08:38

The OP shouldn't have to fold up her buggy though - those areas on the trains are designed so that people can wheel buggies on and off for easier access. Folding a buggy and carrying the baby and all your bagy for a short journey is a real pita.

KingRolo · 24/06/2009 08:38

bags that is

foxinsocks · 24/06/2009 08:41

I am on those trains and I do not believe it for a second!

I passed Richmond before 7am this morning, sitting in the back carriage (which was quiet) and had a whole 4 seats to myself until Putney. My carriage didn't have anyone standing, even when I got to Waterloo. Those back carriages are never full, unless there is a fast train or tube issue.

You are getting into the wrong carriage!

DollyDiamond · 24/06/2009 08:42

Hi All, thanks for the responses.

The train stops at a few places, but it's as fast as it can be - I'm not sure if they're the busy carriages, I just use the ones with the flippy seats (very technical!), so my choice is limited?

Sling is a great idea, but she's a heavy girl and I'm not sure they cater for the fuller figured babes - do you have a recommendation for a 12kg? She's not standing properly, so folding and re-assembling might be tricky, but could give it a go?

I am always very polite, mostly because I couldn't bear a scene! I have to say, I've been trsining for 6 months and it has been significantly worse over the last 2 weeks - maybe it's the heat?!

OP posts:

foxinsocks · 24/06/2009 08:44

oh Dolly!

you are getting on the wrong trains

get on the slower ones (if you can be arsed to tolerate the longer journey!), sit in the back carriages and you will be fine.

Those flippy seat carriages are often nearer the front of the train which is why they are busier.

DollyDiamond · 24/06/2009 08:44

Foxinsocks, is there a designated place for the buggy in that carriage? I thought I was doing the right thing getting on at the front where the gaps are (and this is where the station guard said to use when I first started doing it)? The man this morning got on at Putney - would it have made a difference had I been in your carriage?

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foxinsocks · 24/06/2009 08:45

people are very tolerant on the slower trains ;-)

DollyDiamond · 24/06/2009 08:46

Right, next week - new train and new carriage!

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foxinsocks · 24/06/2009 08:48

yes, we have the flippy seat carriage - it's not always in the same position in the train

We also have a carriage with seats that face sideways (not forward and back) which has LOADS of room for buggies (think that's the one designated disabled). I like that carriage as you get loads of leg room.

often we have bikes as it's a train that is still allowed bikes (I think).

(it's the all stopping one not the semi fast, so it is considerably slower)

yes, even our train gets busier at Putney but most folk who are more determined at getting to work get the fast train (the one you get now!)

foxinsocks · 24/06/2009 08:50

(I mean it's a train at that time that allows bikes...I think, can't remember, the later ones you can't have them on there)

poor you Dolly. Sorry for doubting you. I can imagine those fast trains with fewer carriages are very busy in the morning.

I shall look out for you if I get that train next week.

DollyDiamond · 24/06/2009 08:52

I feel much better now I have a plan! Getting to work without incident is much more important than getting there quickly - thanks everyone for the sympathy and suggestions. You're all stars with lucky little ones!

OP posts:

foxinsocks · 24/06/2009 08:54

(and if you see a mad woman leaning out the carriage screeching DOLLY GET ON THE TRAIN HERE you'll know who I am )

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SpawnChorus · 24/06/2009 08:56

In answer to your questions about slings/carriers, yes there are designs for older babies / young children. e.g. the ToddlerHawk. We still carry our (light!) four year old in ours. I can't even contemplate the horrors of taking a buggy onto a busy train!

DollyDiamond · 24/06/2009 09:03

Thanks SC - it'll be my plan b!

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DollyDiamond · 24/06/2009 09:04

Ha ha! I cont't wait for Monday now!

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