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To be pissed off with my mum choosing clothes for my dd which she then expects me to pay for?

(48 Posts)
ino Tue 23-Jun-09 17:48:26

My mum often produces an item of clothing that she has gone out and bought for dd, who is 7. Then she expects me to pay for it. I say 'No, if you want to buy her something that's fine but I want to choose her clothes, myself thanks'

To this she replies 'oh, ok if you don't want her to have anything nice to wear'.

This really annoys me. To me it seems like a way for her to control what dd wears and to get me to pay for it.

And dd gets plenty of nice stuff - I buy it all in Boden or Gap.


expatinscotland Tue 23-Jun-09 17:49:43


Don't give her any money then. She can't exactly force you to stump up.

posieparker Tue 23-Jun-09 17:49:56

Stick to your guns, don't pay EVER again!

skidoodle Tue 23-Jun-09 17:49:57


oliverboliverbutt Tue 23-Jun-09 17:50:16

no YANBU - I can't believe she expects you to pay for them!

Just don't take then from her anymore.

GrimmaTheNome Tue 23-Jun-09 17:53:05


Sounds like behaviour that needs nipping in the bud or where could it end? Jewellery? Bikes? Cars?

paddingtonbear1 Tue 23-Jun-09 17:53:20

I assume you've not asked her to buy anything? My MIL sometimes does this when dd stays with her - last time she spent around 50 quid in Next! She didn't ask me for the money though as I'd not actually asked her to get anything. I didn't mind, if she wanted to spend her money on dd then fine I don't think I'd want to be presented with the bill though!

paddingtonbear1 Tue 23-Jun-09 17:55:39

YANBU in answer to OP, (pressed too soon)

TheCrackFox Tue 23-Jun-09 17:57:16


She wants all the fun but wants someone else to pay for it.

NigellaTufnel Tue 23-Jun-09 17:57:59

That is passive aggressive crap.


What kind of clothes is she buying? If your DD is in Boden and Gap I think she will be looking pretty darn smart. And you know it will wash well.

It is a form of control. Stick to your guns.

Reginamygina Tue 23-Jun-09 18:06:10

Here is something to make you feel better:

Mil had both our dogs put down and gave Dp the bill! shock


<off to Amazon to see if they sell backbones for herself>

pagwatch Tue 23-Jun-09 18:19:23

I would buy her a cricket box and ask her for the money.

HecatesTwopenceworth Tue 23-Jun-09 18:20:11

You are not being at all unreasonable! How controlling of her! Carry on saying no!

HecatesTwopenceworth Tue 23-Jun-09 18:20:55

oh, wanted to ask - when you say no, you are not paying for something you did not ask her to buy - does she return the item to the shop?

HecatesTwopenceworth Tue 23-Jun-09 18:21:34

Regina! Really? shock how the HELL did that happen?

BonsoirAnna Tue 23-Jun-09 18:22:11

Your mother sounds mad - she wants to spend your money for you? Loopy.

FairLadyRantALot Tue 23-Jun-09 18:28:16

YANBU insulting is she ...basically she is saying that you don't have taste....unbelievable...

PeedOffWithNits Tue 23-Jun-09 18:30:27

shock at regina - please explain!!!

Frasersmum123 Tue 23-Jun-09 18:52:55


Reginamygina Tue 23-Jun-09 18:57:20

We had 2 dogs.

One dog got very sick, I asked the vet to put him down (they were both old), but she said "let's give him 24 hours". We did and he made a miracle recovery.

A week later, he was retested to see if he was alright. His bloods came back perfect.

We paid the vet £350 for saving our dog.

Another week later, both dogs were fine, so we went ahead with our holiday to France, Fil and Mil agreed to look after the dogs, walk them etc.

We came back 10 days later. Fil came to pick us up at the airport and simply said "the dogs have gone". I replied "Gone where?". He said "I have had both of them put down, they were too much hassle to look after while you were away".

Dp burst into tears in the car. I couldn't talk at all. Mil instigated it apparently.

We didn't confront them. Dp asked me to just leave it. shock

3 weeks later, we received the bill through the post. £180. Dp paid and didn't say anything to his parents.

It's been a year and I am still fuming and we still haven't mentioned anything.

<dysfunctional family emoticon>

Sorry for hijack ino!

PeedOffWithNits Tue 23-Jun-09 18:59:26

OMG regina!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LyraSilvertongue Tue 23-Jun-09 19:00:05

shock shock shock shock shock shock Regina!
Too much hassle? How dare they? shock shock shock shock
You need to speak to them about this or you'll feel resentful forever.

skidoodle Tue 23-Jun-09 19:01:26

Dog muderers!

I would be seriously disgusted at an adult who would let this go and allow himself to be stuck with the bill.

LyraSilvertongue Tue 23-Jun-09 19:01:29

They killed your pets because they couldn't be bothered looking after them. And then made you pay for the privilege. I'm stunned.
I take it you won't be leaving your children with them while you go on holiday.

Frasersmum123 Tue 23-Jun-09 19:03:05


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