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AIBU?

to be feeling despair because of houses?

24 replies

jugglingwoman · 23/06/2009 15:58

My DH and I have a large deposit, we're renting so can move quickly, we've organised a mortgage, we know how much we can afford for when I'm not working, we've done everything apart from.....buy a bloody house.

We liked one house, took our workman Dad's along to see if it'd be viable, put an offer in the next day. 20 mins later she'd taken it off the market as her DH had decided to leave his girlfriend and come back to her.

So, we've been sensible, looked at other possibilities, one that looked good was cheaper but needed a lot of work (new kitchen, bathroom, carpets, ceilings) done. We worked out today we could afford it, arranged to take the aforementioned Dad's along tomorrow, just had a call that a cash buyer has done the deal and will exchange next week.

We only have one more possibility which is slightly over what we wanted to pay and is the same as yesterdays house, just hopefully needs less work (although there's only one internal photo which is of the living room-decorated nicely).

AIBU to be beginning to feel despair?! We're not going to be homeless so in some ways we're really lucky but our TTC all depends on having a house! Ideally I want to start in the Autumn and now I'm feeling pressure and stressed that we won't find a house, we won't be able to afford a house (mortgage lady said rate was about to go up and estate agent said 'things are picking up') and most importantly, we'll never have any more children (we already have DSS aged 7).

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stillstanding · 23/06/2009 16:03

YABU to despair re houses and I say that in the nicest possible way - you really are in a very good position and will certainly sort this out soon. DO NOT DESPAIR!

Also I wouldn't worry about waiting TTC until you have a house. In my case it took over a year to get the BFP and I wish I hadn't waited until all the planets were aligned before I started trying. There is never a perfect time to have a baby and I would just get cracking (within reason obviously!) - your house situation will resolve itself.

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RambleOn · 23/06/2009 16:03

Why can't you ttc now? Agree it's more hassle to move with young baby or pg, but it can be done.

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makipuppy · 23/06/2009 16:05

My DP watches these markets very closely, and despite what the estate agents say about the market 'picking up' (let's face it, they would say that) other sources would indicate that things will, if anything, go down a bit more, maybe even 10-15 percent and then take absolutely ages to come back up again.

Actually we are in the same situation as you, sold our house, have the equity and are ready to buy. But we've decided to wait this year out, watch prices and jump in when the time is right, which according to the oracle is not yet.

We didn't wait to ttc though! I'm due in August. We're renting - rents are actually going down where we are, we got £200 per month off ours.

Of course, my DP could be a right know all wrong!

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OrmIrian · 23/06/2009 16:06

Don't despair yet. And go ahead with the TTC. It is possible to move when pregnant or with young baby - maybe not ideal but not a show stopper.

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lechatnoir · 23/06/2009 16:10

In your exact same position although there is virtually nothing coming on the market in our area so we're still renting many many months longer than we'd hoped or expected and I'm due DC2 any day now (well technically 12 days ago but YKWIM ).

TBH, I really wouldn't wait for the perfect house before you start TTC - as SS says it could take you a while (my DS1 was conceived in the first month of trying this one took 8 months if you include the M/C so doesn't always go to plan).

something will come up soon but don't put your life on hold while you wait as you will become more desperate & just buy something - anything - so you can move on which is pointless IMO
LCN

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expatinscotland · 23/06/2009 16:12

Don't despair!

Have faith in the universe, that the right house will be yours at the right time.

We made the decision not to let renting stop us from having the number of children we wanted, and it's a good thing because we'd have none then because we'll not ever be in a position to buy .

Why let money or material things stop you from your heart's desires? Life is too short for that, IMO.

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jugglingwoman · 23/06/2009 16:20

I really don't want to move whilst pregnant as my DH is a teacher so I'd have to do all the moving and work myself really.

We got married last year-our deposit is basically the money he got from the sale of his last house after life insurance paid out (he's a widower). We wouldn't be able to afford a mortgage on 1 salary so I need to be working and not being a SAHM.

In our area things have suddenly started selling. I've been looking for about 6 months so I know what's going on and quite a few that had been hanging around have sold recently. TBH, I don't trust what the estate agent says, but I do believe all the sold signes in my area and the shorter lists! The prices are also getting higher locally so if my mortgage rate does go up (lady reckoned it'd be the next week or so) then we won't be able to afford as much.

We don't want to not be able to afford our mortgage if I'm not working!

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purpleduck · 23/06/2009 16:21

I wouldn't give up on the other house....wait a month or so and I bet it comes back on the market......

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makipuppy · 23/06/2009 16:22

Have you tried going to auctions? Ideal as you have your mortgage all ready.

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jugglingwoman · 23/06/2009 16:23

I know but chances are he'll come back again! Odd thing is when he arrived (when we were looking round) his girlfriend was with him. 12 hours later he's back with his wife. My DH reckons she's in the deep freeze....

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jugglingwoman · 23/06/2009 16:24

How do you get into auctions?! I thought you had to have all the cash ready as mortgages depend on surveys?

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Meglet · 23/06/2009 16:24

Don't let the house hassle put you off ttc! House buying is always a nightmare. You have a good deposit so something will come along soon. Be positive .

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timmette · 23/06/2009 16:33

Are you stating your situation with strength to the estate agent - my sis recently went through this and will move in in July.
Make sure they know you have no chain have a deposit and have made mortgage enquiries and are flexible as to move date . The area she was looking in has seen houses selling very quickly.

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makipuppy · 23/06/2009 16:35

You can definitely buy auction houses with a mortgage.

You need 10% deposit in your hand, then have 28 days to come up with the rest via financing. But you're legally committed to the purchase when the hammer falls.

Exciting!

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OrmIrian · 23/06/2009 16:35

juggling - not wishing to sound unhelpful but I think you might have to accept that things won't turn out exactly as you wish them to. You will find a house, you will conceive, you will have a lovely baby and a nice life... but not neccessarily in the right order IME the whole business of moving house is the seventh circle of hell....

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whereeverIlaymyhat · 23/06/2009 16:41

How can rates be going up and things be picking up in the same sentence ?
Don't be pressured into rushing into anything, the mortgage lady is probably right not the agent

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mumblechum · 23/06/2009 16:43

We moved when ds2 6 weeks old. I didn't lift a finger, just got Pickfords to do everything. Go for it

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jugglingwoman · 23/06/2009 16:46

I'm not to keen on buying a house when it could be structurally not good....

I make sure I tell all estate agents what we have deposit/mortgage wise and also that we're renting so not part of a chain. Still no luck. They say 'excellent' but it's the houses that are letting us down IYKWIM.

I think moving is probably hell. I'm very organised so all we need is an actual sale and everything else will be fine (although probably not easy)!! I know it won't happen as I want it to as I'm impatient but at the same time, we can't have more children until we have a mortgage as we'd have to move to have enough space anyway, plus we'd never be able to afford to buy a house and then our future is ruined because of timing.

Realistically we're not on a time limit with TTC, but we'd like to start soon so there's less of an age gap between our future children and DSS.

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FairLadyRantALot · 23/06/2009 16:52

juggling...I can kinda understand you, but honest, don't despair...something will come up and it would nto surprise me if it was better than what didn't happen

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jugglingwoman · 23/06/2009 17:07

That's what I'm hoping for. We're seeing the last 'possible' house tomorrow that's currently on the market so I still have a vague sense of hope that it'll all be okay. My Mum and boss keep telling me that 'what will be will be' which is true and I'm sure the right thing will come along, I'm just not very calm and patient about it!

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FairLadyRantALot · 23/06/2009 17:19

how are you searching for house...just through estate agents, or over a website like Rightmove....rightmove was the site we used, it is brilliant...

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babyignoramus · 23/06/2009 18:08

I wouldn't wait to TTC. Sellers might be a bit less likely to screw you over if you're hugely pregnant/have a young baby

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jugglingwoman · 23/06/2009 20:01

I don't think sellers care as long as they get their money (or in the one today's case cash).

I'm using all the local estate agents (within approx 10-15 mile radius) and primelocation. We pretty much have tried everything in every area. We are/I am even willing to drive for 20 mins to get DSS to school in the morning for 3 years until he goes to secondary school as any future children would be starting pre-school after he changes. Our main issues are not wanting to move within 5-10 years and wanting to make sure I don't have to work.

Fingers crossed for tomorrow!

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slowreadingprogress · 23/06/2009 20:13

Yes don't despair, you're in a good position. I've moved a few times now and I've been TOTALLY in love with particular houses and UTTERLY gutted when they've fallen through; but you always fall in love with the next one too, and i believe that 'what's for you, won't go by you'......

We love our little house we're in now and I can barely remember the 5 or so houses I loved and lost along the way to buying this one!

Good luck

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