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If you can't be bothered to learn my name, don't address me as 'Mum'.

(30 Posts)
mrsrawlinson Mon 22-Jun-09 22:04:49

Having dropped DD off at school this morning, I was hotly pursued by the TA waving a piece of paper at me and calling "Mum! Muuuum!". When I realised that it wasn't in fact her own mother but me she wanted, I duly relieved her of said paper and went on my way. DD has been there two years now - how hard can it be to recall her surname and address me as Mrs Rawlinson? I mean, FGS, would a simple "Excuse me" not have done?

This is by no means an isolated incident, and it's not just the school. It's doctors, midwives, HVs - basically anyone who deals with the DCs in a professional capacity. I appreciate these people are extremely busy and I don't expect anyone to learn my name. It's just the sheer bloody half-arsedness of the term that pigs me off.

Anyone else get narked by this, or is it just my pregnancy hormones over-reacting?

cornsilk Mon 22-Jun-09 22:07:26

Yes it's very annoying and a tad patronising.

Zebrastripes Mon 22-Jun-09 22:09:11

i don't get irked when this happens to me - i think your hormones ABU grin

giraffesCantRunA10k Mon 22-Jun-09 22:09:35

Least you didnt get called your rabbits name infront of a whole waiting room at the vets and then stand up and say "yes thats me"

Thank god my rabbit isnt called fluffybum or something.

MrsMcCluskey Mon 22-Jun-09 22:10:49

i work with children and their parents and it is very difficult to remeber everyones names.
She prob knows your DD's first name.

Meglet Mon 22-Jun-09 22:11:02

A HV annoyed me when she kept referring to me as mum. DS had excema on his arm and she pointed at it and said "whats this mum?". angry

MrsMcCluskey Mon 22-Jun-09 22:11:47

and besides you may not have the same surname as your daughter either

Chandra Mon 22-Jun-09 22:12:04

I wouldn't blame medical staff, at least not the ones in a hospital, they hardly have time to remember what was the problem with your child, or his medicines, forget about your name...

The teachers... well, I wish I could call each of the 10 teachers or tutors assistants rotating in DS's class "Mrs" or even "mum", I find it hardly enough to recognise their faces forget about remembering their names!

Feenie Mon 22-Jun-09 22:12:50

Some kids' last names aren't the same as their mums, and sometimes their parents aren't married. It's a minefield, tbh, especially if you are trying to catch someone and are crap with names anyway!

squilly Mon 22-Jun-09 22:13:51

LOL Giraffes. I'd hate to hear a vet calling me Ulysses in the waiting room, but it would definitely be better than fluffybum, which would be a tad too accurate for my liking.

It may be pg hormones Mrsrawlinson, though I appreciate it's not the nicest way to be addressed. It must be hard for TAs to remember everyone's surname and though it's not overly appropriate, and I'd never be inclined to use it myself, perhaps the TA had a lot on her mind and mum sprang into his/her head.

RustyBear Mon 22-Jun-09 22:14:44

We do have a couple of parents who get very narked if addressed as Mrs [child's surname] so maybe the TA wasn't sure if that was your name.

Though I don't think 'Mum' was really the best alternative in a playground which was presumably full of them...

smallorange Mon 22-Jun-09 22:16:30

I encountered the exact same thing from a 25-year-old nursery worker the other week. We were going through DD1's progress at nursery school before 'big school,' and at one point she addressed me as 'mum.'

In fact she said something like, 'Now,now let's be positive 'mum.'

And it was patronising.

And I am 35, a mother of three and used to have a pretty good job. I just stomped off home, muttering to myself.

mrsrawlinson Mon 22-Jun-09 22:17:33

<< Rounds up irrational hormones and gives them a good talking-to about Being More Tolerant. >>

lockets Mon 22-Jun-09 22:18:17

Message withdrawn

smallorange Mon 22-Jun-09 22:18:27

AM 39 weeks pregnant, so am probably hormonal and stroppy too. Nursery teacher is actually v.good and I do like her.

wonderingwondering Mon 22-Jun-09 22:20:33

It is a bit annoying but inevitable.

My own low point was when the HV told me that I ought to take DS to the doctor for a 'little looky' at some dry skin he had. She repeated that three or four times to make sure I had got the point.

Hulababy Mon 22-Jun-09 22:21:13

I started as a TA in January. Whilst I know all the first names f the children I work with I actually don't know all the surnames - have never been givena full list formally and have never actually needed to know the surnames.

I have no idea what the parents surnames are or if they are Miss, Mrs or Ms (in the case f mums) or if they have the same name as the child. Infact many of our grown ups that come in in a morning are not parents - they may be childminders, carers, grandparents, friends, etc.

I don't think I should be expected to know every parent/grown ups name who coes into the classroom.

Mind you I also wouldn't refer to a parent in the playground as mum - as you'd get loads of people turning round and not necessarily the grown up you want!

I manage to avoid names altogether!

hatesponge Mon 22-Jun-09 22:21:15


this pisses me off beyond belief.

I would far rather someone called me Mrs ---- using my DS's surname despite the fact I am not and never have been a Mrs, and that DS surname is his dads not mine.

But that to me is much less annoying than just being called Mum by anyone other than my DCs.

I am sometimes called (DSs name) mum which doesnt annoy me as much, its the use of the mum word on its own I find irritating.

And I cant think of ever having heard anyone saying Dad in this way...........

Hulababy Mon 22-Jun-09 22:22:27

Personally it has never bother me to be referred to as DD's mum - when at school or at the doctors, etc I am there in the capacity of mum anyway.

lockets Mon 22-Jun-09 22:22:43

Message withdrawn

Ivykaty44 Mon 22-Jun-09 22:23:20

But what if you have a different name from your dd - then they get it all wrong and you are actually Mrs xxx not Mrs yyy.

Easier to call you nothing and not offend - only they did.

i know a nurse who is very careful not to asume names or relationships because so often things are not as you think and it can lead to confusion so best to be neutral.

kitkatqueen Mon 22-Jun-09 22:29:54

If it irritates you this much then either tell the school or in future ignore the person who is calling you MUM. When my dd was hospitalised it didn't even register that I was being referred to as MUM all the time until afterwards - It just wasn't important.

IneedacleanerIamalazyslattern Mon 22-Jun-09 22:43:00

It does irritate me a well but at the Moment I am Miss M, the children are A and B F which they will be as long as they choose to be and in a few weeks I will be Mrs B and I also don't expect teachers and TA's to remember all us mum's first names either. So it is probably a safer bet to just call me mum as that title isn't going to change.

When DS was in hospital it did start to grate but I can understand it.
In school or similar surroundings I tend to get A or B's mum rather than just mum anyway.

scaryteacher Mon 22-Jun-09 22:43:24

What's really scary is when you're teaching year 10s and they call you Mum instead of Mrs S, or Miss. They don't half blush and I wince as I am indeed old enough to be the mother of a Year 10, or a post graduate for that matter.

scaryteacher Mon 22-Jun-09 22:43:35

What's really scary is when you're teaching year 10s and they call you Mum instead of Mrs S, or Miss. They don't half blush and I wince as I am indeed old enough to be the mother of a Year 10, or a post graduate for that matter.

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