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to ask dp to get rid of his dog !

(18 Posts)
drpepper Mon 22-Jun-09 17:27:51

my dp has a dog, he's had her for 6 years, she is a lovely dog around adults but she is not a fan of children. i have a six year old who was bitten on the face by my dog of the same breed and i got rid of him, we're now expecting and he is moving in with us but wants to keep his dog, i don't dislike dogs i was considering getting one anyway but not that breed, he says that he can control her and she is getting used to my daughter but i would never trust them alone together and i don't think the dog will be at all happy with the new arrival !

Thunderduck Mon 22-Jun-09 17:29:36

Actually you should never leave a child alone with any dog.

I do think YABU. Give the dog a chance.Obedience classes might be a good idea.

Pets are not disposable. You can't go throwing the poor thing out of the house just because of a new arrival.

lilacclaire Mon 22-Jun-09 17:30:28

yanbu if there is any kind of risk.
i would make this a condition of moving in together.

plonker Mon 22-Jun-09 17:34:33

My dog has been raised around children. She is the softest, sweetest and most gentle dog in the world and I don't trust her alone with my children. She is a dog. I would never ever leeave a dog, of any breed, alone with children.

Has the dog given you any reason for concern? Or are you blaming dp's dog for the other dog's behaviour? If it is the latter, then that's very unfair sad

Can you put measures into place? Put a gate up to stop the dog coming in the main living area etc?

It's very unfair (on your dp and the dog!) to ask your dp to get rid of the dog if she's done nothing wrong ...

sb6699 Mon 22-Jun-09 17:35:41

Agree with Thunderduck - you shouldnt leave children unattended with ANY dog regardless of their age/breed.

YABU - the dog should be given a chance, even if its a case of separating it from your dd by using stairgates across doors, etc.

If the dog then gives you cause for concern, you can rethink the situation.

TheChilliMoose Mon 22-Jun-09 17:39:15

You're tainting a whole breed because of the behaviour of one animal. YABU.

bubblagirl Mon 22-Jun-09 17:39:48

you cant ask him to get rid of something he loves for no reason i would never leave any child alone with a dog as children can be cruel and pull tails etc and dogs react rightly to this by snapping as we would if hurt

if dog doesn't settle maybe it would be best to re home but it should be at least given the chance if dog needs space keep in other room if you will not be in same room as children put dog in same room as you with children and supervise there behaviour to the dog

and allow dog peace and space if looking like it needs it after all all things can only tolerate so much doesn't make you need to throw them out away from the person who has lovingly raised it for no reason

drpepper Mon 22-Jun-09 17:51:49

the dog did get jealous of dp and dd playing and lunged and snapped at dd and i can tell the dog gets aggitated around dd if she is being playful and loud ! also the fact that my daughter is scarred for life because of our old dog guess makes me extra nervous ! i would never suggest pets are disposable and i would want the dog to be rehomed like i did with my own to a family with no children !

junglist1 Mon 22-Jun-09 17:59:40

It's a hard one isn't it. In this case I'd go with my instincts. If you refuse to have the dog in your house will your man rehome her or will he really resent having to?

We had our dog before our children and sadly while he adores adults and older children, he doesn't like young children at all, he lives in the kitchen, (with a baby gate) by day, and comes out once the kids go to bed.

He gots lots of walks, and while the situation is not ideal, to me it was the only option, pets should not be something you dispose of just because your situation changes, they didn't ask to come and live with you, you (or rather dp) chose them.

So sorry but, YABU.

Thunderduck Mon 22-Jun-09 19:05:28

I would give it a chance, and I would insist on obedience classes.

A crate is also a good idea, not to keep the dog in it all the time, but to provide the dog with a safe space to get away from the children when it's had enough.

SomeGuy Mon 22-Jun-09 19:16:10

what breed of dog is it?

ElenorRigby Mon 22-Jun-09 19:49:58

"She's not a fan of children"
In what way?

corriefan Mon 22-Jun-09 20:01:56

I have a dog and if she showed signs of aggression towards my kids I would give her away, I don't think it's worth the worry.

oliviasmama Mon 22-Jun-09 20:54:00

Give the dog a chance and the situation some time, if then you have substance to your argument talk about it again. I think YABU and I think your DP thinks that too. I'm sure he would not under any circumstances jeopardise your childrens safety.

The dog will definately need time to adjust, it's a completely different lifestyle to the one it had previously with your DP, give it a go and then at least your giving your DP a chance with a dog he obviously loves a lot. It's give and take when you move in together, you can't have it all your own way.grin

As for leaving dogs alone with children...NO.

Satsuma1 Mon 22-Jun-09 23:01:12

This is a very difficult one.

Ultimately, your child has to come first. If you are in any doubt about this dog, then YANBU. I wouldn't take any chances. Even if you are in the same room, a dog can turn in an instant and there's very little you can do before serious damage is caused.

MissSunny Mon 22-Jun-09 23:42:00

Message withdrawn

ilovemydogandmrobama Mon 22-Jun-09 23:52:34

I would discuss arrangements with your DP about the dog. Who will walk him/her, clean up, feed etc. Could it be that the dog hasn't had many kids around to socialize with?

We have 2 golden retrievers and one is brilliant with the kids and the other just isn't terribly interested.

Obviously if the dog has had history of biting/harming a child, then of course you will need to rehome the dog, but if it's just the breed that is making you anxious, then perhaps a bit of settling in time would be helpful?

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