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AIBU to have walked out of this job interview?

(147 Posts)
MrsFlittersnoop Sun 21-Jun-09 16:42:57

Sorry this is so long. I went for an interview for a long-term temp.job last week.

I turned up at reception about 10 minutes early and explained I had a interview at 11.45 with J. the HR manager. While I was talking to the receptionist, a bloke who was walking past the desk stopped and stared at me. I smiled and said hello, but he blanked me and walked into the lift. I was a bit taken aback, but thought nothing more of it.

I was then met by a young girl who introduced herself as J's PA, who took me upstairs me to an empty office in the HR department, told me that J was still in a meeting and asked me to wait.

She left the door slightly ajar on her way out, and while I was waiting I heard a man and a woman talking as they walked down the corridor. The convo went as follows:

"J, are you interviewing temps this morning?"
"Yes, I'm due to see another at 11.45."
"Well don't bother. I've just seen the latest one in reception. Fucking hell, what a joke! I don't know what that agency is thinking of. Do you have any idea how old she is? She looks old enough to be my mother." (I am 48).
"Well, Mr H, the woman's come all this way, I really can't just tell her to......."
"Look just sort it will you? Tell her job's been filled or something. And have a word with that bloody agency will you?"

I heard him walk off, and the woman went into the office next door. I heard her say, "What? she's here already ? Where is she?

A minute later she came into the office where I was sitting. She looked really appalled. It must have been perfectly obvious I'd heard every word, because the door was open. I stood up and said "I don't think I want to waste your time or mine" and walked out. She made no attempt to speak to me or call me back.

My legs were so wobbly I don't know how I made it to the lift and I had to fight really hard not to burst into tears before I'd left the building. I was so shaken up I got myself a large G&T in a bar in Covent Garden and sat outside and smoked about 50 fags before I felt able to face the tube home.

I've been temping with this agency for a while. They've always had great feedback for me from previous employers and usually send me for more "senior" roles. I am very well presented at work. I wear expensive and fashionable office-smart clothes, have no grey hairs or wrinkles. People usually assume I'm younger than my 42 year old DH.

AIBU to feel utterly humiliated? I know I should be tougher and thank my lucky stars I didn't end up working there, but my self-esteem has just crashed to rock bottom. We went to a wedding yesterday and I was in tears before we left thinking that DH's mates would be laughing at me behind his back. (They weren't of course, and I had a lovely time.) But I'm worried that I'm feeling so fragile.

TheArmadillo Sun 21-Jun-09 16:45:20

YANBU angry

He sounds like a complete and utter cockstain.

Did you get the interview through an agency? If so I would tell them what happened.

LadyGlencoraPalliser Sun 21-Jun-09 16:46:29

Oh my good lord. How appalling. Have you made a formal complaint to the agency yet?
I am 45 and can imagine exactly how I would have felt in that situation, humiliated in the extreme. I would fight back if I were you - surely that's what age discrimination legislation is for?

posieparker Sun 21-Jun-09 16:46:56

I think you should name and shame.

SerendipitousHarlot Sun 21-Jun-09 16:48:46

What a fucking horrible thing to happen

Nobody is laughing at you behind your back, I bet you look fine - these people are arseholes, and if I were you I would be thinking very carefully about how I could wreak my revenge angry

cookielove Sun 21-Jun-09 16:49:37

yes def name and shame, it's amazing how cocky some people can be!!! shock

oh yanbu

PeachyTheRiverParrettHarlot Sun 21-Jun-09 16:52:16

Oh no be glad you walked out

there's a similar employer I know of, my Mum ahdd the misfortune to wrk there and edspite her very excellent skills in her field she was so badly humilaiated (used to leave in tears- as the senior said 'we all did that for the first few years but then you break') that she never tried fro another job after she walked out sad

I was palced there by job centre a few eyatrs after, luckily I got out early.... as I had severe back problems (was returning to work after three months unabe to walk) and he ahd me climbing things all the time and would swear at you if you didnt do it).

Anyway the upshot is- from having worked somewhere where they treat people like that, it's only wiorth it if it's work or starve


mamas12 Sun 21-Jun-09 16:52:36

What a complete are. Pity every woman who works there and has dealings with him
I would def. inform the agency and then I would inform the company of this mans behaviour. This is appalling!
Name and shame

TheCrackFox Sun 21-Jun-09 16:53:15

Please name and shame the fuckers.

I thought age discrimination was illegal? Perhaps find out J's immediate boss and put in a formal complaint.

What a cunt.

flaminhell Sun 21-Jun-09 16:53:39

I know its crap, some people do think that women over 30 are finished, I would make a formal complaint and I would see if you have any rights to a claim for discrimination.

But most importantly I wouldnt worry about a jumped up prick who thinks he's better than you, he's a prick and everyone who knows him will know it, the best and the biggest laugh is he has no clue, so is oblivious to all the piss that will be extracted from him on a daily basis.

head high, f*ck him, dont waste any tears.

MrsFlittersnoop Sun 21-Jun-09 16:54:37

I know this is age discrimination.

I phoned the agency while I was snivelling into my G&T sad. They were lovely and very apologetic and said they would take the matter up with the HR department immediately. Sadly, although they were very indignant on my behalf, they didn't seem particularly surprised.

The agency advised me not to put my DOB, dates of exams passed, or more than 10-15 years work experience on my CV.

But there really isn't anything I can do. It was an overheard conversation, I didn't actually see either of the people talking and I can't prove anything. It would be my word against theirs.

TheCrackFox Sun 21-Jun-09 16:54:56

Name ans shame so the whole of MN can boycott his crappy company.

AnarchyAunt Sun 21-Jun-09 16:55:11


angry on your behalf. How horrible and undermining.

Helium Sun 21-Jun-09 16:57:39

Vile - find out the name of the MD of the company and write a letter - copy in theri HR dept too.

Thunderduck Sun 21-Jun-09 16:58:00

Complain. What ignorant arseholes they are.angry

You should name the company here, so we can avoid using them.

SouthMum Sun 21-Jun-09 16:58:08

Make a formal complaint and perhaps let your local paper know.....

Agree name and shame!!!!

Buda Sun 21-Jun-09 16:58:22

I would write to the MD of the company and complain. Your agency won't make too much fuss as they need the business.

Poor you - what a shitty thing to happen.

moondog Sun 21-Jun-09 16:59:48

What a vile fucker he sounds. angry

makipuppy Sun 21-Jun-09 16:59:53

Ooh, but you were so dignified!

Bravo - many wouldn't have had your composure.

You should definitely inform the agency. I would write a letter to the head of the company reminding them of ageism laws and asking for a letter of apology from the twunt.

Wittering Sun 21-Jun-09 17:00:06

So angry on your behalf. Please don't let it affect your self-confidence. It is nothing to do with you -- it is everything to do with that man being an evil viscious little toad. Great that you spoke to the agency about it.

TotalChaos Sun 21-Jun-09 17:04:15

yanbu. how disgusting. in the office where I work (NHS) there are ladies in their sixties and one in her seventies(!) doing a great job. not all HR types are ageist gits. if you went to any expense to travel to interview, I would be looking to agency to reimburse you. and agree with writing to the company.

MrsFlittersnoop Sun 21-Jun-09 17:05:03

Tempted as I am to name and shame, I'd be risking legal action.

They are an internet marketing consultancy in Covent Garden is all I'm prepared to say. They are a very "young" company, and checking out their website it's quite apparent that there have virtually no employees over 35. "Mr H" (not his real initial) is the Marketing Director apparently. He is 29 , so yes, I AM old enough to be his mum hmm.

This wasn't a client facing role BTW. It was a mostly a research, and client support service via phone and email which I am extremely well qualified to do.

Earlybird Sun 21-Jun-09 17:05:42

That is outrageous. Walking out was the right thing. Staying for the interview would have been a farce, and waiting for an explanation/apology would have been a waste of time (nothing they said could have been acceptable).

I would complain with great force to the agency. It seems they sent you to an interview where the requirement was to be a dolly bird, instead of having any actual workplace ability.

It sounds as if you have a great deal to offer, and I'm sure you will find a place that values your skills.

Shame though that companies/managers with those terrible and dated attitudes are still out there.

Frasersmum123 Sun 21-Jun-09 17:07:17

YANBU, I cant believe you managed to keep so calm, I think I would have burst into tears (but im a bit wet really!)

He sounds like a real KnobJockey and it sounds like you had a lucky escape!

ilovemydogandmrobama Sun 21-Jun-09 17:11:37

shock shock shock

I'd leave it. But realize that this man has the charm of rhino, and no doubt he will be rude, arrogant again, but to the wrong person and will either get a lawsuit, or punched in the face.

Lucky escape though. You don't want to work for such a wanker...

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