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to think that grandparents should give my children pocket money?

(67 Posts)
SerendipitousHarlot Sun 21-Jun-09 11:36:36

I'm quite cross about this actually. We're going on holiday tomorrow, our first holiday in 4 years, and we're all really excited.

However.. my MIL has given both dc £10 each spending money for their holiday - she wanted to give £20 but we told her off...

But my parents haven't sent my dc anything! I would have thought that a fiver wouldn't have killed them! I can ALWAYS remember getting a bit of ice cream money from GPs for holidays, and I'm a bit pissed off.

I live 200 miles away from my parents - they see my dc about 3 times a year, and send them pocket money of a fiver each about twice a year.

AIBU? Or is this a bit tight?

cornsilk Sun 21-Jun-09 11:37:40

Yabu. Sorry!

thisisyesterday Sun 21-Jun-09 11:38:05

erm yes, you are being unreasonable.

it's their money and they can spend it on whatever they like
why should they give your kids money???

it would be a nice gesture if they did. but I certainly wouldn't expect anyone to give my children money

rubyslippers Sun 21-Jun-09 11:38:21

lovely to get but not a right IMO

ChasingSquirrels Sun 21-Jun-09 11:39:15


bellavita Sun 21-Jun-09 11:40:10

YABU and same as what ruby says

Kimi Sun 21-Jun-09 11:41:05


However my great aunt sends my DCs £5 each every month, and DPs mother just sent them £20 as both have archived really good things at school this week (she is not their Gran).

Have a good holiday

SomeGuy Sun 21-Jun-09 11:41:06


Pocket money is your responsibility. Grandparents should send money/present at birthdays and Christmas. Anything else is not to be expected.

SerendipitousHarlot Sun 21-Jun-09 11:41:24

Right I'm coming across really grasping aren't I? blush It's not really like it sounds, I promise - I hadn't even thought about it, until mil gave them some pocket money, and then that started me thinking about it a bit - it's not like I'd ring them and say WHERE'S ME FOOKING MONEY grin

I just get fed up that my pil do everything for my dc, one of which isn't their biological dgc - and mine do nothing!!

nametaken Sun 21-Jun-09 11:41:33

YABU - as the others have already said, it's their money, why should they give it to your children?

FatFree Sun 21-Jun-09 11:41:41

arf! Why should you expect this? If my kids get unexpected money i'm grateful but there is no way i'd be waiting there with my hand held out???hmm

LadyOfWaffle Sun 21-Jun-09 11:42:19

YABU. Maybe they just didn't think? I remember my dad giving me holiday money, but only from reading this post

SerendipitousHarlot Sun 21-Jun-09 11:42:40

Oh they have plenty of pocket money for hols, someguy, we've saved hard, believe me - it's just pissed me off a bit, I'm just whining really.

nametaken Sun 21-Jun-09 11:44:07

to be fair to the OP though, it Is hurtful when one set of gps make tons of effort and the other set only do the bare minimum. Then again, perhaps just be grateful for the gps that make tons of effort.

I see where your coming from.

SerendipitousHarlot Sun 21-Jun-09 11:44:17

I'm doing that AIBU by stealth a bit I think - they have 3 other dgc that they look after all the time, take out all the time, and give pocket money to all the time - and mine get nothing, not even the odd phone call.

rubyslippers Sun 21-Jun-09 11:46:32

SH - if there really is a great deal of inequity in between how the GCs are treated then that isn't nice

BUT i would therefore be even less surprised that they haven't given any pocket money

have you ever talked to them about this?

angrypixie Sun 21-Jun-09 11:53:49

Sounds like there are other 'ishoos' But on this one YABVU
You cannot expect GP to dish our cash to your children because you are going on holiday? Don't really know what else to say because I am frankly astonished. Read your thread title again....and cringe.

SerendipitousHarlot Sun 21-Jun-09 11:54:12

I can't ruby, I don't do confrontation - I feel it would lead to years worth of issues spilling out, iykwim. They're not horrible to mine - they're just not interested sad

Twims Sun 21-Jun-09 11:55:40

Agree with someguy -

Pocket money is your responsibility. Grandparents should send money/present at birthdays and Christmas. Anything else is not to be expected.

rubyslippers Sun 21-Jun-09 11:56:07

it must be hard

but they are the ones missing out

have a fab holiday and enjoy what you have - they are unlikely to change so sad as it is you may have to get used to the situation

IDidntRaiseAThief Sun 21-Jun-09 11:57:40

serendip, I guess the distance thing, (not an excuse, but more of a reasonable thought?) is the thing here. They see their other granchildren more regualrly, and its more natural for them to whip out the purse/wallet?. Same with your inlaws, they are near to you and as they see the kids they have naturally whipped out the spends for the hols. My dad lives close and rarely does anything like, oh here's a quid for an ice cream. He's a bit tight tho generally!

If your inlaws hadn't have given any money, you may not have even thought of it? It's triggered lots in you, that your parents are far away and not a part of everyday life. Thats how it is, but on special occasins, sometimes it whacks you in the face, that locationwise things aren't always ideal for a family structure.

LupusinaLlamasuit Sun 21-Jun-09 11:58:15

My parents have NEVER given my kids money. They just don't do money as presents. Perhaps this is what is going on?

pointydog Sun 21-Jun-09 11:58:56

yabu and you proabbaly know it.

I have skimmed over your stealthy bit. There are obviously long standing, sensitive issues here. You need to step back from you rparents. They don't sound particularly good sorts.

Niftyblue Sun 21-Jun-09 12:00:01

I can see where you are coming from on this

My parents give our DC a bit of spending money for their holidays

BUT the MIL and FIL don`t
But they give their other dgc money for their holidays angry!

In fact when their granddaughter (our Niece) came to stay here they give her a bit of spending money but don`t give her any to give to ours
In fact my niece told my DC Grandma and Grandad gave me some money to buy sweets with

In our case its
Out of sight out of mind

mrsruffallo Sun 21-Jun-09 12:01:30

They don't have to send money, it's a treat!!

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