Talk

Advanced search

do i call it a day and is this grounds for unreasonable behaviour? divorce

(11 Posts)
OriginalUglyBetty Sat 20-Jun-09 23:52:55

help - havent name changed as aint got time my husband was accused of havin affair with mrs x i agreed that they hadnt as kids were friends and together a lot (each others houses for tea) we seperaated early this year kids noe saying they are seeing her with daddy (but not cuddling) can i divorce feel shit and gutted he said he loved me and i obvously been played in my view whats yours? her partner felt what i did when seperated? what do i do an i divorce him for unreasonable behaviour?

OriginalUglyBetty Sat 20-Jun-09 23:56:19

sorry keyboard playing up - basically how do i get evidence and can i divorce him for unreasonable behaviour, her relationship broke down as husband thought the same? also is he being unreasonable in courts eyes? lady he was accused of affair with seing her regular and going out and about with no proof of sex?

toddlerama Sat 20-Jun-09 23:57:04

You can. Unreasonable behaviour is definitely easier grounds than adultery as it diesn't require her to be named as a respondent. However, don't jump to conclusions. Like you said, your kids are friends and it might be innocent.

toddlerama Sat 20-Jun-09 23:57:51

By the way, who actually accused them of an affair? Was it just her husband or others?

SomeGuy Sat 20-Jun-09 23:59:58

If you want to divorce him you can get one, and probably for "unreasonable behaviour" too. I guess he's happy to get divorced?

But it doesn't seem particularly unreasonable what he may have done given that you say you are separated?

You don't really want to get into gathering evidence and stuff, just speak to him say you want a divorce and hopefully it will all go cheaply and smoothly.

toddlerama Sun 21-Jun-09 00:00:51

I have to go to bed, but hope someone can help you with this. Try not to get wrapped up in what might just be gossip and rumours. x

OriginalUglyBetty Sun 21-Jun-09 00:03:55

it was her husband orginally, but my dh lied about them meeting recently i heard the whole story about them texting each other from my oldest i was gutted but to him obv had to act as though he had a fab day, me and dh were supposed to be trying to make it work and he knew how i felt about it i just want to be strong enough now to let go i am strong and intellent and have practically had a breakdown from this whole 6 months of us being apart as he is the love of my life,and he has alway tried to say if i fight seperation he would get full custody as i work full time in a stressful job? and i have had this breakdown and his parents helped with childcare? just realised writing this he sounds nice !lol

OriginalUglyBetty Sun 21-Jun-09 00:07:17

ps meant to say romours were before we seperated and i have been asked directly noisy sods!lol. but we were supposed to be iving it a go but i now know and have proof that they met up with kids and have carried on contact and i dont know what you need for the grounds of unreasonable behaviour? as in proof but i just know he doesnt care for me or he wouldnt keep puttin me in the position

OriginalUglyBetty Sun 21-Jun-09 00:09:38

sorry about this keyboard i can spell honest!

toddlerama Sun 21-Jun-09 00:14:51

I'm still up!

If he doesn't contest the divorce I don't think you need evidence. He will just admit to unreasonable behaviour and you'll get your decree nisi. One year on, decree absolute and it's done. This makes it sound trauma free - it isn't. If you can work it out, or perhaps he isn't being unfaithful, for your own sake see if you can find a way through this. Don't do it for the kids, or because you feel like shit. Do it because divorce hurts, and the majority (not all) regret it down the line. Sounds like you are still very much in love with him, so don't allow wounded pride as a result of what everyone else is saying to destroy you.

OriginalUglyBetty Sun 21-Jun-09 00:26:00

thanks x i feel gutted if im honest, i loved this man more than anything and trusted him through their divorce! but i have spent the last few months wanting him to just love me like he did, but i know if he did he would not put me in this position i have texts saying he is sorry and he knows how bad i feel - will that suffice? he will never agree to divorce as he wants a fall back? and thinks he will get custody as a work 9 -6pm and he doesnt, and as i have suffered since we split(emotional breakdown - anxiety disorder) and am now on meds (30mg) he will get custody if i try?

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now