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MIL and DS's Christening

(14 Posts)
ChazzerD Sat 20-Jun-09 15:36:42

We've only just decided to get our 2 month DS baptised, and told the family etc. and my MIL has already started to invite people from her family.

Bearing in mind we are on a really tight budget for the catering, MIL is his stepmother, they don't bother much with my DH except to check he isn't dead every few months, am I being unreasonable to be annoyed?

She did the same thing at our wedding where she invited the Godparents of DH's stepbrother and a selection of her friends we'd never met ....

daisydora Sat 20-Jun-09 15:46:09

YANBU - bang out of order especially if these are people that you and DH would not have invited yourself.

Simply tell her or get your DH to tell her that money is tight and they are not on the list. She will have to undo her inviting.

Tommy Sat 20-Jun-09 15:46:45


your party - you invite who you want.

change the date and don't tell her til the last minute grin

or your DH should just tell her that you are doing the inviting.

alicet Sat 20-Jun-09 17:13:22


I would just tell her that you are having a small party only and that you will be arranging the invitations. If she invites people who are not on the guest list it will be up to her to let them down.

However to be fair to her (don't know why though as this would drive me mad!) if you let her get away with it at your wedding (I would have put my foot down then) then she probably doesn't realise that she is out of order

alicet Sat 20-Jun-09 17:14:39

By the way you would also NBU even if they were the most pleasant friendly involved grandparents - you don't invite people to someone else's party without asking them first!

bentneckwine1 Sat 20-Jun-09 18:03:03

I remember being told once that a wedding is the correct place for friends of the parents who are hosting/paying for the reception. The invitation states that the brides parents are inviting you to the wedding...etc.

By the time the grandchildren come around and a christening is planned then it is the new parents who do the hosting, pay for the day and issue their own who they want.

jugglingwoman Sat 20-Jun-09 18:08:46

At my wedding my MIL had told lots of people they'd be coming that we didn't know. We then argued discussed that we wanted a small affair, that we didn't know a lot of people and we only had room for 50 (this was a sort of lie as we could have used an extra part of the venue but didn't want to). She had to give in and look like a fool to people who didn't get invites. Needless to say, I still don't feel bad.

Invite the people you want, if you feel bad for making her look silly (and believe me, you don't need to), do an invite for the 'Christening Service' with a from and to time on it. We also did that for our wedding (it happened in 3 parts) and it meant people knew where they stood.

Good luck with the IL politics!

Kimi Sat 20-Jun-09 18:10:02

YANBU tell her to stop it at once.
In future do not tell her about events just send her in invite the day before.
It is rude in the extream for her to invite all and sundrey

mulranno Sat 20-Jun-09 18:10:54

although bad manners...maybe she is really proud of you all and wants to show you all off to her friends...

LovelyTinOfSpam Sat 20-Jun-09 18:13:20

Christening in a church?

I'd say fine they can come for the ceremony but numbers for do after are very tight so they can't come.

I have done weddings ceremony only, if they are really that keen to see your DS christened then they will be more than happy to come and see that in the church and then go and do something else.

mamas12 Sat 20-Jun-09 19:25:10

Is she willing to pay for it all?

2rebecca Sat 20-Jun-09 20:43:01

You don't have to have stuff about parents inviting you to the wedding. At our wedding we invited the guests, but it wasn't a big traditional wedding. I'd get husband to phone his dad and stepmum and tell them that you will be having a small christening and choosing the guest list. If it's a church christening then anyone can go, up to you who you invite to the party though. If she behaved like that for your wedding though you were a bit daft not being firmer with her about not inviting her friends when you told her. It is all a bit predictable.

choccynutter Sat 20-Jun-09 20:49:30

tell her to butt out or don't come

Kimi Sun 21-Jun-09 11:09:35

So she is your DHs step mum, not even related to your DS, that is even more rude.

Think your DH needs to tell her to bugger off and stop interfering in his child's christening

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