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AIBU?

Oh I probably am, but this drives me insane!

32 replies

Servalan · 20/06/2009 09:29

Why does my DH insist on talking to our DD in wierd broken English - I mean really, why?!!!

For example, when something is finished with, for example TV time, I might say "DD, it's time to finish watching TV now."

DH will say: "DD, TV finish"

I'll say "do you need your potty?"

DH will say "do we need potty" and then when she's finished "pull up trousers" etc. etc.

Grrrr. She's nearly 3 FGS!!!



Sorry, rant over. As you were

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posieparker · 20/06/2009 09:31

My in laws do this, thank God we don't see them often. My DH comes from the Midlands and misses out words and puts them in the wrong order...
eg Let's put the vest on you.... instead of would you like to put your vest on

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mamas12 · 20/06/2009 09:41

It's really idiotic isn't it. Quite patronising, I mean when they teach the child to say bow wow instead of dog then a few months down the line correct her for saying bow bow instead of dog!
What a mind bend.
Explain it to him. Or start to talk to him like that and say I thought that's how you like to converse with people nowadays.

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MaryBS · 20/06/2009 09:43

My MIL used to be like this. When DS little, she used to call his toy (motor) cars "mote motes". DH has inherited a few too - if he asks me for a "chuppy egg" when HE wants a boiled egg one more time, I swear I'll swing for him

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Servalan · 20/06/2009 12:55

Sorry - had to pop out there. Oh yes - silly words for things could be a whole other thread.

According to my DH a car is a "brmm brumm", a cow is a "moo cow", a duck is a "ducky" - DD was saying all these words fine and properly and now she copies him

Hey mamas - maybe I will start talking to him like that! I don't want to criticise him about it cos he'll just get arsey with me, but it is honestly making me want to chew my own fist off with frustration I've tried being subtle and non-confrontational about it, but that isn't working...

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HuffwardlyRudge · 20/06/2009 13:14

I think it's normal to speak to children in babyish language. I will point out the "twee-twee-birdie" to my one-year-old. Was exactly the same with my three-year-old and she will now casually point out that there's a "Mynah Bird" in the garden. It's just a way of building up language.

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monkeyfacegrace · 20/06/2009 13:21

hangs head in shame
My daughter calls a yogurt an E-yoc (would you like a yoggie, a yoggie turned to E-yoc and its stuck!), juice is Doosh, chocolate is guguts, a crocodile is a snap snap and the list goes on! We obv talked to her normally when she was growing up, but she clung to some sounds and not others. Now its common language in our house, and mum always jokes that I talk fluent 'Grace'.

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Morloth · 20/06/2009 13:25

Does it matter?

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Bucharest · 20/06/2009 13:27

Because child language acquisition shows that using proper names like, Grace/Mummy etc sticks in the child's head rather than a "you/he/I" pronoun which might have a young child thinking "who is he talking about?"
The pull-trousers-up also a perfectly correct use of an imperative form for clarity and brevity.
So, yes, YABabitU - over grammar simplification, although NU about silly made-up words for objects which then just have to be relearned.

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BlueBumedFly · 20/06/2009 13:27

PosieParker - I think that there is a big difference between a regional dialect and speaking 'baby talk'. The OP was complaining that her DH was possibly holding their DD's language progression back by speaking to her in broken English. On the other hand, your PIL are speaking perfectly normally for the area of the country they come from.

My DH is from the Midlands, he might say something similar but it does not mean to say it is holding DD back, more that she grows up understanding we are all different.

How odd.

Back to the OP, I cringe when people talk like this to my DD and give myself a good slap if I ever resort to it myself, unless of course I have said the same thing over and over and I have got to the stage of using single words to try to get a result.... DD... SHOES....NOW comes to mind

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BlueBumedFly · 20/06/2009 13:31

Having said that we still have Meows and Doodledoodledooos, nip nips (crabs) lullilators (travelators), mulaka (milk) ... but she is only just 2 and she can say Delicious and Crocodile so nowt wrong there!

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Bucharest · 20/06/2009 13:31

Missed Posieparker's post.
Nothing wrong with Let's put....it simply implies that the speaker is offering to help the child put his vest on and is expecting an affirmative answer, whereas Would you like means the child is getting a choice and can say no.

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SoupDragon · 20/06/2009 13:32

Oh yes, my DSs are 10 & 8 and I resort to "SHOES. NOW." regularly. eloquence just doesn't get through to them.

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Servalan · 20/06/2009 13:32

I don't have a problem with adopting family traditions around mispronounciations.

The moo cow stuff I can live with, thought it is irritating to me - it's the missing words out thing that winds me up the most:

"Daddy carry" instead of "would you like daddy to carry you?"

"sit on chair" instead of "sit on your chair"

"wipe nose" instead of "let's wipe your nose"

I just think that at 3 this is unnecessary!

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Bucharest · 20/06/2009 13:35

Hmm, see what you mean actually- about the missing words....I was sitting in front of this family at a Milkshake Live horrorfest last summer and "Daddy" persisted in talking baby talk to the children (looked to be about 6 and 4) for the entire show..."Daddy love Peppa Pig....yaaaaaaaay, Mummy go Fifi house....yaaaaaaaay" Swear to God I wanted to stick my flashing light over priced plastic tat thingy up his fifi by the end of it....

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Servalan · 20/06/2009 13:35

Ooh, crossed loads of posts there.

I admit that I have been known to say "Shoes. now!" I think it's different though when it's a direct command than when it is just everyday speech and she is learning how to structure sentences

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Servalan · 20/06/2009 13:36

LOL Bucharest

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BlueBumedFly · 20/06/2009 13:39

LOL Bucharest! Plastic tat thingy up his fifi, pmsl

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Servalan · 20/06/2009 14:00

...and why say that things are "finish"

"Come on DD, Pingu finish, dinner finish, drink finish, toys finish"

Finished, finished FFS.

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Servalan · 20/06/2009 14:02

this has been getting on my nerves for a while now

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SoupDragon · 20/06/2009 14:04

Snort!

I think there is something to be said for speaking at their leave though. I often speak to DD (3) as if she is an adult. Then I have to rephrase it to her level and yes, often this is at the expense of proper sentence structure.

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SoupDragon · 20/06/2009 14:04

At their level

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Mollymom · 20/06/2009 14:09

YANBU it drives me mad too. DP asks DD what she wants for brek. Brek?!!??! Its breakfast FGS! And she can say breakfast. He also calls brocolli (sp?) 'broc'. He reckons it makes things easier for her to say!!! She can say all the words he shortens. Grrrr

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phatbooty · 20/06/2009 14:12

I can't stand it when grown ups point at steam trains and calls them Thomas 'Look there's a Thomas"

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LovelyTinOfSpam · 20/06/2009 14:12

We do this

Daddy carry? instead of "do you want daddy to carry you"/"oh so you want daddy to carry you" is a typical one.

She's nearly two and her speaking isn't that advanced - thinking about it I think we do it automatically to build her confidence IYSWIM that we understand what she's on about and that she is doing well.

We do also repeat back to her adding the extra words in as well though so she will hopefully get the hang of it.

Bit of both is good surely - can see how it might be a bit with an older child but for tiddlers, really, it's just what you do, innit

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Servalan · 20/06/2009 14:14

EXACTLY Mollymom

It gets more frustrating when it's things that DD is perfectly capable of saying/understanding. It's not like he's pitching what he says at her level of understanding - he's pitching what he says below her level of understanding.

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