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to be utterly fed up with FIL oggling my tits?!

(19 Posts)
jesstangle Fri 19-Jun-09 17:58:51

In fact I know for sure IANBU...
But what the hell do I do about it? If I have a hint of skin showing below my chin and above my belly button he's constantly talking to it.

I get the impression he's completely unaware he's doing it. Do I tell DP and risk him getting upset/cross/embarassed? Or do sweat my tits-off wearing roll necks all summer?

southeastastra Fri 19-Jun-09 18:02:21

poor you, it's unsettling when blokes do that, especially 'older' blokes

maybe try talking to his dick.

gibbberish Fri 19-Jun-09 18:02:24

How embarassing and rather disturbing! Can't you tape a sign to your chest with a big arrow pointing up and a write on it 'Talk to the face 'cause the boobs aint listening!'?

lou33 Fri 19-Jun-09 18:06:50

this

Nekabu Fri 19-Jun-09 18:07:24

Wait until you are alone and he does it again and just say in a light way something along the lines of "I wish you wouldn't look at my chest when you're talking to me as I find it embarrassing." If he flusters or blusters, just wrap it up and leave him to have a think about it.

lou33 Fri 19-Jun-09 18:08:29

oh it worked just now

let me try again wear this

HecatesTwopenceworth Fri 19-Jun-09 18:20:37

Or you could try the slightly more confrontational, in front of his wife.."They're breasts, they won't do tricks no matter how long you stare at them."

maria1665 Fri 19-Jun-09 18:25:31

Can't you get DH to have a word. Men deal with this sort of thing really well between themselves.

Years ago, we had a chap in the office who lived with his elderly father. They both smelt really strongly of wee. On hot days, the stench was sickening. Somebody asked the top manager - a male - to have a word. I understand his opening gambit was 'Peter - you stink. You are going to have to do something about it.'

ChippingIn Fri 19-Jun-09 18:28:19

LOL - Nekabu, Hecates - both good suggestions!

Next time he does it I would wiggle a bit so they jiggle a bit (admittedly I have the 'equipment' to do this, not sure if you do or not'), then when he looks up in suprise, give him the hmm and maintain eye contact until he flusters.... chances are, once he realises he's so bloody obvious about it, he'll do all he can to change his ways....

My Ex FIL was a smutty old git too - creepy isn't it. Sometimes felt like whispering to him in passing - 'Not a fucking chance'! but for the sake of harmony didn't...

Jux Fri 19-Jun-09 18:45:12

Or you could crouch lower and lower until his eyes are pointing at your face and you can say "oh that's better, talking to my face gets a better response"

PeachyTheRiverParrettHarlot Fri 19-Jun-09 18:46:48

Definitely get DH to have a word, thogh in truth the otehr options would be more fun grin

My FIL used to do a transvestite spell from time to time, and would wander around his small town in string pants or paper pants; I remember the first time I visited, sat at table wearing nice argyle old man jumper... stands up et voila! G string and nothing else below deck.

Ajnd DH's maternal grandfather who lay on the reed carpet at my wedding in an attempt to see up my dress as it was too high cut to see down.

You see, I have experience with dodgy old perverts. I find making comments in front of their wives works best though TBH once FIL got a grlfriend and a sex life he calmed down somewhat

Good luck

ReneRusso Fri 19-Jun-09 18:48:32

Yuk - YANBU. My Fil is a pervy old git too. He has been known to touch me inappropriately when he's had a few drinks[bleurgh]. You have to say something in front of DP, Mil, whoever is around. Try and keep it light hearted but make the point. eg, "Have a spilt something on my t-shirt cos you keep looking down there?"

lucyellensmumisgreat Fri 19-Jun-09 18:49:49

Say this - "stop looking at my tits"

That'l work

tisa Fri 19-Jun-09 18:54:27

Lucyellensmumisgreat has the right idea about what to do.

LovingtheSilverFox Fri 19-Jun-09 18:54:32

My husband's uncle and cousin are overly ambitious huggers. I wouldn't mind but have put on a fair bit of weight since meeting DH, so don't feel desperately sexy. I mentioned it to DH, who very clearly marks his territory by keeping an arm round my shouldersn whilst they are saying hello. It gets a bit awkward, and almost like a tug of war........not such a good idea on second thoughts. We tend to find it funny. I don't know about breast staring though, it doesn't bother me too much, I have had it most of my life, being of the larger cup, you get used to it unfortunately. If it does get tiresome I normally point out to the offender, in company, loudly, that they aren't going to talk back.

tisa Fri 19-Jun-09 18:59:11

grin

heartmoonshadow Sat 20-Jun-09 09:59:31

Hi

My FIL is a dirty old man and was looking at my boobs constantly ( I am a 38FF normally prior to pregnancy and now just bl*y huge!) Anyway I did to him what I would do to anyone who talked directly at my chest - I leant over really close, and with my finger I tipped up his chin and very quietly and firmly said 'If you don't mind I keep my brain in here (pointing at my head) and although you may keep yours in your pants I would prefer it if you talked to my face.'

He has never ogled me openly again - but to be honest I have been dealing with men looking since I was 12/13 when they developed so I have done this several times to men.

PaulaAtMummyKnowsBest Sat 20-Jun-09 11:02:58

maybe it's a FIL thing?

I can remember breast feeding my baby and my FIL saying, "Breast is best you know..... it's warm, good for the baby and it comes in such lovely packaging" shock

insertwittynicknameHERE Sun 21-Jun-09 13:20:10

Ewww YANBU, this is exactly the reason that step FIL was the only person that I wouldn't breastfeed in front of.
Not a problem with DD2 when she gets here as step FIL and I now have noting to do with each other (utter bliss)

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